Narcisism!

meritaten

Dunroamin wrote: »

It does indeed sound familiar M ......... from you.

People are discussing and nobody's deriding - they just happen to be putting forward alternative viewpoints to yours.

But, I have acknowledged that valid points have been made. I take those on board.
I am getting tired of saying that this is a very old thread - that it followed on from another thread. some posts sound hard or weird taken in isolation. NOBODY seems to have acknowledged that! its as if this a fresh new thread and people have piled it to rubbish it!
I cant help feeling this wouldn't happen in, say, Aspergers thread - one or two people have decided this thread is contravening the rules on here.
Fine - go and complain to the forum team - because quite frankly I couldn't give a Sh*t right now if it gets deleted!

Dunroamin

meritaten wrote: »

But, I have acknowledged that valid points have been made. I take those on board.
I am getting tired of saying that this is a very old thread - that it followed on from another thread. some posts sound hard or weird taken in isolation. NOBODY seems to have acknowledged that! its as if this a fresh new thread and people have piled it to rubbish it!
I cant help feeling this wouldn't happen in, say, Aspergers thread - one or two people have decided this thread is contravening the rules on here.
Fine - go and complain to the forum team - because quite frankly I couldn't give a Sh*t right now if it gets deleted!

The only person who's suggested contacting the forum team or asking for the thread to be deleted is you!

Vicky123

Dunroamin wrote: »

You surely aren't saying that people choose to have personality disorders, are you?

No, what I'm saying is autism behaviour can involve actions that are hurtful where no hurt is intended, narcissists intend to hurt, if they didn't then it wouldn't be narcissistic behaviour.
I believe it's cognitive empathy as opposed to emotional empathy.
I hope that clears my post up for you as obviously no one would choose to have a personality disorder and Narcissists in particular would claim they do not have one, which is why many victims would use the internet to validate their own feelings.

Person_one

Vicky123 wrote: »

No, what I'm saying is autism behaviour can involve actions that are hurtful where no hurt is intended, narcissists intend to hurt, if they didn't then it wouldn't be narcissistic behaviour.

If we're talking about true NPD, then surely hurting others isn't the goal, rather its just a by-product of getting the outcome they want, and behaving in the way that they want regardless.

Bublin1

Person_one wrote: »

If we're talking about true NPD, then surely hurting others isn't the goal, rather its just a by-product of getting the outcome they want, and behaving in the way that they want regardless.

Mmmm try telling that to one of their victims when they are being subjected to a narcissistic rage - the only outcome is complete and utter despair and Ns know this - they just don't care.

eta - you feeling bad is exactly what they want. An emotional vampire desires those negative emotions from it's victim, since they have none of their own - negative or positive, happy or sad. They are dead inside.

If it wasn't for the internet I fear my children would be motherless right now. I was at the brink, thought i was going crazy. The knowledge i gained from forums and blogs gave me strength to get a hold of myself, understand the beast i was dealing with and leave.

Person_one

Bublin1 wrote: »

Mmmm try telling that to one of their victims when they are being subjected to a narcissistic rage - the only outcome is complete and utter despair and Ns know this - they just don't care.

Right, well, exactly.

Somebody who actually delighted in hurting others, and was motivated by that, would be a sadist, not a narcissist.

meritaten

Person_one wrote: »

Right, well, exactly.

Somebody who actually delighted in hurting others, and was motivated by that, would be a sadist, not a narcissist.

and you are qualified to say that? you are a student nurse aren't you?

and you are entitled to that opinion!

and that is what this and previous threads are about! peoples opinions about others they have had to cope with.

Person_one

meritaten wrote: »

and you are qualified to say that? you are a student nurse aren't you?

and you are entitled to that opinion!

and that is what this and previous threads are about! peoples opinions about others they have had to cope with.

Eh? Qualified?

I'm not the one making armchair diagnoses here, these are just words, you can find them in the dictionary.

meritaten

Person_one wrote: »

Right, well, exactly.

Somebody who actually delighted in hurting others, and was motivated by that, would be a sadist, not a narcissist.

and this isn't a 'diagnosis'? its pretty definite isn't it?

atrixblue.-MFR-.

Person_one wrote: »

Eh? Qualified?

I'm not the one making armchair diagnoses here, these are just words, you can find them in the dictionary.

meri was pointing out the distinction between having an opinion and making a diagnosis being a qualified to do so or not, making a diagnosis and opinion are worlds apart but others here seem to think they run together or are the same in this thread.

meri isn't making no armchair diagnosis either from what I have read in the thread.