Done something really stupid in past - now its coming back to bite me - HELP!

Errata

rumdiddlyum wrote: »

yes he is stalking you' but no offence you have led him on you cant be friends with someone you had an affair with you know its wrong. you need to tell your fiance now dont let him get to the alter and then if he does turn up which he may it will leave your boyfriend embarrassed and heartbroken again in front of everyone he knows and loves. tell him and sort it out now and if he leaves well you have learnt your lesson its not an episode on corrie your messing with his whole life

erm....... have you actually read any of the thread?

globetraveller

To be harshly honest, I don't think you should be marrying your bf in the near future. Having dinner at the house fo the person you had the affair with can not really be called "stretching the truth". I don't think you really get it. Seriously.
If your bf had been the one who posted on this forum we all know what the advice would be. How would you have felt if he had had an affair a while back, and you forgave him and then found that he had been lying and still seeing the woman( and by not telling your bf you WERE lying).
However silly your actions were though, you don't deserve the "stalking" that is going on. It has to be scarey. And no-one can tell you that nothing else will happen. We don't know the person.
You need to tell all the people who are important to you, or who can be trusted. That way, you can change your number and know that no-one will give it to him. Also, can you stay with someone just now- a relative perhaps?

rumdiddlyum

Errata wrote: »

erm....... have you actually read any of the thread?

yes thanks and that is my opinion:p

paddy's_mum

rumdiddlyum wrote: »

yes thanks and that is my opinion:p

"you need to tell your fiance now"
:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

..and I bet you read the Daily Mail ... as I do!

Thanked because this is the best giggle I've had all day!

rumdiddlyum

well i didnt read the whole thing cause i just wanted to give her my opinion that well he deserves better cant be doing with people who are likei love drama in my life therefore go out making it then cry when there is some real drama:rotfl:not being funny but you play with fire your going to get burnt and also im glad she felt humiliated after telling everyone and whos fault is that

cant be doing with reading long posts all the way through:eek:

property.advert

I'd dump you like a hot stone if you were my partner and you went behind my back to see someone with whom you had an affair.

paddy's_mum

rumdiddlyum wrote: »

im glad she felt humiliated after telling everyone and whos fault is that

cant be doing with reading long posts all the way through:eek:

I'm not defending the OP's previous actions. I have condemned them. However, once it became clear that she was indeed being stalked and harassed, the time for criticism was over.

I am defending that most of us make/made mistakes during our lives.

However, all that fades into nothing in the face of a criminal intent and/or act. The OP is in danger - still want to goad, sneer, laugh and post this symbol?

If so, you (who can't be bothered to read the "long posts all the way through") should be watching the newspapers, hope that you find nothing which may make you feel shocked, horrified or guilty) and pray that neither you or your nearest and dearest ever make a mistake that brings the wrath and viciousness of an unbalanced man down upon you.

bigproblem

Just wanted to write a quick post to keep people up to date....the police went to see him and apparently he was v apologetic and said he will stop (that remains to be seen) as its pretty much what I'd expect anyone to say in circumstances.

I have blocked all phone numbers that are not on my contact list on mobile phone, so he cannot ring or text me (dont want to change phone number if I can avoid it, incase of fiance contacting me.)

I have changed all passwords on email accounts etc, as someone suggested he might have worked them out - which could be how he found me on wedding forum, and any email from him now goes straight to junk folder (police recommended I keep emails in case they need them as evidence)

Work are going to change the key codes daily for a bit too, in case he is watching to find out the codes, and I am staying with my mum for a bit.

Thank you to those of you who, actually realised the priority at this moment is me being safe.

*BigBird*

That's good to hear that the police are doing what they can. I hope it does the trick and has given him the wake up call he needs to see that the way he is behaving is completely out of order.

I have to say that I've been shocked by some of the responses you've had on here. Nobody is disagreeing that what you have done is incredibly stupid and you have completely betrayed your fiance's trust. But comments that you led this other guy on and somehow deserve to have him stalk you send a shiver down my spine - to my mind that's dangerously close to the attitude that women who wear revealing clothes or otherwise lead men on deserve to be raped. Stalking is not the behaviour of a normal human being who has simply got the wrong idea about the nature of your relationship. You said no and he should have accepted that.

I wish you well and hope that the problem with your ex is now sorted so that you can move on to trying to sort out the rest of the mess you've made.

Pollycat

bigproblem wrote: »

Just wanted to write a quick post to keep people up to date....the police went to see him and apparently he was v apologetic and said he will stop (that remains to be seen) as its pretty much what I'd expect anyone to say in circumstances.

Let's hope that the visit from the Police has actually made him realise that all his actions and attention are unwanted and are causing you worry and distress, and that he keeps his word and leaves you alone from now on.