heartbroken

Percy1983

donner_kebab wrote: »

I have never been on my own ever...before him was a 7 year relationship immediately before and before that (weeks before) was a 2 and a 1/2 year one...scary but probably much needed time alone!

xxx

I do think you really do need some time alone, I had a friend like you and it seemed as soon as single she attached to the nearest best fit rather than be on her own. The problem with this was she was never with the right bloke and would miss the right bloke if he came along as she was always with the nearest nicish bloke she could find.

As you will know there is loads of ideas in this thread as it really does sound like its time to 'find yourself'.

Elle7

Coin Operated Girl - Don't feel bad, your posts are inspiring

I think I'm just going through a rough time. I hope I'll come out the other side stronger.

Your weekend sounds good! He sounds nice Enjoy it, and see where it goes. That's probably the best start to any relationship!

I'm attempting my theory test again later, if I feel well enough to get there. I struggle with hazard perception. Cross your fingers for me, everyone!

E x

vroombroom

I've been following this thread and it reminds me so much of the position I was just over two years ago - our whole office had been made redundant, so I came home (upset obviously) earlier than expected and when I opened the door there was a girl sat on my sofa in my house, OH of four years was making her a cup of tea.

I can't tell you what was said between that time and the time I'd got a train 35 mins later, it's a complete blur. I remember her leaving sharpish and him following me round the house talking as I got some stuff together. I called a taxi, took my two dogs and a small suitcase and got a train three and a half hours to my mums (trains and dogs = not a good idea!!).

I switched my phone off for three days, then hired a car, drove back down, emptied the house off m clothes and personal possessions, put my rabbits on the back seat and drove back to Newcastle. I got a job sorted not long after and moved into a flat.

I had messages on my phone from him and his mum, but I wasnt interested. I changed my number, deleted him off FB and the last contact I had with him was in June last year when our house finally sold.

Now two years on I have a fantastic OH, a lovely house and a beautiful baby. So I guess what I'm trying to say is whilst now feels like you want the ground to swallow you up and you think you can't go on - you can and you will:o time is a great healer - cliche I know, but true.

blue_suzy

its so helpful to read your posts i haven't had any contact with him,i cant think straight. my mortgage company have said they will look at again but im not very hopeful,the solicitor says if i don't get sole name there is nothing i can do but look for another mortgage provider.i cant believe he has left me in such a mess.on the up side i had 5 hours sleep last night and i have been eating bananas, that's all i can stomach at the moment.x

coin_operated_girl

blue_suzy wrote: »

hi i spoke to the mortgage people today to have his name taken off,they have refused because they say i don't earn enough, i wouldn't mind but i pay all the bills anyway.im going to the solicitors tomorrow to see if there is another way around it, he his adamant that he will sign anything.im not going to text him anymore and i don't even have an address for him.i asked his brother by text for his house number so i can send his post and he hasn't replied, so i will take a drive past in the morning.

I dont have any advice about the mortgages and stuff as i know nothing about it, but i think you are probably doing the right thing by avoiding getting back in contact with him. Sounds like a bit of a messy situation

Tete_en_l'Air wrote: »

I had that - he'd made his decision and that was it, no discussion. It was so hurtful - there were two of us in that relationship and yet I had no say whatsoever, horrible.

I feel exactly the same as well. Although we talked about it when i got back from holiday i think it was too late, i think his mind was pretty much made up. A part of me really wishes that we talked about it some more or talked about it earlier but i'm trying to look at it this way: if someone doesn't want to be with you or they fall out of love with you then no amount of talking is going to change that, so unfortunately there is nothing you can do about it That doesn't make it any easier or stop the 'what ifs' though

Elle7 wrote: »

Coin Operated Girl - Don't feel bad, your posts are inspiring

I think I'm just going through a rough time. I hope I'll come out the other side stronger.

Your weekend sounds good! He sounds nice Enjoy it, and see where it goes. That's probably the best start to any relationship!

I'm attempting my theory test again later, if I feel well enough to get there. I struggle with hazard perception. Cross your fingers for me, everyone!

E x

Whatever doesn't kill you will make you stronger

Good luck with the theory test, hope it goes well

fs110

Blimey this thread exploded into life last few days

Originally Posted by Tete en l'Air
I had that - he'd made his decision and that was it, no discussion. It was so hurtful - there were two of us in that relationship and yet I had no say whatsoever, horrible.

Agree with this

Will have a proper read later, hope everyone doing ok today

blue_suzy

hi everyone hope your all OK,stayed the night with my best friend last night had a few drinks and slept like a log.my mind is a bit clearer now and im not crying anymore, just keeping myself busy,im going back to work on Monday need some normality,waiting for a decision from mortgage people fingers crossed, and my sister has said she will join income with me to put a new application in if this fails,hes coming for the rest of his belongings on Sunday morning i asked if we could talk,he says he has about 30 minutes before he has to get off,cant be bothered with him now. sister and daughter made my tea yesterday i didn't eat much but it was the first hot meal in 3 weeks,feel much better today just need to sort my life out.sorry for the long post.

deedee71

You're doing great Blue Suzie - and it's good you have family support. Lean on them till you're feeling stronger, which you are day by day!

candie_gill

Would just like to add for one reason or another some people get the 'seven year itch' which basically is when the lust of the relationship disapears and they begin to panic something is wrong. I did this when i had been with my partner for a while, but for some reason i felt trapped but couldnt be without him. I came to the conclusion that i love him very much, but dont have that excitement anymore- but that whoever i should end up with i would always get to this stage in a relationship as its normal and things do evolve over time. I accepted that although i enjoy the attention from other men on a night out as its nice to know i still have sex appeal.. i wouldnt want to be with anyone else. My partner is my soulmate and i stopped chasing rainbows and the relationship anxiety faded. Many people are under the false illusion that a relationship should be filled with lust and excitement and if not you dont love the other person- but thats just not the case. I think many people go through life chasing rainbows and move on everytime they reach this stage- it must be a very lonely place to be as you could never quite find peace.

I have also been on the receiving end of this previously with an ex and left pregnant and he cut contact- it was a horrible time, i didnt eat or sleep and every waking thought was consumed by him. The best thing you can do is not let them mess you about, refuse to accomodate their insecurities and if you mean anything to them they will realise it

Percy1983

Funnily the 7 year itch was mentioned last night as we are soon approaching 7 years together, as it is we stil can't keep our hands off each other so it might take longer with us, how about a 11 year itch?