Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

Person_one

purpletoenails wrote: »

He's off on his hols tomorrow for 2 1/2 weeks, and then the week he's back I'm off work and made plans to do some things with my children and we have a big birthday in the family (and of course gcse results that week too) so I can't really go gallivanting off. So it will be the beginning of September before we have the opportunity to meet up again!

Phone call?

cheepskate_2

[QUOTE=purpletoenails;45816301_then_the_week_he's_back_I'm_off_work_so_I_can't_really_go_gallivanting_off._So_it_will_be_the_beginning_of_September_before_we_have_the_opportunity_to_meet_up_again![/QUOTE]

It doesn't really seem to be a hot romance, that both of aren't that bothered to find a way to meet.

nickyhutch

Jerryjerryjerry wrote: »

I've heard of and known some people who have split with their partners for the "other woman/man". But as soon as they are free to be together, the spark/magic/sense of excitement disappears almost immediately.

It didn't with me, so it isn't always the case.

purpletoenails

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

Have to say, as passionate affairs go it's a bit of a damp squib isn't it? You both have too much baggage to make a go of it.

Hope your daughter recovers soon, and I'm glad you have your priorities right!

I don't think it's a damp squid, I also don't think either of us have any more baggage than the average person has.

Person_one wrote: »

Phone call?

I think the conversation that we need to have would be better face to face

cheepskate wrote: »

It doesn't really seem to be a hot romance, that both of aren't that bothered to find a way to meet.

We were both disappointed about today, it was very unfortunate. It's a 5 hour round trip, we both work - him often 6 days per week, so not a case of not bothering, just not something either of us can fit in at the drop of a hat. He will be out of the country for the next 2.5 weeks, then I have some things already arranged with my family the week he gets back. I have spoken to him this evening and agreed a new day to meet.

Bogof_Babe

Does he know that your next meeting will be a serious "where do we go from here?" discussion, or does he just think it's the normal few hours of being together?

Will he be able to keep in touch with you while he's away?

Person_one

purpletoenails wrote: »

I don't think it's a damp squid, I also don't think either of us have any more baggage than the average person has.

I think the conversation that we need to have would be better face to face

Squid are always damp, they live in the sea.


I agree that a phone call is not ideal, but neither is waiting weeks to have an important conversation. It really seems like you let him call the shots, if you want your answer, get your answer, he's had over two years to decide who he wants to be with.

lostinrates

Person_one wrote: »

Squid are always damp, they live in the sea.


I agree that a phone call is not ideal, but neither is waiting weeks to have an important conversation. It really seems like you let him call the shots, if you want your answer, get your answer, he's had over two years to decide who he wants to be with.

I'm afraid I agree with this.

firstly, for his family's sake, so that if it is ''no'' for you, he can single mindely devote himself to his family now, not perpetuate the ''lie'' that we presume is happening. Secondly, for your sake....the longer this is drawn out the harder it is. The idea of the timing was to give you both a chance to be a long way a way in distance and not in contact.

purpletoenails

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

Does he know that your next meeting will be a serious "where do we go from here?" discussion, or does he just think it's the normal few hours of being together?

Will he be able to keep in touch with you while he's away?

Yes he does know, that's what we were supposed to be doing today. I'm not expecting to hear from him, there's about 10 of them going so I imagine it will be quite difficult.

Person_one wrote: »

Squid are always damp, they live in the sea. Sorry I read it as squib :rotfl:


I agree that a phone call is not ideal, but neither is waiting weeks to have an important conversation. It really seems like you let him call the shots, if you want your answer, get your answer, he's had over two years to decide who he wants to be with.

To be fair to him, I've never really asked before but I do understand what you are saying. I don't suppose a few more weeks will make much difference in the grand scheme of things.

edited to say, yes it did say squib but I made a typo in my reply lol I meant to write squib too :rotfl:

Bogof_Babe

Squid/squib is a common confusion. One's a fish and one's a firework .

If there's about ten of them going on holiday together he must have a big family (unless they are going with another family?). When he makes his decision I expect he will be all too aware of the disapproval he'll get from all and sundry if he dumps his wife for "another woman", even if they don't like her all that much. Just saying, as you need to bear in mind that there is so much more to all this than just what you two feel for eachother.

purpletoenails

lostinrates wrote: »

I'm afraid I agree with this.

firstly, for his family's sake, so that if it is ''no'' for you, he can single mindely devote himself to his family now, not perpetuate the ''lie'' that we presume is happening. Secondly, for your sake....the longer this is drawn out the harder it is. The idea of the timing was to give you both a chance to be a long way a way in distance and not in contact.

Yes it was, and also the reason I've planned quite a lot to do when he arrives back! However, it's unlikely that I'll be able to speak to him again now for any length of time before he goes away.

I don't think it's a total disaster though, I might discover after not talking to him for a fortnight (and we are normally in touch daily) that it doesn't bother me as much as I think it will.