Narcisism!

meritaten

if the forum team felt that this contravenes their rules on giving medical advice - then I am quite sure it would have 'disappeared' a long time ago.
This thread, and the others, were set up so that people could 'discuss' the issues of living with a narcissist. whether its a 'laymans' diagnosis or by the medical profession.

yes, we may say 'oh that sounds like it could be narcissism'. but, very very few people have ever come on the thread seeking a diagnosis. most people say they want advice on DEALING with it.

I have read all the recent posts with interest, yes, some valid points have been made but at other times I have ground my teeth and sat on my hands to stop myself posting! It seems that some people are missing the point that this thread is carried on from another!

But frankly, if this thread breaks the rules then so do other very valuable and helpful threads, eg. Autism and Aspergers - they would have to go to - as people often post actively seeking confirmation of their own diagnosis of Autism.
I feel that this thread has been 'singled' out and derided for just trying to help people in the same way that other threads have done.
I am quite honestly in two minds about asking for it to be deleted! I also cannot help feeling that this is, in some way, a personal attack on myself -as recently, I cannot start a thread without it descending into mayhem.

poet123

andygb wrote: »

I have (judging by the people who have thanked you) simply become frustrated by a person who seems to have some expertise at counselling, yet refuses to answer a simple request..

I have explained to you quite clearly that I am not qualified to diagnose NPD despite any qualifications I may have in a related field. I am not quite sure what else you want me to say?

andygb wrote: »

The person in question semi (or maybe fully) tried to ridicule my suggestion, that I had first heard of NPD about a year ago - on here, then did further research because it rang so many alarm bells with me, and came to a fairly logical conclusion that my sister has NPD.

Like me, you are not qualified to reach such a conclusion however "logical" it may seem to you. I have re read your threads which touch on the subject as from memory I recalled one about your sister and your father and tbh I don't think that you are impartial enough to diagnose her or anyone else. .

andygb wrote: »

It is not just myself, but three other people who I know very well, who used to be very friendly with the person in question.
You and Poet123 in particular, seem to have a "problem" with anyone who thinks that they may know someone with NPD, because it may not fit in with the demographic of that disorder in the UK.
However, 1% of the current UK population comes to something like 600,000 people who may have the disorder (already a pretty large number, as my sister is probably the only person I have ever come across who possibly fits the bill), something which I would contest, because someone with NPD is very unlikely to be seen by a specialist. .

They are not my stats and it is your prerogative to disagree with them.

andygb wrote: »

Maybe this thread should be called - "People who do not really have Narcissistic Personality Disorder - do you know any?".

Or maybe it should be called, I have a very difficult relative could they have NPD or could it just be normal traits?

andygb wrote: »

Meanwhile I will be quite glad to receive input from people who have had real life experiences dealing with individuals who have NPD, rather than have people who do not know me or my relations attempt a diagnosis.

People who have had experiences with medically diagnosed NPD or will anyone who wishes to confer the diagnosis themselves do? I suspect the latter.;)

lostinrates

meritaten wrote: »

if the forum team felt that this contravenes their rules on giving medical advice - then I am quite sure it would have 'disappeared' a long time ago.
This thread, and the others, were set up so that people could 'discuss' the issues of living with a narcissist. whether its a 'laymans' diagnosis or by the medical profession.

yes, we may say 'oh that sounds like it could be narcissism'. but, very very few people have ever come on the thread seeking a diagnosis. most people say they want advice on DEALING with it.

I have read all the recent posts with interest, yes, some valid points have been made but at other times I have ground my teeth and sat on my hands to stop myself posting! It seems that some people are missing the point that this thread is carried on from another!

But frankly, if this thread breaks the rules then so do other very valuable and helpful threads, eg. Autism and Aspergers - they would have to go to - as people often post actively seeking confirmation of their own diagnosis of Autism.
I feel that this thread has been 'singled' out and derided for just trying to help people in the same way that other threads have done.
I am quite honestly in two minds about asking for it to be deleted! I also cannot help feeling that this is, in some way, a personal attack on myself -as recently, I cannot start a thread without it descending into mayhem.

Do you think it would cross the rules if someone attempted to give a diagnosis? I do, fwiw.

