Money Moral Dilemma: Should I have flogged my husband's bling?

CutTheJargon

MrsMUFC wrote: »

In around 2001, my brother was a bit flush and he'd heard me raving to my sister about a gorgeous beachbag I'd seen. It was quite expensive and I didn't know if I could justify spending the money. He came to me and gave me the money and told me to treat myself for my upcoming birthday. I still have that bag, even thought I don't use it nowadays as it's a bit knackered.

In 2005 my brother died, and that bag is the only thing I have that he bought me - it's my most treasured possession. I still can't bear to look at a photograph of my brother as I still get too upset but every time I open the wardrobe and catch a glimpse of that bag, I smile and remember how my brother laughed when I showed him what his money had bought.

How does the OP know whether that chain (no matter how tacky she thinks it is) doesn't hold the same kind of sentimental value? What an appalling abuse of trust.

A thought provoking first post. My Dad chucked my Teddy out which I had had since I was four and I was gutted :mad:

JayD

Yes, you were totally wrong - and extremely deceitful!

What kind of marriage do you have????

Does he know how untrsutworthy you are? Is he as untrustworthy as you?

I could never do anything behind my husband's back - and I am confident that he would do nothing behind my back either.

I find this doubly unpleasant in that you actually took something that belonged to someone else, made a judgement call on it and 'got rid' because YOU didn't like it!

Strapped for cash or not - it was HIS decision to make - not yours.

stressedoutmother

I really cannot believe people are so hung up on this. I don't think it is a big deal AT ALL!

All that matters to me are my children, our health and happiness, a roof over our heads and enough feed to eat.

Possessions are overrated.

sharalee99

I don't think it's just a matter of possessions. It could have been a cheapo fishing rod, or a pair of slippers. It was the fact it was taken without permission, and disposed of when it wasn't hers to take. She stole from her husband!
I don't particularly care for possessions, but what I do have I would not like stolen, particularly by the person I trust in this world the most!

stressedoutmother

I disagree. Possessions are just things. Anything can be replaced but a life cannot. And if that causes a rift between a couple then I don't think they have their priorities right. If my husband reacted strongly over losing an old gold necklace he'd not bothered about for 10 years then I'd be seriously worried. It is not theft. I trust the person I married with my life and my children. I consider everything we own to be our joint possessions. He does not need my permission.

seputus

stressedoutmother wrote: »

I disagree. Possessions are just things. Anything can be replaced but a life cannot. And if that causes a rift between a couple then I don't think they have their priorities right. If my husband reacted strongly over losing an old gold necklace he'd not bothered about for 10 years then I'd be seriously worried. It is not theft. I trust the person I married with my life and my children. I consider everything we own to be our joint possessions. He does not need my permission.

lol.. oh please. I'd like to see you take that stance when you come home from work to find that the house is up for sale.

omendata

Was a documentary on gold the other night
These gold buyers offer a fraction of the value so not only did you get ripped off - you should have taken it to a proper jeweller or gold merchant!

Men love their things even if they dont use em!!!
Funny how women can live with men for forty years and still not understand them - possibly because women are pretty selfish creatures they want men to try hard to understand them which to some extent we do but the task is just too difficult but in my experience women dont do much to try and understand us.
Possibly one of th reasons men cheat so much trying to get someone to understand them or even listen to them properly!

Personally I wouldnt tell your husband just leave it alone!

Larumbelle

omendata wrote: »

Funny how women can live with men for forty years and still not understand them - possibly because women are pretty selfish creatures they want men to try hard to understand them which to some extent we do but the task is just too difficult but in my experience women dont do much to try and understand us.
Possibly one of th reasons men cheat so much trying to get someone to understand them or even listen to them properly!

Wow, no sweeping generalisations in there at all! Want to stick a few mother-in-law jokes in there while you're at it?

PoshPete

To be honest I just don't understand why you would say nothing to your husband. No wonder so many marriages fail. It's all about communication, why keep anything secret?? If you do there is something wrong. Anyone who disagrees with that should take a long hard look at themselves and their marriage.
Maybe you should take this opportunity to discuss what you did and why, and apologise. If he is reasonable he will probably be annoyed but understand what you did if you are genuinely that strapped for cash; but you should change your ways from this point on.

harryhound

Any one see the programme about how we killed off the Neanderthals?
They actually had bigger brains than we have.
However we had leaned how to live in groups of up to 150, about ten times the size of a Neanderthal group and so we were better at personal communication and trading goofs and ideas.

I expect Neanderthals were more "honest" though - there are some topics where economy with the truth is the best policy - however money is strictly mathematical so it is difficult to lie - no wonder it is one of the top reasons for divorce.

Harry

There was an interesting series last week on Radio 4 all about identifying a lie. Apparently the best method is to as questions about the "story" working backwards unexpectedly. As the events did not happen in real life the lying gets so difficult that the "suspect" starts getting the story muddled up.