Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

VestanPance

Maybe if he had any decency and sorted the divorce before hooking up with another woman the divorce may have gone much easier.

It is always possible to end one relationship before starting another. It's only those that CHOOSE not to that try to claim otherwise.

Pollycat

Getting back to the OP's own circumstances, I think the very worst that can happen is that her friend (after his 2 week holiday with his family) says he still loves her but can't leave his family just now,,,,,,and things continue on (and on) as they have been for several years.

If that is his (non) decision, I hope purpletoenails has the courage to walk away and start her life afresh, maybe with someone who is free to treat her as she deserves.

nickyhutch

Those of you saying the unhappy person should end the relationship before starting another - are you saying that the divorce should be finalised, or just that he/she should leave his/her husband wife?

VestanPance

They should have left and the divorce proceedings started, not lied, cheated and betrayed someone who had trust in them and who still had a relationship with them.

nickyhutch

VestanPance wrote: »

They should have left and the divorce proceedings started, not lied, cheated and betrayed someone who had trust in them and who still had a relationship with them.

Yes I think I get your feelings on this subject.

Pollycat

nickyhutch wrote: »

Those of you saying the unhappy person should end the relationship before starting another - are you saying that the divorce should be finalised, or just that he/she should leave his/her husband wife?

I think Gonzo127 has highlighted the reason why to wait until finalisation of divorce before starting another relationship is not a valid suggestion:

gonzo127 wrote: »

my wife's devoice from her ex husband took an ice age to go through, we are talking 2 1/2 years from the serving of papers to get the decree nisi

so for that period of time (baring in mind her husband had left her and their children to be with his other women) should she have not been able to pursue any relationships?

gratefulforhelp_2

nickyhutch wrote: »

So what if she did or didn't? It's my relationship we're talking about (and you're puling to bits). I'm being upfront and honest with you - you don't need to treat me like a dim, naive little girl.

You are being overly sensitive, she wasn't attacking you, nor was poet.

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

No-one is arguing that a marriage should have to be upheld until "death do us part". If they are unhappy that would be purgatory for all concerned.

Actually, I am. At least that is what I would like to achieve.

lostinrates

Welshwoofs wrote: »

Actually, I've just remembered that I had an affair years ago. Go me!! :T:T

It was my first long-term live-in partner; he was already married to a woman he lived with for...ohhhh....about 14 days before they both amicably separated as it was merely a marriage of convenience in the first place to get her into the country.

Of course he should have been grown up and divorced before seeing me some 2 years later. And what was I like?? Sheesh...what a harlot!

Still...it's good to know the vocal minority still have their pitchforks sharpened and their blind refusal to look at anything beyond the rather naive 'black and white' scenario well in place.

fwiw, using a sham marriage situation isn't necessarily the most convincing argument to many that these situations can be ''moral''.

nickyhutch

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

You are being overly sensitive, she wasn't attacking you, nor was poet.

Ok, I'm overly sensitive.



Actually, I am. At least that is what I would like to achieve.

Honestly? Til death do them part, even if they are both unhappy, or he beats her up, or she treats him like crap? It may suit you, but not everybody surely? You are obviously still very happy in your relationship, and that's great, but til death do us part is NOT realistic in every marriage.

gratefulforhelp_2

Obviously if one partner is being abused, then there is a completely good reason to leave, but it is a long way from abuse to

"I'm not so happy this year, and its a bit boring, spark has gone so I'm entitled to stray".

Also, IMHO, and I know a LOT of people disagree with this, though the emotions may be the same in a committed relationship without marriage, the moral issues are a little different.