Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

purpletoenails

nickyhutch wrote: »

How old are his children, PTN?

17 and almost 20

Lotus-eater wrote: »

I think you've given so much away about him, I would be careful, you might want to go back and delete some stuff.

I have been trying to be really careful while still answering the questions as honestly as I can were there any particular posts that you think I need to edit?

Wickedkitten wrote: »

Is it normal for you two to go that long without seeing each other?

Yes its normally at least 2 weeks between times.

gonzo127

sorry again but having just noticed the age of his kids, it really has reaffirmed in my mind that he is never going to leave his wife as they are practially adults and would easily understand 'daddy' leaving 'mummy'

lostinrates

gonzo127 wrote: »

sorry again but having just noticed the age of his kids, it really has reaffirmed in my mind that he is never going to leave his wife as they are practially adults and would easily understand 'daddy' leaving 'mummy'

tbf one is presumably in the a level years and a father would be concerned about disruption in those years, and the two before that.

gonzo127

purpletoenails wrote: »

It's extended family on his wife's side, they tend to do all their socialising together. His own extended family is much smaller and dotted around the country. I do realise how much he has to lose, he would have to give up an awful lot, and he would have to be very brave to do that, and very certain that he wanted to be with me.

i cant believe no one has said this, but surely after 2 1/2 years he would know if he was certain about you or not.

gonzo127

lostinrates wrote: »

tbf one is presumably in the a level years and a father would be concerned about disruption in those years, and the two before that.

but what about the couple of years after that when at uni, wouldnt want to disrupt that, and you know some courses can be 5 years long so wouldnt want to disrupt those either?

what about the 'children' moving home afterwards? wouldnt want to put them under any extra pressure or worries as moving home is stressful for them

then when/if the children want to get married, wouldnt want to upset that either as thats really stressful?

and then the grandchildren wouldnt want to make it difficult for the grandchildren to see their grandparents....

i know a little over the top (maybe?) but basically PTN could be looking at least another 5 years (just taking it until the end of uni for both children) before he might be able to leave his wife because of the kids

does the OP really wish to be someones bit on the side for 7 1/2 years in the hope that he will leave his wife then and not find another reason such as the ones above

FatVonD

purpletoenails wrote: »

I was hoping that I would be strong enough to bid him a very fond farewell and wish him all the best for the future. However, things may not quite have worked out like that once I was actually in his company!

I too hope you will be strong enough to walk away if you don't get the answer you wish for (I don't think you will be but I'd love to be surprised!) and go on to meet someone lovely that will commit to you properly, I guarantee that when you do you will be kicking yourself for not being 'available' to meet whoever that is 2.5 years sooner.

POPPYOSCAR

Hi Purpletoenails, hope your daughter is feeling better(Not feeling too good myself today as I went to a big wedding yesterday and the wine was flowing!!)


Shame you did not get to see him as planned and sort things out.
Perhaps as someone else said earlier this will give you both more time to really think things through and make the difficult decisions that must be made.

purpletoenails

gonzo127 wrote: »

does the OP really wish to be someones bit on the side for 7 1/2 years in the hope that he will leave his wife then and not find another reason such as the ones above

No I don't really want that

FatVonD wrote: »

I too hope you will be strong enough to walk away if you don't get the answer you wish for (I don't think you will be but I'd love to be surprised!) and go on to meet someone lovely that will commit to you properly, I guarantee that when you do you will be kicking yourself for not being 'available' to meet whoever that is 2.5 years sooner.

I have been known to surprise people on occasion

petrolhead89 wrote: »

yes absolutely...:T your just as bad as he is and I can think of many names for "women" like you....

I doubt you can think of any I haven't been called on this thread already....

Pollycat

petrolhead89 wrote: »

yes absolutely...:T your just as bad as he is and I can think of many names for "women" like you....

purpletoenails wrote: »

I doubt you can think of any I haven't been called on this thread already....

PTN
I like your style, I really do.

Very few people could have kept their cool amidst all the haranguing and abuse that's been thrown at you since you started this thread - but you have.

POPPYOSCAR

gonzo127 wrote: »

sorry again but having just noticed the age of his kids, it really has reaffirmed in my mind that he is never going to leave his wife as they are practially adults and would easily understand 'daddy' leaving 'mummy'

As an adult I would quite easily have understood my daddy leaving my mummy and would have been more than happy!!