Done something really stupid in past - now its coming back to bite me - HELP!

rumdiddlyum

paddy's_mum wrote: »

I'm not defending the OP's previous actions. I have condemned them. However, once it became clear that she was indeed being stalked and harassed, the time for criticism was over.

I am defending that most of us make/made mistakes during our lives.

However, all that fades into nothing in the face of a criminal intent and/or act. The OP is in danger - still want to goad, sneer, laugh and post this symbol?

If so, you (who can't be bothered to read the "long posts all the way through") should be watching the newspapers, hope that you find nothing which may make you feel shocked, horrified or guilty) and pray that neither you or your nearest and dearest ever make a mistake that brings the wrath and viciousness of an unbalanced man down upon you.

no we dont have much to do with people you see cause we do read the papers and know what nutters are around

maybe if she hadnt led him on after the affair she wouldnt be in this situation

and thanks for wishing something nasty on me and my family that is a really nice thing to do just because i express my opinion and its not "oh no you had an affair and then you carried on supposedly not having an affair seeing the man in question because you love the attention and the drama and then when it turns sour and he gets obbsessed you get scared oh no poor you hope everything turns out great for you because you so deserve a lovely life cause you are a great person"

what goes around comes around :D:D

Pollycat

rumdiddlyum wrote: »

and thanks for wishing something nasty on me and my family that is a really nice thing to do just because i express my opinion and its not "oh no you had an affair and then you carried on supposedly not having an affair seeing the man in question because you love the attention and the drama and then when it turns sour and he gets obbsessed you get scared oh no poor you hope everything turns out great for you because you so deserve a lovely life cause you are a great person"

and breathe.......

paddy's_mum

rumdiddlyum wrote: »

thanks for wishing something nasty on me and my family that is a really nice thing to do

i believe youve got the wrong end of the stick here and perhaps go back and read it again so that you understand that in fact i earnestly hoped that no 1 would ever get obbsessed with you and begin stalking you and i know that is upsetting cause my friend told me that having a crime done against you is a horrible experience

i have not wished anything on you okay :beer:

rumdiddlyum

i know about having a crime done against you i have been burgled and also mugged by a man with a steel bar for a weapon so dont tell me about crime and i know been there and done that

but anyway:silenced: lets not argue :beer:

Schwade

bigproblem wrote: »

Just wanted to write a quick post to keep people up to date....the police went to see him and apparently he was v apologetic and said he will stop (that remains to be seen) as its pretty much what I'd expect anyone to say in circumstances.

I have blocked all phone numbers that are not on my contact list on mobile phone, so he cannot ring or text me (dont want to change phone number if I can avoid it, incase of fiance contacting me.)

I have changed all passwords on email accounts etc, as someone suggested he might have worked them out - which could be how he found me on wedding forum, and any email from him now goes straight to junk folder (police recommended I keep emails in case they need them as evidence)

Work are going to change the key codes daily for a bit too, in case he is watching to find out the codes, and I am staying with my mum for a bit.

Thank you to those of you who, actually realised the priority at this moment is me being safe.

On blocking all numbers, I would rather you change your number and send an SMS to your fiance to let him know you changed your number because of the other guy's harassment. It also let's your fiance know that (1) the harassment is real and (2) you are doing something about it and (3) nothing to do with the fact that you have been "found out".

On junk folder, you can't send it to that. The email system will delete them periodically. You need to setup a filter to go straight to a new folder (e.g. Stalker Evidence) within your email system. If it is work, ask your colleagues to help. If it is web based (e.g. gmail, yahoo, hotmail), there is a function called filters.

Pollycat

Schwade wrote: »

On blocking all numbers, I would rather you change your number and send an SMS to your fiance to let him know you changed your number because of the other guy's harassment. Also let's your fiance know that (1) the harassment is real and (2) you are doing something about it and (3) nothing to do with the fact that you have been "found out".

That's really good advice, especially the bit about letting her fiance know.
It might not do any good if he's made his mind up but at least it's proactive and might just get a good response from him.

ChemistDude

You don't deserve the stalking and glad uve made progress with police etc. But seriously if he had slept with other women and then remained mates with them behind ure back having coz dinners and catchups for 2 years are you telling me you'd still marry him?

This thought never occurred to you ever? You never felt you were cheating emotionally? You never thought it was wrong to lie(be economical with the truth) about meeting up with a guy u had sex with loads of times? You never thought this was wrong and think its ok if the same was done back to you????

Percy1983

Glad the olice are working on this and hope it does the trick.

As for the e-mail. you say it does to junk, watch out as it junk folders usually get emptied, it might be worth setting up a filter so it just goes to a different folder, who is your e-mail with?

Unlike many I do hope your relationship can survive this, good luck.

flutterby_lil

Bigproblem - have you heard from your fiance?

I know you have done wrong and you realise that now, but I at least hope you get chance to speak to him to explain things and why you evaded the truth about who you were going out with for a meal etc.

Good luck

flutterby_lil

Hello, just wondering how you are getting on?