Narcisism!

andygb

poet123 wrote: »

I am not qualified to diagnose and if I was it would be via the correct medium. There is strict criteria for use by diagnosticians and all of it must be met (and other mh issues ruled out) before a diagnosis is given.

It is not my opinion that more men have it than women, it is a fact.

My overall point is that it affects 1% or less of the population......are their relatives all on MSE?;)

Thanks for sitting on the fence, what more should we really expect from someone who tells us that they are a counsellor:(

I would say with some confidence, that NOBODY knows how many people have NPD, or indeed the percentage difference between male and female, because a person with NPD is highly unlikely to ever seek help for it, and will not let others suggest that they need help for anything.

That little at the end is totally uncalled for IMO, because there are people discussing a very serious issue, which in some cases has affected them greatly.

poet123

andygb wrote: »

Thanks for sitting on the fence, what more should we really expect from someone who tells us that they are a counsellor:(

I would say with some confidence, that NOBODY knows how many people have NPD, or indeed the percentage difference between male and female, because a person with NPD is highly unlikely to ever seek help for it, and will not let others suggest that they need help for anything.

That little at the end is totally uncalled for IMO, because there are people discussing a very serious issue, which in some cases has affected them greatly.

You are taking what I said out of context. My meaning was that it is documented by peer reviewed studies, therefore, it is factual, ditto the ratio of men to women.

Entirely up to you whether you believe it or not but the links are on the thread.

As for the icon, lighten up, most serious things are subject to humour, and the humour wasn't about the disorder per se but the amateur diagnosis that surrounds it.

Nor did I say was was a counsellor per se, I said I had had counselling training and qualifications, there is a subtle distinction.

Regardless, you seem to have read into and attributed to me things which are not there. Food for thought perhaps?

Dunroamin

Vicky123 wrote: »

It wouldn't make any difference in practice, would it?
I can't see any confusion between autism and Narcissism, autistics lack empathy, they have no knowledge they are hurting someone's feelings by contrast Narcissists/Bullies do know they are hurting feelings, that's the intention, it's all about control. A typical tactic of narcissists is cold shouldering, silent treatment, this could never be misunderstood as them lacking empathy, could possibly assume they actually have better understanding of emotions than most people.

And yet most of the websites give "lack of empathy" as one of the characteristics of the condition.

http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/narcissistic.html
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Personality-disorder/Pages/Symptoms.aspx

Dunroamin

andygb wrote: »

Thanks for sitting on the fence, what more should we really expect from someone who tells us that they are a counsellor:(

I would say with some confidence, that NOBODY knows how many people have NPD, or indeed the percentage difference between male and female, because a person with NPD is highly unlikely to ever seek help for it, and will not let others suggest that they need help for anything.

That little at the end is totally uncalled for IMO, because there are people discussing a very serious issue, which in some cases has affected them greatly.

If there are really that many people with NPD, doesn't it actually mean that these traits are just, well ...normal?

lostinrates

I think it would be a shame and somewhat ironic, if disagreement leads to such tremendous discord, rather than discussion and development and certainly not personal attack on each other frankly.

poet123

Dunroamin wrote: »

And yet most of the websites give "lack of empathy" as one of the characteristics of the condition.

http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/narcissistic.html
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Personality-disorder/Pages/Symptoms.aspx

It is one of the nine criteria used in diagnosis.

Dunroamin

poet123 wrote: »

It is one of the nine criteria used in diagnosis.

Which is what I thought.

Seems to be a fair bit of pick 'n mix thinking going on.

andygb

lostinrates wrote: »

I think it would be a shame and somewhat ironic, if disagreement leads to such tremendous discord, rather than discussion and development and certainly not personal attack on each other frankly.

