Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

nickyhutch

wageslave wrote: »

Every day. Especially now she suspects her husband is unfaithful

Wageslave, would you going to explain this comment, please?

stargazer59

Having read most of this thread, thats an afternoon i wont get back!
I find at the grand old age of 51 i can see both sides to this.
It is amazing to me that the nastiest replies are from so called "religious" people, thought they were supposed to be better than that.

The people who have been hurt by partners having affairs come across as very bitter .

Nicky has been forced to defend herself from personal attacks from people who are so holier than thou, its actually amusing as she (and PTN) have answered these attacks with calm dignity.

I have never had an affair, but i dont judge others for what they do in life, who am i to do that? no one is perfect, we do things in life we may regret later, we may not.

My parents divorced when i was 16, there were 5 kids , both had affairs at the end of a 25 year marriage, am i bitter and twisted? No.

For all the smug people on here who KNOW their partners will never cheat, i used to belong to a well renowned dating site, over 50% of the men i spoke to on there were happily married men, there were probably as many married women too, their wives/husbands didnt know they were cheating, the ones i spoke to could not have been from more varied backgrounds or faiths, so i guess i am saying you may THINK you know ,but do you really?

i guess im just hoping that i never come across as bitter and hateful as some people on here.

nickyhutch

stargazer59 wrote: »

Having read most of this thread, thats an afternoon i wont get back!
I find at the grand old age of 51 i can see both sides to this.
It is amazing to me that the nastiest replies are from so called "religious" people, thought they were supposed to be better than that.

The people who have been hurt by partners having affairs come across as very bitter .

Nicky has been forced to defend herself from personal attacks from people who are so holier than thou, its actually amusing as she (and PTN) have answered these attacks with calm dignity.

I have never had an affair, but i dont judge others for what they do in life, who am i to do that? no one is perfect, we do things in life we may regret later, we may not.

My parents divorced when i was 16, there were 5 kids , both had affairs at the end of a 25 year marriage, am i bitter and twisted? No.

For all the smug people on here who KNOW their partners will never cheat, i used to belong to a well renowned dating site, over 50% of the men i spoke to on there were happily married men, there were probably as many married women too, their wives/husbands didnt know they were cheating, the ones i spoke to could not have been from more varied backgrounds or faiths, so i guess i am saying you may THINK you know ,but do you really?

i guess im just hoping that i never come across as bitter and hateful as some people on here.

Thank you.

The last bit about dating sites - how true! I was on a few "socialising" rather than true dating sites, and my word, a huge proportion of the men on there were married or coupled-up, and more than keen for a meet up. Same goes for a night out - the number of married/coupled men trying it on is amazing. People who haven't been there haven't really got a clue.

gratefulforhelp_2

stargazer59 wrote: »

It is amazing to me that the nastiest replies are from so called "religious" people, thought they were supposed to be better than that.

It is amazing to me how people of faith are so often assumed to be setting themselves up as some kind of an example.

Certainly in Christianity, we are all making an acknowledgement that we are so far from perfect, and that we need help to do better.

So maybe you (presumably) non-religious people are so good you don't need that help.

1echidna

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

It is amazing to me how people of faith are so often assumed to be setting themselves up as some kind of an example.

Certainly in Christianity, we are all making an acknowledgement that we are so far from perfect, and that we need help to do better.

So maybe you (presumably) non-religious people are so good you don't need that help.

A bit of a sting in the tail! I think the point about non religious people is that they are more interested in what works or not rather than abstract notions of 'right' and 'wrong', and in particular those which are customary.

stargazer59

The reason i made the point about faith, is that you ARE setting yourself up to be better, just reading your posts on this topic confirms it.

I dont remember anywhere in my post saying whether i have any religious beliefs or not. You are assuming.

I am not perfect, i dont need help to tell me that, but i also believe that i have no right to be judgemental on other peoples behaviour.

Is it a tenet of Christianity to be so unforgiving to others?

I am sure your god and his son said something different?

gratefulforhelp_2

stargazer59 wrote: »

The reason i made the point about faith, is that you ARE setting yourself up to be better, just reading your posts on this topic confirms it.

I'm not sure where I have written that, please enlighten me?

I dont remember anywhere in my post saying whether i have any religious beliefs or not. You are assuming.

That's why my post said presumably.

I am not perfect, i dont need help to tell me that, but i also believe that i have no right to be judgemental on other peoples behaviour.

I posted on this thread because the lack of understanding about adultery and it's detrimental effects worried me, it still worries me. The fact that some people are so glib about it worries me.

Is it a tenet of Christianity to be so unforgiving to others?

In what way have I been unforgiving, and in fact, it is the cuckolded woman and her child/ren who can offer forgiveness, surely, not posters on the thread?

I am sure your god and his son said something different?

You need to read back properly and see who said what.

gratefulforhelp_2

1echidna wrote: »

A bit of a sting in the tail! I think the point about non religious people is that they are more interested in what works or not rather than abstract notions of 'right' and 'wrong', and in particular those which are customary.

You don't need to be religious to see the damage done to families due to one partner's adultery.

I would point out that the more agressive posts haven't been mine - you're just arguing with me because I'm still posting;)

POPPYOSCAR

Pollycat wrote: »

Wonderful! :coffee:

Maybe later, when the sun is over the yardarm, we can all have a friendly :beer:.

Southern comfort for me please!!! (Make it a double)

POPPYOSCAR

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

Maybe a distinction needs to be made between couples whose marriage is sufficiently on the rocks for them both to be aware of it, and those where one partner just fancies a fling, and the other one has no reason to think there is anything wrong.

The tricky bit for the OP is working out which sort she's dealing with.

I so agree with you on this.