Money Moral Dilemma: Should I have flogged my husband's bling?

Former_MSE_Penelope

Money Moral Dilemma: Should I have flogged my husband's bling?

I was clearing out the loft and found a chunky gold necklace of my husband's, which, to be honest, I always thought was hideous. It had been up there 10 years and he'd totally forgotten about it, but I was worried he'd start wearing it again if he saw it. So I flogged it to (MSE's top) gold buying site for £200 and put the money in our joint account - handy as we're a bit strapped for cash at the moment. But now I feel a tad guilty; was I wrong to melt his bling without telling him?

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jenki2

Yes! You should have at least discussed it with him at the very least!

telsco

Very wrong.

Its was his and his alone, it was NOT yours to sell.

You say it was chunky yet you only got £200. The price of gold is sky high and your actions have undoubtably cost your husband a great deal as it has obviously been sold at a fraction of its real worth.

Some gold buying sites only offer a 10th of the real worth, so you may have cost your husband as much as £1800.

A terrible decision.

ConfusedAgain

Wrong. Definitely wrong. Regardless of its value, its his property and he has the right to choose whether to sell it or keep it. Even if he wasn't going to wear it, he may have wanted to keep it for some sentimental reason. I think it would have been better to have asked him, pointing out that its resale value could have really helped with your money problems and then let him make the decision.


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This being said, I must admit that, if my better half owned something that hideous that was just gathering dust anyway, I would have been pretty tempted to do the same thing myself.

scotsbob

The money went in a joint account, not his account!! If my wife did that, she would be my ex wife.

If your husband finds some of your "valuables" to sell without your permission I assume you won't start whingeing.

pennypinchUK

Yep, you were wrong. It was his, you should have asked him. A little secret now, but what will the next secret you keep from him be? It's a rocky road....

nev0757

'A Gold Buying Site'. Good grief, ordinary wedding rings are worth £50 each, so a heavy gold necklace is worth a great deal more than the £200 you got.
Don't you read the Money-Saving Expert advice?
Should've known better, it wasn't even yours to sell. Will he ever find out? If he reads MSE he will - explain that away!

darkwarrior

So incredibly wrong it isn't true. As others have said, these sites pay a FRACTION of what it is worth and you still got £200 so that necklace must've been worth a lot more than that. Plus it was his property. I imagine you would know the answer if he had done the same to you.

And now there is nothing at all you can do about it.

picnic

did you check the weight of the necklace before selling?? or check the price of gold??? big mistake made in selling to where you did!! IF you OH finds out he would be right in being very unhappy!!

kelbag_2

Yes you were wrong but come on, how big is the chance he'll remember it? Has he even mentioned it in the last 10 years?

Blokes don't tend to have the same sentimentility about stuff that us women do so the chances are if he's forgotten its up there you're in the clear.

It still doesn't excuse it but maybe you can sooth the guilt by getting him his favourite tipple and a nice meal? Even the edge by selling something of yours to explain the extra cash?

astracat

To rephrase:

"I found something valuable that belonged to someone else so I stole it. The item was gold so I fenced it through a recycler to cash in and destroy the evidence. Was I wrong? "

How could this ever be a 'moral dilemma'? It's simple theft aggravated by an abuse of trust. A judge would see no dilemma and neither do I.