Daughter is pregnant - at 15!

pigpen

pelirocco wrote: »

If you are having an early pregnancy abortion (6-14 weeks) your second visit will be the procedure.

Here they use full general anaesthetic from 8 weeks up to whenever.. my mother was 22 weeks when hers was removed (medical reasons) under GA.. before that you are offered 'medical management'.. a couple of pills and a few days heavy bleeding.

It does seem unlikely the gp didn't offer a scan.. mine is totally incompetant but if I took my underage daughter she would be sent to epu the next or the same day! (though that might be because I would demand it)

Oldernotwiser

DON79 wrote: »

bad idea! she needs to maintain trust with her daughter, not spy on her! it will just make her daughter turn away from her mum when she finds out... and she would somehow or at some point

It may not be a popular viewpoint but I feel that a little less trust and a little more "spying" might have avoided this situation altogether!

It is, after all, the daughter who has betrayed the trust that her mother put in her.

PootleFlump_3

glitter03 wrote: »

I have been reading this thread since the beginning but have not posted....i rarely do on these kinds of topics.

The longer the thread goes on, the more i disbelieve in this story for some reason. Not sure why.

The doctor's visit leaves big doubts for me as there are many things which would have happened at this visit which have not been mentioned. Other appointments would have been made for within the week after this visit too considering the age and how far along she is supposed to be.

I doubt anyone would be so sick as to suggest that her daughter who is a minor was pregnant just for the hell of it!

shy-but-need-help

glitter03 wrote: »

The doctor's visit leaves big doubts for me as there are many things which would have happened at this visit which have not been mentioned. Other appointments would have been made for within the week after this visit too considering the age and how far along she is supposed to be.

I think doctors visits vary hugely depending on where you are in the country, where I am my first appt in pregnancy they barely look up from the desk, fill out forms and tell me to wait to hear from the hospital and midwife even though medical issues mean each time I had absolutely no idea of how pregnant I was, i still had to wait for a scan each time, even when having bleeding in pregnancy I had to wait for my routine scan appt from the hospital as they are so in demand at our local hospital. My sister however is in an area where, because of a previous missed miscarriage, she is immediately sent to the hospital for a scan on confirmation of pregnancy and then seen every 2 weeks after for rescans until her 12 week scan- if differs hugely from area to area.

I was a teenager with my first pregnancy and treated no differently then than I was at 30.

life_in_termoil

DON79 wrote: »

bad idea! she needs to maintain trust with her daughter, not spy on her! it will just make her daughter turn away from her mum when she finds out... and she would somehow or at some point

Its not "spying" its trying to protect children whilst on the internet and keeping them safe.

My kids have MSN and I have set the accounts up so that ALL conversations are saved. The kids cant find them but I can. Its called parental responsibility!

glitter03

PootleFlump wrote: »

I doubt anyone would be so sick as to suggest that her daughter who is a minor was pregnant just for the hell of it!

Lol you would hope not wouldn't you!?

I was on a parenting site when pregnant with my first child and there was a lady there who posted regulalry who we were all friendly with. She told us she was pregnant and went into labour very prematurely and then told us her baby had died. She posted pictures and everything.

We later found out she was lying about all of it, she never was pregnant and she had stolen the pics from her friend who actually had gone through something similar.


I am not suggesting the OP has made this story up, i don't know what i am suggesting TBH!! It's just a few things that have been said have left me with nagging doubts? concerns?

Oldernotwiser

PootleFlump wrote: »

I doubt anyone would be so sick as to suggest that her daughter who is a minor was pregnant just for the hell of it!

You obviously haven't been here long!

We had a member who faked a breakdown and suicide on line. He returns regularly and is now supposed to have a female AE/;)

poppyfield19

Hi - just finished reading all of your replies.

Regarding the doctor visit I didn't know how much detail to go into exactly on here. I'll just say that everything regarding scans/health checks was covered/arranged etc.

The doctor did stress how it would be best to make her decision as soon as she could. I'm definitely not trying to hold off her making a decision until an abortion isn't possible.

I've spent this morning talking to her. She asked a lot of questions such as would I think less of her depending on the decision she made.

Regarding the father, I don't know who he is or the circumstances, but she said he doesn't know about the baby yet.

glitter03

shy-but-need-help wrote: »

I think doctors visits vary hugely depending on where you are in the country, where I am my first appt in pregnancy they barely look up from the desk, fill out forms and tell me to wait to hear from the hospital and midwife even though medical issues mean each time I had absolutely no idea of how pregnant I was, i still had to wait for a scan each time, even when having bleeding in pregnancy I had to wait for my routine scan appt from the hospital as they are so in demand at our local hospital. My sister however is in an area where, because of a previous missed miscarriage, she is immediately sent to the hospital for a scan on confirmation of pregnancy and then seen every 2 weeks after for rescans until her 12 week scan- if differs hugely from area to area.

I was a teenager with my first pregnancy and treated no differently then than I was at 30.

Wow that is crazy, thankyou for your post.

Did you have your scan at the usual 12 weeks?

I just would expect with her being 14 weeks (approx) then they may have given more information than just a few leaflets

Errata

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

It may not be a popular viewpoint but I feel that a little less trust and a little more "spying" might have avoided this situation altogether!

It is, after all, the daughter who has betrayed the trust that her mother put in her.

I'm not sure the mother has specifically told the daughter not to have sex and not to become pregnant. Some mothers have that conversation when their daughters are 12 years old, other mothers just hope for the best.
I think the bald facts are that the daughter doesn't trust the mother and won't be honest with her. Finding out a 15 year old daughter is pregnant is tough enough; realising that your're not trusted by her and she's also dishonest is a bitter pill to swallow.