Can an affair ever have a happy ending?

SaLoGo

purpletoenails wrote: »

I'm single, I'm not technically cheating on anyone

Well, I take it all back then... that makes everything OK!!!

purpletoenails

thorsoak wrote: »

Does your daughter know about him? Does she know that he is married? If the answer is "no" to both these questions, how would you feel about her finding out?

In the future, Would you be happy if she were (a) in your position or (b) in the position of your lover's wife? Or his daughter?

No she does not know about, but my son, who is 22 is aware of it and has met him.

I do not want her to know as I don't feel there is any benefit to her knowing as things currently stand.

I honestly would not want her to be in any of those positions, I certainly didn't ever intend to find myself in the position that I am currently in, but I am, and now I'm trying to decide what to do.

Baggiebird1nil

Walk away NOW.

purpletoenails

Errata wrote: »

I expect that's what his wife and kids think too.

Clear off out of his life or accept that you're a second class woman playing second fiddle at his convenience because he can't keep either his mouth or his pants zipped. That's not a good role model for your kids.

I'm not a second class woman though you're correct that I am playing second fiddle at the moment!

peachyprice

mithuthecat wrote: »

I have a very close friend who is in a similar situation he is married with no children,she is in a relationship with someone,but when you see them together you can see that they really do both love each other,I have even said to my friend that one day you will have a ultimation the wife or your girlfriend,he has said he would leave his wife for her,yes its all wrong but he has said,we only live once and this is not a rehersal,yes i agree that even a person who is married can fall in love with somebody else,and its life and it happens every day

Of course someone who is married can fall in love with someone else, however he should have the courage of his convictions and be with with your friend, not string her and his wife along.

,

Person_one

purpletoenails wrote: »

I'm not a second class woman though you're correct that I am playing second fiddle at the moment!

You're a woman who doesn't mind being part of a situation that will cause huge amounts of pain and grief to another woman and her children.

You might not like the expression 'second class', but you and this man certainly don't have any other type of class.

Seriously, sisterhood, where did it go?

peachyprice

purpletoenails wrote: »

I do know that things aren't always rosy for him at home, but I try to keep my thoughts to myself.

Sorry sweetheart, but that is the oldest line in the book. It's what ALL men having an affair with no intention of leaving their wives say.

purpletoenails wrote: »

They have seperate rooms, but yes I'm sure they do sleep together occasionally

And so is this, honestly. Really, he's making a fool of you.

thorsoak

purpletoenails wrote: »

No she does not know about, but my son, who is 22 is aware of it and has met him.

I do not want her to know as I don't feel there is any benefit to her knowing as things currently stand.

I honestly would not want her to be in any of those positions, I certainly didn't ever intend to find myself in the position that I am currently in, but I am, and now I'm trying to decide what to do.

So basically, you aren't happy in this relationship?

euronorris

purpletoenails wrote: »

I am single, he has been married for 21 years. both our youngest children have just taken their GCSE's

Balletshoes - 'The one thing that stopped me was knowing in that relationship I would always play second fiddle, because he was still with his wife. As much as we had a strong physical attraction and could talk for hours etc, he wasn't committed to me, and couldn't ever be while he was still living with his wife. I know I deserve better - every human being deserves better than that'. This is what I am finding so difficult now.

Person-one - 'Leave him, tell his wife what he's been up to (some might disagree but I think she deserves to know what she's married to) and never look back.' I could not do this, there would be nothing to be gained by telling her, apart from causing a lot of hurt, and making me look like Iwant some kind of revenge, which I don't.

Regardless of the moral aspect, you are putting all the decision making power of this relationship in his hands.

To redress the balance, you can leave him and move on. Take back your independance.

If he really wants to be with you, he will make it happen. I very much doubt he will do anything other than moan to you about your decision though (so be prepared and stay strong).

So really, the best thing for you to do is leave him and move on. There are plenty of lovely, single guys out there (and any married man playing the field doesn't fit my definition of lovely, so do take off your rose tinted glasses too).

mithuthecat

As peachy said my friend is in the situation where he may shortly make the decision to leave his wife for his girlfriend,she is in a relationship with somebody who she does not love and they have not slept together for a long time,and believe me they are in love but regarding the op she must make her own decision and go along with it