heartbroken

System

Sorry you're going through such a hard time at the minute. My ex and i split on similar terms (he loved me, he just wasn't in love with me if that makes sense). I was devastated at the time and thought my world had ended. But (and this is where we probably differ) looking back i saw that we'd be growing apart for a while and that we were much better off as friends. At first i was unsure about being single (i hated teh idea of being o my own if i'm honest) but it gave me a new found freedom. Once i'd have my time to "grieve" the loss we got back in contact and to this day we're still best friends. That doesn't happen with everyone sadly, but it can happen sometimes.

You're going to be hurting a lot right now, but take it a day at a time and allow yourself time to heal, and at some point things will start to seem better for you.

Sending virtual *hugs*

sennheiser

euronorris wrote: »

I don't know. The only reason cheating is suggested is because cheaters so often use the 'i'm not sure about us' lie, rather than be honest.

It's a shame, as I am sure there are some people who are genuinely unsure and haven't cheated, but the chance is higher that they have.

What?! Most people who break up because they are not sure of relationship have cheated? I really don't think that is the case. People change, people get bored of each other, people want different things, those are the reasons.

coin_operated_girl

I don't think he is a loser, he is one of the most amazing people i have ever met. Maybe one day i'll go through the hating stage, i don't know, ive never done this before.

I too think that if i met him a couple of years later things would be different between us. It really hurts to think like that, but neither of us could have know how things would end up.

I guess thinking about it, it was kinda bad of him to ask me about whether i would ever take him back in like a years time. In all honesty i dont think i would. Next month? maybe. Next year? doubt it. I don't think he meant anything bad by it or to be disrespectful though. He is just as hurt and as confused as i am and i think he just wanted to know whether it would be ok to ever contact me again (originally i said i wanted to forget he ever existed, but once it sunk in a bit i realised that wasn't true).

I know its waaaaay too early to start thinking about this, but i don't know how people can start another relationship, right now i feel like i would be too scared to try again, this hurts too much. All i want to do is curl up and die. I know that probably sounds like i am being over dramatic. If im honest, the only thing that is stopping me from doing something is because i love him too much and i cant put that on his shoulders for the rest of his life. A few years ago i tried to kill myself and i saw what that did to him, so i cant imagine what it would be like if i succeeded. My biggest regret is hurting him like that.

I just want to say thanks again to everyone commenting. Im yet to speak to anyone in real life about this (sent a quick email to my family and a text to a friend), but everyone is busy at work and stuff right now, so this is really helping me.

LEJC

Take each day as is comes...some will be good and some will be bad...but eventually one day you will feel ready to move on

Lotus-eater

LEJC wrote: »

Take each day as is comes...some will be good and some will be bad...but eventually one day you will feel ready to move on

^
That

It's like everything that hurts, you always think it will never get better, but it always does.

VestanPance

I hope things work out for you. I got the same line from my ex-wife a few years ago, and it caught me completely off gaurd.

A few years on and I'm unhappy with were I am now. I was happier with her, but I could no longer trust her and wouldn't have her back. We cut all contact and no longer speak. Couldn't even tell you where she lives now.

I'd love to say it always get better/easier, but that's not been my exeperience. I think I'm the unhappiest that I've ever been with life.

GlasweJen

OP the exact same thing happened to me last summer and it turned out he'd been cheating.

Lotus-eater

VestanPance wrote: »

I hope things work out for you. I got the same line from my ex-wife a few years ago, and it caught me completely off gaurd.

A few years on and I'm unhappy with were I am now. I was happier with her, but I could no longer trust her and wouldn't have her back. We cut all contact and no longer speak. Couldn't even tell you where she lives now.

I'd love to say it always get better/easier, but that's not been my exeperience. I think I'm the unhappiest that I've ever been with life.

So you wouldn't have her back? Time to move on then, in your head and in your body.
Go to see your GP and see what they say, you sound like you may be depressed. If you can't move on by yourself, you need help.

ashaput

to me it seems like he is trying to hide something from you. I don't know what happens but if I were you I would have a talk with him. Not try to investigate him, just share each other what you both feel.

coin_operated_girl

I can't sleep. I haven't slept properly since Sat night.

I messaged a friend on facebook to see if he would meet up, he replied to me and when i went to open it a list of my other conversations came up and i saw that my ex has changed his profile pic. For the first time since he has had facebook its a picture of him. Looks like hes in a pub. Looking happy. Now i dont know what to think. Is he really over me already? Did he go out with his friends last night rather than spending the evening crying like i did? Maybe the pic wasnt from last night, could have been taken last week. Is it just an attempt to change small things in his life like i have already started to do? I am now seriously beginning to wonder whether something else is going on. I know it sounds stupid, its just a profile picture, but this has really upset me. I have been good so far and not thought about looking at his facebook profile (i deleted him as a friend) or contacting him or anything, i saw this by accident. I really want to message him to ask him. I feel i deserve the truth, i think it would help me move on. Or should i just leave it? I dont know what to do and i cant think clearly due to lack of sleep. I go to sleep and then wake up after what feels like hours but really has only been like 30 mins.