Narcisism!

poet123

It is important to distinguish between those who have narcissistic personality traits and those suffering from narcissistic personality disorder. Having some of the former does not mean you have the latter.

ETA less than 1% of us have this disorder, and the vast majority are men.

Own_My_Own

I know my mother is an alcoholic, narcissistic, self centred woman. I don't need anyone to tell me this, confirm this, or even tell me I could be wrong.
She's my mother. I know what she is. I have the scars both physical and mental to prove it.

She doesn't see it and can't understand why I have nothing to do with her. But again that's her problem not mine.

melanzana

Just to lighten the mood, and NOT to pigeonhole anyone really....

I was listening to a podcast late last night, it was about stress, counselling, and etc.

The presenter was IMV, getting a bit fed up of the jargon from the psychs on board, and posed the Q....

Should we Beware a psychologist, psychiatrist, counsellor?

Do They enter the profession sometimes because they have issues themselves?

There was a humorous enough reply, and everyone laughed.

But it did make me think all the same.

meritaten

you are quite right that you are free to post - and I didn't say you shouldn't.
perhaps I was reading your posts from a different perspective and took some remarks the 'wrong way'. reading further posts I think you have a point. labelling someone as NPD could be a way of washing your hands of any 'blame' or absolving yourself from treating that person as you would any other 'because they obviously have NPD'

However, it can also be a helpful label - once you realise that this is a 'Disorder' it can be easier to deal with. reading back sometimes I come across as a bit 'glib' and uncaring?

you don't know the back story so don't realise this was a long time ago for me - NPD MIL died in the late 1990s!
she was an extremely difficult person to deal with - she was what I call a 'passive narcissist'. she would stick the knife in behind your back, belittle you with a little smirk in front of family and friends, in such a way that if you objected you looked like a horrible person. she was 'Poor Agnes' to almost everyone who knew her - except those who knew her best. she caused more trouble than anyone I know and almost always came out of it smelling like a rose!
The thread was carrying on from another too - in which most of the above was discussed. (not my thread but someone elses) and many people said how suddenly the penny dropped about other peoples behaviours.
Reading back over THIS one when its taken in isolation I can see how people may think it can be quite brutal on times - but many of those who posted had previously posted their stories before - and some of those were heartbreaking.

oh and my diagnosis of MILs NPD? I was studying for my honours degree in psychology at the time and realised her behaviour was 'out of the norm' so researched it. over the years and many discussions with OH and my Bro and Sis in laws we all agreed that she was extremely Narcissistic.

meritaten

melanzana wrote: »

Just to lighten the mood, and NOT to pigeonhole anyone really....

I was listening to a podcast late last night, it was about stress, counselling, and etc.

The presenter was IMV, getting a bit fed up of the jargon from the psychs on board, and posed the Q....

Should we Beware a psychologist, psychiatrist, counsellor?

Do They enter the profession sometimes because they have issues themselves?

There was a humorous enough reply, and everyone laughed.

But it did make me think all the same.

and to answer this - I started studying psychology because my sons behaviour was not 'normal'. I became fascinated with aberrant behaviour. Trouble was,that I became 'disenchanted' with psychology - so many theories so many 'idiots'! I did my degree and went back to the real world - however I did find it valuable when doing counselling courses - I could outjargon even the tutors!lol

poet123

melanzana wrote: »

Just to lighten the mood, and NOT to pigeonhole anyone really....

I was listening to a podcast late last night, it was about stress, counselling, and etc.

The presenter was IMV, getting a bit fed up of the jargon from the psychs on board, and posed the Q....

Should we Beware a psychologist, psychiatrist, counsellor?

Do They enter the profession sometimes because they have issues themselves?

There was a humorous enough reply, and everyone laughed.

But it did make me think all the same.

I think this is a truism.

I wouldn't have taken further quals because almost without exception, those on the courses had deep seated issues which lead them to that point. I did it because I need to have some of the skills for my day job, and my employers required it, but I often think that it can do more harm than good and re ignite old, previously dormant, issues.

lostinrates

poet123 wrote: »

I think this is a truism.

I wouldn't have taken further quals because almost without exception, those on the courses had deep seated issues which lead them to that point. I did it because I need to have some of the skills for my day job, and my employers required it, but I often think that it can do more harm than good and re ignite old, previously dormant, issues.

Goodness, that has been my personal experience. Very much so.

I started a thread recently hoping someone like you might see it really. .

melanzana

lostinrates wrote: »

Goodness, that has been my personal experience. Very much so.

I started a thread recently hoping someone like you might see it really. .

Hi. Could you link that thread please, thanks.

My friend lost her son last year at age 25 tragically.

Has been in bereavement counselling for 6 months, and found out her counsellor lost her daughter to cancer at 24 years 10 years ago. Only came out two weeks ago. The counsellor told her.

This was not a good development for friend. Friend feels she now has to sympathise. Doesn't want to. Her sons death is her grief.

Now I have no doubt that empathy is imperative on the part of thr counsellor, But.... Do you see what I mean?

meritaten

it was bad judgement on the part of the counsellor to tell your friend about her own loss.
BUT - in some circumstances it is very helpful. I used to work for a cancer charity and all Therapists (I was actually the Reiki Therapist) were required to take counselling qualifications.
TBH - most if not all clients were aware that nearly all the 'volunteers', be they Counsellors or Therapists had lost family members to cancer.
but, I do not think its particularly helpful to 'share the grief'. that isn't what a counsellor is for. The focus is ALWAYS on the client. we weren't told not to tell clients - but I didn't feel it was encouraged.

poet123

I think it very much depends on the client, the stage they are at and your gut feel as a counsellor as to how such revelations will be received . If in doubt.....don't.

Bereavement counselling in particular, attracts those who have been bereaved "outside the norm" that is, those who have lost children, lost spouses young, lost relatives to suicide etc. They feel empathy and want to try to help others in that situation.

Many, many, drop out during training, they find that their emotions on the subject are still too close to the surface and recognise that it would not be helpful to clients to be exposed to that in their time of vulnerability. Others do not have this self awareness or suppress it. They can, imo, do more harm than good in some instances.