Merit, I cannot speak for anyone else, but I am directing nothing personally at any individual at all, but more with a concern for a trend I see here (and in real life) and I absolutely see the benefit of a thread dealing with people who behave narcissistically. Or even for those tackling it on themselves. As some of the links have suggested, its something most people face, a bit of nascististic behaviour every now and again

missprice

meritaten wrote: »

This thread, and the others, were set up so that people could 'discuss' the issues of living with a narcissist. whether its a 'laymans' diagnosis or by the medical profession.

yes, we may say 'oh that sounds like it could be narcissism'. but, very very few people have ever come on the thread seeking a diagnosis. most people say they want advice on DEALING with it.

I am quite honestly in two minds about asking for it to be deleted! I also cannot help feeling that this is, in some way, a personal attack on myself -as recently, I cannot start a thread without it descending into mayhem.

Please don't ask for deletion as its another of the useful threads on NPD
I have been trying to say it matters not what the label is, we could rename this thread (text removed by MSE Forum Team) syndrome and still the same way of dealing with it would work.

But that's not to say debate should not happen.
Although having asked this before I would love an answer to what way will bully/NPD be treated differently depending on the actual label/diagnosis.

Vicky123

Dunroamin wrote: »

Which is what I thought.

Seems to be a fair bit of pick 'n mix thinking going on.

Not really, when you know autism well and have lived with it you know what lack of empathy means rather than "appearing" to have a lack of empathy. It is considered one of the character traits of narcissism as it is in autism but one totally doesn't understand anothers feelings and the other very clearly does, the narcissist doesn't show empathy the autistic doesn't have it, perhaps further reading would benefit those who are interested in this condition rather than posting links to tick boxes which would require further assessment of an individual. I really do despair of the number of people who group personality disorders which usually involve intent in with autism which doesn't, simply because they don't have the personal experience of either, and then pour scorn on people who live every minute of every day with these issues because they are not trained in an official capacity in mental health.

Dunroamin

Vicky123 wrote: »

Not really, when you know autism well and have lived with it you know what lack of empathy means rather than "appearing" to have a lack of empathy. It is considered one of the character traits of narcissism as it is in autism but one totally doesn't understand anothers feelings and the other very clearly does, the narcissist doesn't show empathy the autistic doesn't have it, perhaps further reading would benefit those who are interested in this condition rather than posting links to tick boxes which would require further assessment of an individual. I really do despair of the number of people who group personality disorders which usually involve intent in with autism which doesn't, simply because they don't have the personal experience of either, and then pour scorn on people who live every minute of every day with these issues because they are not trained in an official capacity in mental health.

You surely aren't saying that people choose to have personality disorders, are you?

Own_My_Own

Dunroamin wrote: »

You surely aren't saying that people choose to have personality disorders, are you?

You know full well that wasn't want was meant. You are just twisting words to make your point.

An autistic person doesn't realise their actions may cause harm, a narcissistic knows it will cause harm but doesn't care.

meritaten

This is the only reason I have not already asked for deletion of this thread.

but there is debate and there is derision of a thread - and frankly I feel some people came on here with an agenda. They will not deviate from their own viewpoint, they do not accept others points of view, they are completely intransigent! they do not seem to realise they are upsetting people, just set on putting their own views across, is it sounding familiar?????????????????????

Dunroamin

meritaten wrote: »

This is the only reason I have not already asked for deletion of this thread.

but there is debate and there is derision of a thread - and frankly I feel some people came on here with an agenda. They will not deviate from their own viewpoint, they do not accept others points of view, they are completely intransigent! sounding familiar?????????????????????

It does indeed sound familiar M ......... from you.

People are discussing and nobody's deriding - they just happen to be putting forward alternative viewpoints to yours.

Person_one

meritaten wrote: »

This is the only reason I have not already asked for deletion of this thread.

but there is debate and there is derision of a thread - and frankly I feel some people came on here with an agenda. They will not deviate from their own viewpoint, they do not accept others points of view, they are completely intransigent! sounding familiar?????????????????????

Are you suggesting what I think you are?

Mental illnesses and personality disorders are a pretty big deal for the people who really have them and their families and loved ones.

I find it pretty offensive when the labels are thrown around as mere insults for people who disagree with you or who you just don't really like.

Diagnoses are best left to doctors.