I have (judging by the people who have thanked you) simply become frustrated by a person who seems to have some expertise at counselling, yet refuses to answer a simple request.
The person in question semi (or maybe fully) tried to ridicule my suggestion, that I had first heard of NPD about a year ago - on here, then did further research because it rang so many alarm bells with me, and came to a fairly logical conclusion that my sister has NPD. It is not just myself, but three other people who I know very well, who used to be very friendly with the person in question.
You and Poet123 in particular, seem to have a "problem" with anyone who thinks that they may know someone with NPD, because it may not fit in with the demographic of that disorder in the UK.
However, 1% of the current UK population comes to something like 600,000 people who may have the disorder (already a pretty large number, as my sister is probably the only person I have ever come across who possibly fits the bill), something which I would contest, because someone with NPD is very unlikely to be seen by a specialist.

Maybe this thread should be called - "People who do not really have Narcissistic Personality Disorder - do you know any?"

Meanwhile I will be quite glad to receive input from people who have had real life experiences dealing with individuals who have NPD, rather than have people who do not know me or my relations attempt a diagnosis.

andygb

OK, here is how I stand with Narcissism or NPD.
For 46 years( I am 55) thereabouts, I have had to put up with my sister's cranky behaviour, watching it get worse, particularly since I got married 21 years ago.
Let us assume that she does not have NPD - to be honest, I wish I had never heard of the bl00dy thing now, what is wrong with her?
Is she autistic - something which I believe my mother was concerned about when she was around 9 or 10 (I was just starting secondary school).
Whatever it is, it is a very complex thing.
Maybe she is just a sociophobe, or phsycotic, a little bit schizo?

lostinrates

andygb wrote: »

I have (judging by the people who have thanked you) simply become frustrated by a person who seems to have some expertise at counselling, yet refuses to answer a simple request.
The person in question semi (or maybe fully) tried to ridicule my suggestion, that I had first heard of NPD about a year ago - on here, then did further research because it rang so many alarm bells with me, and came to a fairly logical conclusion that my sister has NPD. It is not just myself, but three other people who I know very well, who used to be very friendly with the person in question.
You and Poet123 in particular, seem to have a "problem" with anyone who thinks that they may know someone with NPD, because it may not fit in with the demographic of that disorder in the UK.
However, 1% of the current UK population comes to something like 600,000 people who may have the disorder (already a pretty large number, as my sister is probably the only person I have ever come across who possibly fits the bill), something which I would contest, because someone with NPD is very unlikely to be seen by a specialist.

Maybe this thread should be called - "People who do not really have Narcissistic Personality Disorder - do you know any?"

Meanwhile I will be quite glad to receive input from people who have had real life experiences dealing with individuals who have NPD, rather than have people who do not know me or my relations attempt a diagnosis.

Andy, please do not presume how I feel or what I think for me, though I fully accept your right to draw your conclusions for yourself.

I have been open and honest as to my interest in the subject, (from the very beginning) that has not changed. I simply do NOT agree with all of the content of it and find some of it quote concerning.

I thanked people out of relief that others seemed to feel the way I did, I stand by those thanks, you also might not I have not thanked all posts. I am NOT responsible for who thanks mine.

I find the idea that anyone should diagnose someone they don't know on a forum as you are trying to push poet to do frightful tbh, the dentists on mse, for example, who are very helpful, would not do so on a specific problem or person, they just wouldn't do it, why would someone who says she is not qualified be expected to? Its unethical and irresponsible. Anyone professional who did it would, as I understand it, be wrong to do so. Anyone not professional would be unqualified to, so they would be doubly wrong.

You last line says that peoe who do not know you and your relatives....I agree with you, most strongly, so why would you be pushing someone to try and do that then seek to discredit them when they do not?

Even if all that were not the case it is against forum rules to give medical advice. If people here, (and IMO its statistically likely on the figures others have discussed some do suffer from narcisistic issues.... Who those are I wouldn't have a clue, ) it is against forum rules to give medical advise. If this is a mental health issues and it could impact on people in this thread (or so done they are posting about) then it would be against forum rules.