Done something really stupid in past - now its coming back to bite me - HELP!

scooby088

Just hope the stalker has finally taken the hint..

NickyBat

scooby088 wrote: »

Just hope the stalker has finally taken the hint..

I wouldn't bet on it, although i hope for the OP's sake he has

bigproblem

Thanks for asking how im getting on guys.

I have spoken to my fiance now, which is a start, but thats all im going to say on here.

Am pretty sure that other guy has not taken any notice, as had 6 witheld numbers call my landline between 10pm and midnight last night, but as i didnt answer(at mums at time) cannot say for certain, but its never happened before. Dont know whether to tell the police about that, as no proof etc and dont want to waste their time.

Im hoping that as each day passes he will get the message and leave me alone, but who knows.

whitewing

Call the police on their non-emergency number and tell them. Better to be safe than sorry. May be worth calling BT - I think they have a malicious calls dept (doubt that they call it that) - they may be able to check that it's not an automatic dialling machine from a company (happened to me once and was entirely coincidential to an issue I had reported to the police).

Tropez

bigproblem wrote: »

Thanks for asking how im getting on guys.

I have spoken to my fiance now, which is a start, but thats all im going to say on here.

Am pretty sure that other guy has not taken any notice, as had 6 witheld numbers call my landline between 10pm and midnight last night, but as i didnt answer(at mums at time) cannot say for certain, but its never happened before. Dont know whether to tell the police about that, as no proof etc and dont want to waste their time.

Im hoping that as each day passes he will get the message and leave me alone, but who knows.

Ofcom's advice for malicious or nuisance calls - http://consumers.ofcom.org.uk/2009/07/malicious-or-nuisance-calls/

It would be a good idea to contact the officer dealing with your case and alert them to the fact that you may or may not have had a nuisance call.

You can consider adding Anonymous Call Rejection to your line which is £4 per month with most providers and blocks witheld numbers. However, you may wish to collect evidence against this individual and it could be useful for any police followup if you were to have evidence that he had continued to harass you despite being warned.

meds12_2

OP - haven't read the whole thread, but I really hope you sort it out with your OH and that your old flame gets the message. Don't get hung up over negative replies - you've admitted it was a mistake, so there is no point in denigrating you. Many, many people have affairs for different reasons, myself included, and I have also had it done to me, but we are only human, and we all make mistakes.

Hope it all works out ok for you.

scooby088

What i can believe is that you still have the same mobile number all you need to do is phone your provider and they will change free of charge if you say the police advised you to do so due to malicious calls.

MrsAtobe

scooby088 wrote: »

What i can believe is that you still have the same mobile number all you need to do is phone your provider and they will change free of charge if you say the police advised you to do so due to malicious calls.

My provider (a colour that's also a fruit) can do it in a couple of hours, but it might be worth discussing doing that with the police, as the messages could be used in evidence. OP, if you can afford it, I would suggest getting a cheap PAYG phone for a while.

HTH

mrbrightside842

Change your number and send OH a message telling him you've changed it. He'll get the new number if he wants to contact you, and he'll see that you're actively trying to get rid of the other guy.

Schwade

bigproblem wrote: »

Thanks for asking how im getting on guys.

I have spoken to my fiance now, which is a start, but thats all im going to say on here.

Am pretty sure that other guy has not taken any notice, as had 6 witheld numbers call my landline between 10pm and midnight last night, but as i didnt answer(at mums at time) cannot say for certain, but its never happened before. Dont know whether to tell the police about that, as no proof etc and dont want to waste their time.

Im hoping that as each day passes he will get the message and leave me alone, but who knows.

I would let the police know so that they have a paper trail of all events. The police can then investigate with the phone company if they really need to find out if those withheld numbers are relevant.

You need to keep a record of all things so that police has evidence to do things if anything happens.

Another idea also but you can think about whether you want to do this - if you have any mutual friends with this stalker, it might also be good for those mutual friends to tell him that you dont want anything to do with him (but obviously your mutual friends need to frame it so that it is not like passing on the message but its their opinion (because you shouldn't give him any ideas that you are responding to him)). The reason I suggested this is because the guy is deluded and maybe if he hears it from other people, he might get the message as well. Not sure if it will work 100% though. And so take this with a pinch of salt given we are dealing with a deluded guy.

As the start, it might also be good not to go to your home by yourself, just as a precaution.

Do not isolate yourself and do not deal with this alone. Stay safe.