Narcisism!

gt568

Is this curable or treatable?

Dunroamin

KxMx wrote: »

How many registered members of MSE are there, and how many individual posters have talked about NPD in their lives?
Likewise how many threads about NPD, and how many threads on MSE overall?

Do those stats match up with yours?

By the way, those living with NPD or people with Narcissistic tendencies tend to have been trained by the N in question to think the N is always right and the other person is always wrong.

Speaking personally I cannot tell you just how liberating it is to find out that things you have been told are normal are in fact abnormal. Myself I had started along that path independently but to find others out there who understood and to see things in black and white that I could then go research myself was amazing.

I managed to salvage my relationship with the person who has narcissistic tendencies and know from other stories on here how lucky I am. This has done both me and the person involved the world of good, we get on so much better and I at least am much happier! The other person will even admit now that they see they did not treat me well and I no longer daydream about cutting contact/ only phoning them once a week.

Narcissism is very taboo, especially when that person is a parent and the cult of "honour thy mother and father" more often than not will place the blame on the offspring without a second thought. Society is very judgemental of offspring who cut out their parents and cast the parents as the poor innocent injured party, and the offspring the big bad wolf.

It is incredibly helpful to find others with parents who do not treat them well and can give people confidence to act in their own best interests instead of pandering to the narcissist. It can show those people a way forward, offer them support and understanding whereas wider society would happily cast them out!

I know the thread by happyhaddock was incredibly helpful to many, many people.

Quibble all you like about definitions but unless you've lived through it or with it you just can't understand. And I think some comments on this thread demonstrate this.

Is there a reason so many people on here say they have narcissistic parents and very few say that they have narcissistic children? Doesn't this say more about family dynamics than anything else?

poet123

missprice wrote: »

Poet forgive me as am not feeling the greatest today, but
Are you trying to say none on here or this thread are in fact NPD?
What difference does that make as the same attitudes e.g broken record will have same effect whether NPD or just plain mean.
If someone is mean, nasty or mentally cruel to anyone over a prolonged period and that person wants to finally deal with it, does it matter if just called NPD or t0sser?

Yes, I believe it does matter, for the reasons previously given.

missprice wrote: »

Not sure if your trying to say the NPD person needs more understanding from the victim, or something else?

I am saying that the terms used when someone arbitrarily decides that another person in their life has NPD; victim, sufferer, etc immediately medicalises the issue, when, going off the stats it is impossible for all those so judged to actually have the full blown condition/disorder. I think this "diagnosis" confers a validity on others to behave differently towards those people than they might otherwise do.

missprice wrote: »

And what's with the more men have it? How do you know, Linky or something pretty please

Most of the details are in non public access documents but this refers to the stats mentioned.

https://groups.google.com/forum/#!topic/NARCISSISTIC-PERSONALITY-DISORDER/JzT7PCNYKX0

With regard to what else I was saying LIR has explained it exactly, but I did think I had been clear there.

Own_My_Own

Dunroamin wrote: »

Is there a reason so many people on here say they have narcissistic parents and very few say that they have narcissistic children? Doesn't this say more about family dynamics than anything else?

Part of being narcissistic is the ability to manipulate. Small children do not have the mental capacity to do this.
Neither do they have the ability to mentally torture their parents.

Older children are labelled as just being bad.

Adult narcissist children most probably do not live with their parents. It is their spouse and children that have to live with it.

IMO you are doing nothing but proving your lack of knowledge on the subject.

Dunroamin

Own_My_Own wrote: »

Part of being narcissistic is the ability to manipulate. Small children do not have the mental capacity to do this.
Neither do they have the ability to mentally torture their parents.

Older children are labelled as just being bad.

Adult narcissist children most probably do not live with their parents. It is their spouse and children that have to live with it.

IMO you are doing nothing but proving your lack of knowledge on the subject.

And I feel that you're exhibiting a lack of critical thinking.

poet123

Own_My_Own wrote: »

Part of being narcissistic is the ability to manipulate. Small children do not have the mental capacity to do this.
Neither do they have the ability to mentally torture their parents.

Older children are labelled as just being bad.

Adult narcissist children most probably do not live with their parents. It is their spouse and children that have to live with it.

IMO you are doing nothing but proving your lack of knowledge on the subject.

Whilst clinical diagnosis is unusual in children, there is a body of research concerning NPD in children.

Overview here:

Personality disorders (PDs) in adulthood have been recognized as having a profound and prolonged impact on the individual, on the family, and on society ( Ruegg and Frances 1995). Epidemiological research indicates a high prevalence of PDs between the ages of 9 and 19 as well ( Bernstein et al. 1993); however, the development of PDs in young people has not received the attention it merits.

Our purpose is to present the mounting and compelling evidence for the presence of PDs in children and adolescents so that they will be more readily recognized and treated.

Taken from here:

http://www.questia.com/read/85707532/personality-disorders-in-children-and-adolescents

This gives some specific info.

http://www.questia.com/read/85707532/personality-disorders-in-children-and-adolescents

missprice

poet123 wrote: »

Yes, I believe it does matter, for the reasons previously given.



I am saying that the terms used when someone arbitrarily decides that another person in their life has NPD; victim, sufferer, etc immediately medicalises the issue, when, going off the stats it is impossible for all those so judged to actually have the full blown condition/disorder. I think this "diagnosis" confers a validity on others to behave differently towards those people than they might otherwise do.



Most of the details are in non public access documents but this refers to the stats mentioned.

https://groups.google.com/forum/#!topic/NARCISSISTIC-PERSONALITY-DISORDER/JzT7PCNYKX0

With regard to what else I was saying LIR has explained it exactly, but I did think I had been clear there.

So if I call the NPD a bully instead its not medicalising the problem yet the same actions, broken record, no contact etc will have the same effect.
I agree that we can't diagnose over the net, but we seem to disagree that people who are putting up with the behavior will react or treat differently the bully. In what way will they be treated differently?
Thanks for Linky. I did read it and maybe some of the people mentioned on here are phsycopaths or autistic or histrionic ( lovely word that )
It does however say that men are 50 to 75% more likely to be NPD.
Which must mean women are 25 to 50% likely.

likelyfran

gt568 wrote: »

Is this curable or treatable?

Think it's classified as a 'personality disorder' and as far as I understand, they're not considered to be treatable or curable.

gt568

likelyfran wrote: »

Think it's classified as a 'personality disorder' and as far as I understand, they're not considered to be treatable or curable.

So they are screwed for life then?

Vicky123

missprice wrote: »

So if I call the NPD a bully instead its not medicalising the problem yet the same actions, broken record, no contact etc will have the same effect.
I agree that we can't diagnose over the net, but we seem to disagree that people who are putting up with the behavior will react or treat differently the bully. In what way will they be treated differently?
Thanks for Linky. I did read it and maybe some of the people mentioned on here are phsycopaths or autistic or histrionic ( lovely
It does however say that men are 50 to 75% more likely to be NPD.
Which must mean women are 25 to 50% likely.

It wouldn't make any difference in practice, would it?
I can't see any confusion between autism and Narcissism, autistics lack empathy, they have no knowledge they are hurting someone's feelings by contrast Narcissists/Bullies do know they are hurting feelings, that's the intention, it's all about control. A typical tactic of narcissists is cold shouldering, silent treatment, this could never be misunderstood as them lacking empathy, could possibly assume they actually have better understanding of emotions than most people.