poppyfield19 post gone about daughter pregnant

gingin_2

I think there should be a sub forum on marriages, relationships and families called " a problem shared", or similar. An agony aunt style sub forum, where it is accepted it will not really relate to moneysaving but will focus on marriage, relationships and families. I know it's not an original suggestion but perhaps it should be pushed more. There are understandably people who need to offload but it's frustrating when a very reasonable moneysaing thread is bumped off the main page because someone has asked yet another personal question that has been asked umpteen times before. If Moneysaving in Marriages relationships and families is kept as the main subforum and then "a problem shared" ( or other name) is placed somewhere alongside beauty and pets it should keep moneysaving threads the priority.

Sorry Poppyfield, that wasn't meant to be a dig at your thread, it was in response to a similar suggestion. Hope everything is working out ok.

Pollycat

coolcait wrote: »

I didn't read the original thread.

I rarely do nowadays when the OP states "I'm a regular poster using a different name", or words to that effect. I now see that as being a synonym for 'troll'.

Yers, that's unfair to the genuine 'regular posters using a different name' - and no doubt there will be some, maybe including the OP of the thread being referred to.

coolcait
I can't understand why somebody goes to the trouble of registering a new username and email address because they don't want to be identified by friends/family and then state that they are a regular poster but have registered under a new name.

I don't necessarily see them as potential trolls but it just seems bizarre to me.

Oldernotwiser

donquine wrote: »

It doesn't matter how friendly a chat starts, when it's about emotional issues, someone always wades in with a different (upsetting) opinion and chaos follows.
.

That's the problem really; why should anyone be upset by a difference of opinion?

Oldernotwiser

Pollycat wrote: »

coolcait
I can't understand why somebody goes to the trouble of registering a new username and email address because they don't want to be identified by friends/family and then state that they are a regular poster but have registered under a new name.

I don't necessarily see them as potential trolls but it just seems bizarre to me.

I have to say, it always seems suspicious to me. Presumably, if the facts they're presenting would be recognisable to people who know them, they'll be recognised whatever AE they use.

suki1964

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I have to say, it always seems suspicious to me. Presumably, if the facts they're presenting would be recognisable to people who know them, they'll be recognised whatever AE they use.

I really love the ones who say" dont want mum/brother/sister/nextdoor neighbour to recognise me" - then give very detailed accounts of what ever it is the mum/brother/sister/nextdoor neighbour have done thats upset them so much

Hilarious :rotfl:

suki1964

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

That's the problem really; why should anyone be upset by a difference of opinion?

Totally agree with you there.

So many of the posts on that particular thread were from posters who seemed to feel that the advice they were offering was the only advice worth having and woe betide those who posted differently. It was only the OP who wasnt reacting.

January20

Pollycat wrote: »

coolcait
I can't understand why somebody goes to the trouble of registering a new username and email address because they don't want to be identified by friends/family and then state that they are a regular poster but have registered under a new name.

I don't necessarily see them as potential trolls but it just seems bizarre to me.

I see it as they don't want to be recognised but as they are regular users they know the "stigma" (for want of a better word) attached to being a newbie. They want to be anonymous but they also want people to take them seriously.

As for recognising them through details in their posts, there are so many people who don't read posts properly ( hence so many misunderstandings and arguments) that I wouldn't have thought that was a problem. Plus it could be that a friend/ family member etc would be looking for a username rather than trawling through all the posts looking for evidence of their nearest and dearest posting!

donquine

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

That's the problem really; why should anyone be upset by a difference of opinion?

Rightly or wrongly, many are. I would suggest that if someone is upset enough to post a thread here on a private, emotive topic, they aren't in a frame of mind where they can see the difference between another opinion and a personal attack. Of course, in some cases, it is a personal attack, so they have every right to feel victimised.

Sometimes people offer a different perspective - other times, people deliberately pick on 'new' posters, assume they're trolls and lay into them. When it's unclear whether someone is trolling, I think all we can do is assume they are not and offer advice with the benefit of the doubt. If nothing else, someone with a genuine similar problem may come across the thread next time and gain some comfort from it.

I think 'I am not a new poster, I registered a different username' is code for 'Please don't pick on me, I've seen how you lot lay into newbies, also please believe I am not trolling.' There shouldn't be any need to register different usernames, but a lot of people inadvertently give away so many details about themselves, they no longer feel anonymous on their 'main' account. Which is a lesson in itself that we should all be more careful about the information we are giving away.

I don't think we can stop people wanting to post on MSE for advice on non money-saving issues, so really, a compromise has to be established. A sub-board, as suggested above, doesn't seem like a bad starting point. My idea to introduce advertising is possibly a bit more radical, but something needs to be done.

Craftyscholar

gingin wrote: »

I think there should be a sub forum on marriages, relationships and families called " a problem shared", or similar. An agony aunt style sub forum, where it is accepted it will not really relate to moneysaving but will focus on marriage, relationships and families. I know it's not an original suggestion but perhaps it should be pushed more. There are understandably people who need to offload but it's frustrating when a very reasonable moneysaing thread is bumped off the main page because someone has asked yet another personal question that has been asked umpteen times before. If Moneysaving in Marriages relationships and families is kept as the main subforum and then "a problem shared" ( or other name) is placed somewhere alongside beauty and pets it should keep moneysaving threads the priority.

Sorry Poppyfield, that wasn't meant to be a dig at your thread, it was in response to a similar suggestion. Hope everything is working out ok.

Sounds like an excellent idea. I think people post 'problems' on here because they use MSE regularly and wouldn't know where to find another forum when they hit a family crisis.
It would be like the 'Debt free Diaries' sub forum which was started as those threads were clogging the DFW forum.
And if anyone doubts the value of some of the 'non MSE' threads in here maybe they should look at rose28454's thread - sorry, rose, I picked you because I saw you had posted an update which showed how far you had come since you started your thread.

Oldernotwiser

donquine wrote: »

Rightly or wrongly, many are. I would suggest that if someone is upset enough to post a thread here on a private, emotive topic, they aren't in a frame of mind where they can see the difference between another opinion and a personal attack. Of course, in some cases, it is a personal attack, so they have every right to feel victimised.

But, on the thread in question, it wasn't the OP who was complaining ( as I understand it) but other posters who couldn't cope with opinions that were different from theirs.