heartbroken

Lotus-eater

coin_operated_girl wrote: »

I must admit i'm not in a great place right now either, i feel pretty alone and everything seems so daunting. I'm just about managing to hold it together though.

Hey, you're over the worst now, don't get down in the dumps. Every time you think about it, positively try to forget it by instantly doing something else.
Come on, chin up love, smile and think of all the things you have done that have got positive results!

coin_operated_girl

Thanks I feel a little better now. I'm not down because i want to be with my ex, i'm just down because i feel a bit lonely and a bit lost. Its also depressing applying for jobs which i know i haven't got much chance of getting them due to lack of experience and being out of work for a while. I'm currently applying for pretty much everything do to with mental health (which is the field i want to work in) and also just things like shop work. I used to work in a shop when i was 16 so i hate thinking that i've effectively not progressed in my career at all, but i guess i cant help that. I got ill right at the end of uni so i went straight from education to not working. Its also my first weekend alone since we broke up as the guy i am seeing and my house mate have both gone away (not together! lol) so i think things are just getting on top of me a bit at the moment. I'll be ok though i need a quite weekend to catch up on some open uni work and apply for more jobs anyway.

Elle7

I feel the same...I can't even get a response from anywhere I want to volunteer. I keep phoning and emailing, but never hear back. It's quite demotivating...I feel very isolated.

It doesn't help that I've got kidney stones and a probable infection, so I'm on antibiotics. I'm supposed to be going to a theme park this weekend, too - I'd been really looking forward to it because I haven't been anywhere so far this year. I don't know if I'll manage...even just going into town to get my prescription felt like it was going to kill me.

I think people see being ill as something which qualifies you for benefits...I don't think many people think about those of us who are desperate to do something but just don't ever get given a chance. Prrfft.

coin_operated_girl

Elle7 wrote: »

I feel the same...I can't even get a response from anywhere I want to volunteer. I keep phoning and emailing, but never hear back. It's quite demotivating...I feel very isolated.

It doesn't help that I've got kidney stones and a probable infection, so I'm on antibiotics. I'm supposed to be going to a theme park this weekend, too - I'd been really looking forward to it because I haven't been anywhere so far this year. I don't know if I'll manage...even just going into town to get my prescription felt like it was going to kill me.

I think people see being ill as something which qualifies you for benefits...I don't think many people think about those of us who are desperate to do something but just don't ever get given a chance. Prrfft.

I completely agree with this. I'm willing to bet that 99% of people who are genuinely on benefits due to poor health would give anything to have a normal life and have a normal job.

Its knocks you back a bit when you don't even hear from places you apply to doesn't it. Don't take it personally though and keep trying

The kidney stones must be so painful. I had a bladder infection a few months ago and it absolutely killed so i can only imagine how much pain you are in right now I hope you feel better soon.

coin_operated_girl

So my ex responded to my email today. He apologised for not getting back to me sooner, he just wasn't ready. Amongst other things he said that he is seeing someone now. I feel really weird. I wasn't expecting it at all. I really thought he would be on his own for quite some time- i don't mean that in a horrible way, hes just kinda quiet and likes to spend a lot of time on his computer...i guess he can be a bit of a loner, so im really surprised he has met someone so soon. He said that it has nothing to do with our breakup and he didn't want to get into another relationship for at least a year, but things just didn't work out like that and that it just kinda came out of nowhere. He said he was just telling me this in case i was still holding out hope that he would come back. I think that is the reason why he told me, because he didn't say it in a horrible "oooh look at me, i've moved on already" way.

I don't really know how i feel. I haven't cried over it but i feel a bit like i have been punched in the stomach. Its almost like i don't really care but at the same time i dont want to think about him being with someone else.

Its strange how we have both seemingly moved on so quickly. I still want to be friends with him and he said he wants to be friends with me too, but not yet as its too soon. He said he would like to keep in contact in about 6 months if we are both ok- which is exactly what i said to my house mate the other day. I'm beginning to think that maybe we weren't in love with each other as much as we thought. We definitely did love each other and i know he thought i was "the one" and i thought he was too, but i guess not- maybe that is why we have both been able to move on. I feel like i still love him like a best friend, but i'm not in love with him.

coin_operated_girl

This has been playing on my mind all day. I feel really gutted. I know i have no right to feel like that because i am seeing someone too, it was just so unexpected. I didn't expect him to sit around moping over me or anything but i guess its just a bit of a shock because i was his first ever gf (he was 19 when we got together) so hes not really that experienced with girls and i know he never looked at anyone else when we were together (just like i didn't either), so i guess i just thought that he only had eyes for me and no one else. Its stupid because i know we have split up so he has every right to see someone else now (im not angry or anything) but i guess its just weird thinking of him fancying/being with someone else, when up until recently i was the only one.

I think the other thing that surprised me was that because of the age we got together and then how long we were together for i thought maybe part of the reason he left me was because he just wanted to be free and single for a while before looking to be tied down again. That made things a bit easier because it was something that i couldn't help- if you see what i mean. I guess i was wrong on that though. He also used to say to me sometimes that he thinks he isn't very good at being in a relationship because he likes to spend a lot of time on his own (hes a gamer), so i thought he would be relishing at the opportunity to be able to spend as much time as he likes on his computer.

I am probably coming across as hypocritical and a bit of a biatch- i certainly feel like it anyway. I don't mean to be. I told my mum and a friend that he is seeing someone and they were both very surprised too- i think for the reasons i said above and just because he can be a bit quiet and its not like he is the type of guy that has women falling at his feet (don't get me wrong, i'm no catch either!). I suppose its also the realisation that it really is well and truly over. Even though i decided a couple of weeks ago that i wouldn't take him back if he ever asked, i guess now its real. Everything feels so surreal.

I genuinely hope he is happy though.

System

Its always a shock hun.

A few weeks ago i saw my ex kissing someone else, i was drunk and i ended up throwing my drink over them and storming out..

I'm just about ok with it now, but its taken a while. Its hard because deep down i still love him, but i know he doesn't feel the same way about me so there's no point in me thinking about it.

I've signed myself up to a few dating sites but am not putting too much on meeting anyone, i don't feel ready yet.

Lotus-eater

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

I've signed myself up to a few dating sites but am not putting too much on meeting anyone, i don't feel ready yet.

If you put your avatar on there as your main photo, you should get about 50 blokes in 10 minutes. Not one of them worth meeting LOL.


It's really tough, I still get unhappy thinking about my first love kissing the bloke she went out with after I dumped her....... then wanted her back. That was an awfully long time ago too The thoughts you 2 are having are way more normal than the ones I had

coin_operated_girl

Thanks guys.

I guess no one likes to think that the person who once adored you is now off with someone else. In an ideal world none of our exs would ever be with anyone ever again, right?

I just keep thinking how i cant believe we were together for 6 years and just over a month after the breakup he is seeing someone else. How dare he move on so quick! lol. Then i remember i'm in exactly the same place as he is. I haven't totally moved on, but i've moved on enough to think that i would never take him back. Just because i am seeing someone so soon doesn't mean that i've forgotten my ex or that i loved him any less- but of course, because he is seeing someone so soon it definitely means that hes forgotten me already and that i never meant anything to him...i wish i could think rationally sometimes.

Lotus-eater

I think you're forgetting there was a reason you broke up. That reason was almost without doubt that he was in a new place, new friends and new girls to look at. Of course it's going to make him think of different things to do.
I would think one girl made out she fancied him, maybe more than one. He wanted to broaden his horizon, probably the best all round tbh, otherwise it could have happened years later when you were married.

So now he has someone to go out with, sort of fits in with my assumption above?