Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

Bogof_Babe

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Obviously it is to you but not to me. I have come to the conclusion
that nothing is black and white in life.

A penguin is :rotfl:.

POPPYOSCAR

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

A penguin is :rotfl:.

Love it!!!:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:



......... Although I believe if you look closely they are a shade of blue/black!!!!!!!!!!

Welshwoofs

VestanPance wrote: »

It's a black and white situation, having an affiar is wrong. There is no circumstance that makes it ok. If these people are not sharing their issues with their partner and working to resolve them then that is showing a massive character flaw, and in having an affiar an even greater and vile trait has been shown.

A decision is made to betray, cheat, lie to the person they made a commitment to. It's a cold act that has nothing to do with anything other than their character.

Actually, I've just remembered that I had an affair years ago. Go me!! :T:T

It was my first long-term live-in partner; he was already married to a woman he lived with for...ohhhh....about 14 days before they both amicably separated as it was merely a marriage of convenience in the first place to get her into the country.

Of course he should have been grown up and divorced before seeing me some 2 years later. And what was I like?? Sheesh...what a harlot!

Still...it's good to know the vocal minority still have their pitchforks sharpened and their blind refusal to look at anything beyond the rather naive 'black and white' scenario well in place.

suited-aces

nickyhutch wrote: »

What's to say someone who's never done it before wont do it in the future?

Incredible logic.

neverdespairgirl

nickyhutch wrote: »

But not everyone can be brave, unselfish and grown up all the time; we're not all perfect, we make mistakes, bad choices. It's not a crime to be selfish, uncourageous and childish. Of course it's better if we're not, but I think most people have been at least one of those things at least once in their lives.

Of course it's not a crime to be childish, selfish, etc.

And everyone is sometimes selfish, unpleasant, irritable, and so forth. Perfection is unrealised.

But having an on-going affair is a particular example of huge selfishness, betrayal, deceit, and a lack of integrity. That doesn't make the person a bad person forever, but their behaviour is bad.

erdd2

eeeeeee wrote: »

if it makes you happy then go for it ... you only live once .. xx

And if it makes others, not forgetting children where relevant, unhappy is your answer the same?

erdd2

I said this at the beginning of this thread.....it would be better all round if one was to completely end one relationship before entering another, especially if children are involved! being the single one in an affair makes one no less selfish than the "tied/married" if they are aware of the "tie"/marriage. Someone always gets hurt and if it is in ones make up to do so, they will as can be seen from some replies.

suited-aces

erdd2 wrote: »

And if it makes others, not forgetting children where relevant, unhappy is your answer the same?

This is 2011, no-one thinks of others.

erdd2

suited-aces wrote: »

This is 2011, no-one thinks of others.

You are obviously not talking for everyone for I and many others I know are not of the same mindset as yourself albeit aware that there is a growing breed of meme's crippling humanity

Welshwoofs

erdd2 wrote: »

I said this at the beginning of this thread.....it would be better all round if one was to completely end one relationship before entering another, especially if children are involved!

That's a good ideal to aim for, but not always possible.

When my step-father left his wife for my Mother it took nearly 2 years to get the divorce finalised because it was incredibly complicated; he owned a business that had been in the family for a few hundred years and she was listed as as director and wanted to cripple it out of spite to ensure his and my Mother's life were hell. Ironically, in seeking to cripple it she was shooting herself in the foot too because the income she wanted for maintenance came from the business she wanted to cripple.

In situations where a divorce gets very messy, whether because of the finance or custody, it's just not realistic to expect total abstinence from any new romantic involvement for what could literally be years. The only divorces which go quickly and smoothly are the ones where the splitting of assets and access to children is mutually agreed from the outset...and they're a very rare thing indeed!