Done something really stupid in past - now its coming back to bite me - HELP!

sunshine_1988 · 27 June 2011 at 8:15PM

Def tell your fiancee....it will only play on your mind otherwise. Whatever happens, happens.

Let us know? And good luck.

scooby088 · 27 June 2011 at 8:38PM

There's an old but apt saying here you made your bed now lie in it, so woman up and tell your BF, although i would say that be prepared for more upset. I think also you need to contact the police about this harrassment, change your number, even change the date of the wedding and don't post anything online as he seems to be getting alot of info from the internet. Now I don't want to be critical why would you still want contact with the person you cheated with??
I have tried being just friends with an ex but it just makes any romantic relationship complicated and the less complications the better, in my mind you have betrayed your boyfriend yet again, do you think he'll be prepared to forgive you again???

happy_but_skint · 27 June 2011 at 8:42PM

I think you should tell your fiance and ask him to go to the police with you, I hope it all works out for you x

NickyBat · 28 June 2011 at 6:36AM

How did it go last night?

threemuttleys · 28 June 2011 at 7:11AM

Think if I was your Fiance I would be having a really good think about whether or not you are worthy of marrying.

You cheated, he forgave. So you went for dinner with the guy you cheated on!

mumcoll · 28 June 2011 at 8:05AM

I had a similar experience. After the ex (affair) started stalking me I went to a solicitor, who wrote to him saying if he contacted me or any member of my family, he would be taken to court. It did stop him. I did have to tell my OH though.

ashaput · 28 June 2011 at 8:33AM

To me, this guy is a stalker. But I think you need to know that there are some people who just want to convince themselves that they can't have the things they want to have (hope you can understand what im trying to say here). Because I am that kind of person. I will keep believing on something until I realize there is no chance for me to have it. I just hope this guy would left behind you after a wedding ring on your finger.

bigproblem · 28 June 2011 at 8:59AM

Well I told my fiance, and to say it went badly is a understatement, he wouldn't accept/believe that nothing physical had occurred since affair (which I can't blame him for thinking) called me every name under the sun and threw his dinner plate acrossed the room, then walked out - haven't seen him since and his phones off.

I stupidly told him about this guy being at our gym and now I'm terrified he's going to find his address (as he is close friends with several of the staff at gym) and go round to the guys house (not concerned about the guy, just don't want anyone to get hurt, or fiance get into trouble for doing something silly.)

Can't believe I've messed up this, not sure if fiance will forgive me again, even tho nothing has technically happened I've still betrayed him again and in his mind with the same guy.

As for the other guy, he's still texting (think he's just got several payg sim cards, as he knows I've blocked his normal number.) And when he text last night, I answered him (as was so annoyed and upset - but no I shouldn't have) basically telling him to f off, and that I would go to police if he kept harassing me, and then this morning he text 'good morning sweetheart, sorry if I upset you, I just love u so much' - !!!!!!? He just ignored everything I said!

caledonian_princess · 28 June 2011 at 9:09AM

As rachbc said, change your number, be selective about who you give your new number to and then it won't matter how many PAYG sims he has he won't be able to get in touch via your mobile. I'm not really sure why you haven't already done this tbh.

January20 · 28 June 2011 at 9:12AM

What about changing your number? If you really want him not to get in touch with you? And I think you should really want for him not to be able to talk to you because after your last post I really believe he is a stalker. It happens a lot more than people think and you could really be in danger here eventually so better think about some measures you can take like changing your sim card, your house phone number, even your gym, keep off facebook etc and certainly go to the police to report it and get their advice.