How do you deal with infidelity?

pigpen

He can only make you feel guilty if you let him... What do you have to be guilty for?????

You have spent years doing what you thought was right for your family and he has torn it up and thrown it in your face..

I watch far too many childrens films... and one day when my XH (KH) came round drunk at about 2am about 2 weeks after he had gone.. I didn't walkaway, I didn't back down I stood with him screaming in my face and I said to him 'You don't scare me. You can't make me do anything. You have no power over me' .... and he never did it again... That is what it all boils down to... a power trip.. he wants to be in charge and you MUST take charge, take the power from him and be strong... believe me.. every little step forward is a mighty battle at first but it gets easier and you realise you are doing this for yourself and to protect your children and to show them that life doesn't have to be what they have seen.. it can be better and you and they deserve better.

I'd be packing his stuff... binbag it all... put it out the front and tell him to take and go wherever he likes you don't care but he is not sharing the house with his children or you again, he lost that right by his own actions.

You have come so far this week.. don't fail yourself or your children now!

His C0ck isn't emotionally numb... maybe you should get it in that vice!!

NickyBat

i fully agree with Lucy, i think he should get his a**e home asap, and show you some thought and respect and sort it out. Good luck to you though, i think you have done really well....even if it was by text!!

xxxxhelpxxxx

I am going out with my sister and my friend in a bit.

I am probably going to regret it, but I have sent the other woman an email - nothing nasty just asking how long her and my husband has been having sex, how far gone she was and what she intended to do with it and what the hell did she think she was doing. And telling her she was welcome to him. I don't care if she replies or not, it just got it off my chest a bit But not in a nasty way - I didn't ask her if I should be going to the GUM clinic!!

Sally42

xxxxhelpxxxx wrote: »

......... I didn't ask her if I should be going to the GUM clinic!!

....mind you, you could suggest that she should pop up there & get checked out. Two can play at mind games.

xxxxhelpxxxx

Sally42 wrote: »

....mind you, you could suggest that she should pop up there & get checked out. Two can play at mind games.

I like that one I'm not quick enough to think of things like that till I have sent an email.

Bettybigboobs

If you get rid of him: life will not be the same for a while, but it can and will be made better in time.
If you take him back: life will never ever be the same again, unless you turn a blind eye, a deaf ear, and forget about everything....and thats not going to happen.

paddy's_mum

Sally42 wrote: »

....mind you, you could suggest that she should pop up there & get checked out. Two can play at mind games.

But actually, she should be getting her health checked out. How do either of the women know who else he might have been monkeying about with and what other risks to their wellbeing he might have taken?

Perhaps S wouldn't be quite so sanguine if she knew more about this man's history - OP's moment will come when S is the one he next dumps upon

flutterby_lil

xxxxxhelpxxxxx, how are things this morning. I hope you are bearing up ok. Don't imagine you got much sleep but just to let you know you are in my thoughts and were a lot of the evening ((((((hugs))))) x

rumdiddlyum

what an awful situation for you all that matters now is that you make sure you and your girls and grandchild is ok and tell him to get lost after such a long marriage what a vile thing to do to you i really feel for you. You deserve alot better and it will be him who is completely regretting his actions when he has a new baby screaming in the night he wanted fun and now hes got responsability all over again. it must be hard but you will move on and maybe even find someone who is worthy of you

NickyBat

hope you are baring up this morning, i was thinking of you last night. Did you manage to talk and sort anything out? x