Daughter is pregnant - at 15!

MsHoarder

paddy's_mum wrote: »

Poppyfield - I'm sorry if this post offends you but this bit of the story worries me intensely and I can't quite put my finger on why.

Perhaps it's because much of her reaction is that of a scared child hiding under their blankets but there is also a strong hint that she is not as innocently naive as you believe her to be.

Does it take quite a bit of cunning to obtain, use and dispose of three pregnancy tests and still make sure that nobody finds out? Did she buy them locally? Did no pharmacy assistant notice what she was buying and how young she was? How did she pay for them or does she routinely have that kind of money to hand so that you didn't notice? Did she have them sent to another address, undercover as it were? Did someone else pay for them, and provide the privacy to take them, and if so, who?

I'm afraid that by now I would be doing a fair bit of sleuthing if for no other reason than that you deserve to have all the facts the better to protect her, perhaps even from herself.

Not difficult at all. Supermarkets sell them, and if you go to the till with a few other things they won't even look twice. Then just nip into the loo in the shop, stay in there for 5 minutes and chuck the test in the sanitary bin afterwards.

And what sleuthing do you suggest she does? Remember you don't want her friends to know what's going on right now.

The only thing I can think of is settle in for the evening, grab a tub of good chocolate ice cream, two spoons, and do a bit of gentle digging, with hugs when necessary, but not to let her leave until the answers are out.

carolan78

PootleFlump wrote: »

:eek::eek::eek:

What!!! She is 15 and shouldnt be having sex in the first place. I personally would find it very odd to have a mother asking a 15 year old who is not in a relationship whether it was exciting and whether she enjoyed it. Completely inappropriate IMO.

Even at 32 I would find it very odd especially with my Mum who threw the bag of sanitary products I got from school after 'the talk' across the kitchen and ran to hide lol Luckily my Aunty was at the house and she asked her to deal with it

vax2002

Some people ?
Talking about a child here who may have been raped by an adult and some folk want to ask if she enjoyed it. ?

Jesswithwings

savingmummy wrote: »

I feel the gp was a bit too laid back about the situation tbh!
As a gynae nurse we would normally of had see this girl by now. The GP`s normally give a instant referral and we would be doing swabs and the nessesary blood tests and booking of a scan to ensure all is ok. Due to the unknown she would also be spoken too alone if needed to ensure it was just an `accident`.

Also it is hard to determine how many weeks you are by just feeling the uterus externally and going by periods. It isnt 100% accurate either as some women can have periods during pregnancy or be irregular!

Exactly this. I'm a nurse on an adolecent ward and I would have thought the first thing the doc would have done (and what we do) is to take your daughter into a different room to you to "examine" her and quietly ask her if she had told the father, and try to acertain some knowledge around the circumstances of the pregnancy. Plus, a dating scan should be arranged NOW to determine the gestation of pregnancy rather than guestimating based on the palpation of your daughter's tummy.

I am very pleased to see that you and your daughter have been able to discuss this together- I see far too many young people who haven't got a strong enough relationship with their parents to talk about anything, let alone something as life changing as this. I too feel it is of vast importance that she disclose at least a bit of information about the 'father' but I won't keep going on about it as everyone here has already had their 2pence worth.

I wish you both the best of luck

Blobby8_2

pigpen wrote: »

Of course.. you will need to show you are educating her at home though and not letting her sit watching Jezza Kyle!

Watching Jezza ? Or do you mean appearing with ?

PootleFlump_3

carolan78 wrote: »

Even at 32 I would find it very odd especially with my Mum who threw the bag of sanitary products I got from school after 'the talk' across the kitchen and ran to hide lol Luckily my Aunty was at the house and she asked her to deal with it

My parents were always quite open if I wanted to ask any questions etc so I didnt have any issues asking or discussing "stuff" but if my mum told me now (at 38) that she had always been looking forward to having woman to woman chats about sex Id tell her to sling her hook and stop being a weirdo!! :rotfl:

The OP's daughter is not a "woman" in any case. Poor thing is still a child and I cant imagine whats going through her head at the moment but at some point Id think enough is enough and sit her down and say that she has to explain what happened and who with. End of.

vax2002

PootleFlump wrote: »

at some point Id think enough is enough and sit her down and say that she has to explain what happened and who with. End of.

This should have happened on day 1
It is called parenting.

Lunar_Eclipse

Poppy - hope you had a good night's sleep, thinking of you all and hope further understanding comes soon.

gizmo111

paddy's_mum wrote: »

Poppyfield - I'm sorry if this post offends you but this bit of the story worries me intensely and I can't quite put my finger on why.

Perhaps it's because much of her reaction is that of a scared child hiding under their blankets but there is also a strong hint that she is not as innocently naive as you believe her to be.

Does it take quite a bit of cunning to obtain, use and dispose of three pregnancy tests and still make sure that nobody finds out? Did she buy them locally? Did no pharmacy assistant notice what she was buying and how young she was? How did she pay for them or does she routinely have that kind of money to hand so that you didn't notice? Did she have them sent to another address, undercover as it were? Did someone else pay for them, and provide the privacy to take them, and if so, who?

I'm afraid that by now I would be doing a fair bit of sleuthing if for no other reason than that you deserve to have all the facts the better to protect her, perhaps even from herself.

They cost about £3 for 2 in tesco, easily done and disposed of in the store public toilet. What do you mean sent to another address? Why would the pharmacy assistant be involved in the age of hte purchaser and what do you think she would have done about it? Its not a police matter.

vax2002

I would be very surprised here reading all this if your child is not under the control of another adult, many things do not add up, as I said in my first post and as others are now concluding to, this looks like a police matter.
If your daughter will not tell you what has gone on then she may tell a specially trained police officer.
Sometimes in life you have to know when something is to heavy to burden.