Done something really stupid in past - now its coming back to bite me - HELP!

abacus73

bigproblem wrote: »

Whoever said my fiance is the victim here, is 100% correct, he is, but I am too (through my own stupidity admittedly, but I didn't deserve to be stalked like this.

I never lied about where I was going to fiance - I just said out with friends (which is all we would ever say to one another, he says same if hes off out) but yes by omitting the truth, that is almost as bad I no.

Ultimately whether we have a future or not is down to fiance now, but I will do everything I can to put things right, but I will give him some space for a few days.

Are you being serious? You have been meeting up with the guy you cheated on your fiance with, behind his back and you dont think you have been lying to him!

Your fiances reaction, to you telling him that you were doing just that, shows he wouldn't have ever seen it as you out with a friend.

Personally I think you have been playing both these guys and love the attention. Now that you have decided which one to be with suddenly the 'friend only guy' is harrassing you and you are as much a victim of all this mess as your fiance. How convenient.

If all this were as innocent as you make out you would have blocked all contact by now. It doesn't take long to completely cut someone off. Yet this guy is still contacting you by text and you are replying to him.

Sorry your story doesn't ring true with me at all. Doesn't look like your fiance is easily fooled either, poor bloke.

Errata

bigproblem wrote: »

Whoever said my fiance is the victim here, is 100% correct, he is, but I am too (through my own stupidity admittedly, but I didn't deserve to be stalked like this.

I never lied about where I was going to fiance - I just said out with friends (which is all we would ever say to one another, he says same if hes off out) but yes by omitting the truth, that is almost as bad I no.

Ultimately whether we have a future or not is down to fiance now, but I will do everything I can to put things right, but I will give him some space for a few days.

Do you honestly believe that if you'd told your fiance you were still seeing the bloke you'd had an affair with he would have said 'ok, have a nice time'. You lied by default by not telling him the truth.

scooby088

I once had a GF like the OP and she was friends with nearly all her ex's, and couldn't understand why one of her ex's new girlfriends would allow him to meet up with her on his own. She only a few months with me before i kicked her into touch. I am a firm believer in leaving the past where it is unless kids are involved. She eventually cheat on me with one of her ex's.

abacus73

scooby088 wrote: »

I once had a GF like the OP and she was friends with nearly all her ex's, and couldn't understand why one of her ex's new girlfriends would allow him to meet up with her on his own. She only a few months with me before i kicked her into touch. I am a firm believer in leaving the past where it is unless kids are involved. She eventually cheat on me with one of her ex's.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

More like you were once the bf of the OP. It is a very small world you know. Doubt this is the first or last time she has/will treat a bloke like this.

kezzygirl

wow,what a horrible situation.
How stupid were you to carry on being 'friends' expecting nothing to happen?and lying to your partner about being friends with the bloke u were knocking off behind his back previously?

If I was your fiance,i would have done a lot more than thrown my plate.If he returns to you,you should be begging on your hands and knees for his forgiveness.

I cheated on my husband with an old school friend 3yrs ago.Slept with him once and regretted it the min it happened.Told hubby myself,he called me a horrible name and ran upstairs crying.That is the second time in our 8yrs together i have ever seen him cry.

It took a good two years for me to feel that we were 'right' again.i would never have considered being friends with this bloke out of respect for my hubby.what the hell were you thinking?

Hard_up,_not_happy

Blimey OP you are a have my cake and eat it kind of girl aren't you.

Now you seem to be choking on it and are all :eek: 'Woe is me, I am being stalked'.

Yeah right, poor old you!!!

Hope when your fiance went out the door he was wearing a good pair of runners. Dont know about people referring to him as 'poor bloke'. He has had the mother of all lucky escapes.

Harsh but true.

SkintGypsy

What a fine moral compass you are Kezzy. If only all women who cheated on their partners were as respectful as you.

Schwade

I think it is no use judging her now. She already knew what she did was wrong. At least that is a start. Now she is bearing the consequences. At least it happened now and not later. She must keep doing her best and let her fiance decide.

This shouldn't distract from the fact of this stalker is real and she should take precautions for her own safety (despite she did send mixed signals previously but not anymore).

Two separate issues.

kezzygirl

SkintGypsy wrote: »

What a fine moral compass you are Kezzy. If only all women who cheated on their partners were as respectful as you.

I know,the epitomy of morality,me.
It is not down to being a 'moral compass' it is down to the fact that I tore my husbands heart out and spat it at him and vowed at that moment never to do it again...I would never have risked our relationship by still being friends with my 'bit on the side'!

and I am sure that many other men/women would agree that they too would not remain friends with their affair partner.

kezzygirl

Hard_up,_not_happy wrote: »

Blimey OP you are a have my cake and eat it kind of girl aren't you.

Now you seem to be choking on it and are all :eek: 'Woe is me, I am being stalked'.

Yeah right, poor old you!!!

Hope when your fiance went out the door he was wearing a good pair of runners. Dont know about people referring to him as 'poor bloke'. He has had the mother of all lucky escapes.

Harsh but true.

lol love it