Daughter is pregnant - at 15!

GlasweJen

gordikin wrote: »

...so you agree with killing underage pregnant girls? It does happen.

Oh yes gordikin, and I'm sure myself and ONW also support cannabalising and then regurgitating people.

I'm sorry but your post is just ridiculous. My mum used to say that there's worse than bairns come out the clyde but I don't actually think that's where babies come from.

star-X_2

and my daughters friend had told 2 of her friends, someone knows!! They are just being loyal friends, something very important when youre 15 x

savingmummy

Poppy9 wrote: »

OP I think you have the patience of a saint and it's great that her father is being involved. But..... if it was my DD I would demand to know who the father is. She is a minor, I would be giving my help/support etc. but I would feel I had a right to know.

I wouldn't !!!!! foot around DD either pandering to her every whim. I would be of the opinion that she thinks it's okay to act like an adult having a sexual relationship so I would treat her as such, albeit a young adult.

IMO her options are limited at 14 weeks, but that is just my opinion, but plans have to be made.

I would also bet at least one of her friends knows as its doubtful she hasn't broke down and confided in one of them.

Your DD knows your love is constant but you are her mother not her best friend. She is a minor so you have to keep control of the situation. Whatever she decides I think the school should know in case her behaviour changes, grades drop, she seems withdrawn etc.

I do feel for you dealing with this situation as I know it's come as a great shock. xxxx

i do agree!

Mikazaru

I do think you need to be a bit firmer with her with regards to finding out who the father is. Have you explained that you’re so worried? Had I told my parents I was pregnant at 15, they would have gone mad but I know they would have calmed down and supported me, but I wouldn’t have got away with not telling them anything about the father at all especially if I didn’t have a boyfriend. Even if I hadn’t wanted to tell them I wouldn’t have wanted to cause them all that additional stress and worry on top of the pregnancy by being so secretive.

WelshBluebird

Demanding to know who the father is will probably be no use, and being too forceful (which is clear what some people on here want) will only push the daughter away from the OP. Yes knowing who the father is is important, but so is making sure the daughter knows she had the support of her mother, and making sure the daughter doesn't feel pressured into making a decision she may not want to. (being too forceful could well push the daughter into having an abortion for example).

The daughter has already said she doesn't want to say who it is. What do you suggest the OP does? Threaten her? Because that will end well (not!!).

I don't know about others here, but being just 21 myself, I know full well how teenagers react to unwanted pressure from their parents. And it is not the reaction the parents want. Being a bit more authoritative is fine, but you cannot force a teenager to tell you something they do not want to tell you.

Welshdebtor

Regarding the demanding to know the father:

If pushed into an answer how do you know she comes out with a truthful answer? And not something like "A boy in my class" just to get her mum to back off and stop asking?

What would be the ideal proof?Except getting a name etc then meeting him maybe?

Torry_Quine

WelshBluebird wrote: »

Demanding to know who the father is will probably be no use, and being too forceful (which is clear what some people on here want) will only push the daughter away from the OP. Yes knowing who the father is is important, but so is making sure the daughter knows she had the support of her mother, and making sure the daughter doesn't feel pressured into making a decision she may not want to. (being too forceful could well push the daughter into having an abortion for example).

That is what I feel. Remember you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

gordikin

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Where on earth did that jump come from?

Originally Posted by GlasweJen
OP, you're doing fab but I think if you're seriously worried about who the father is you need to get tougher with your daughter. My parents would have killed me if I walked in pregnant at 15, I would have been chewed up and spat out again for having the audacity to tell them over the phone and then to refuse to even tell them who the father is, well I would have been disowned (for the deceit, not the pregnancy).

Fact is your 15 year old daughter is pregnant and has no boyfriend, you should be calling the shots here and not her.



Thank heavens for such a sensible post!

GlasweJen

Welshdebtor, I wouldn't dream of lying to my mum, i always assume other people are brought up the same. If I fell pregnant now to my boyfriend who my mum hasn't met and she asked who the father was she'd be told, there would be no "random guy at work" or "one night stand" excuses because I was brought up properly and lying to parents doesn't come into the equation.

Oldernotwiser

gordikin wrote: »

Originally Posted by GlasweJen
OP, you're doing fab but I think if you're seriously worried about who the father is you need to get tougher with your daughter. My parents would have killed me if I walked in pregnant at 15, I would have been chewed up and spat out again for having the audacity to tell them over the phone and then to refuse to even tell them who the father is, well I would have been disowned (for the deceit, not the pregnancy).

Fact is your 15 year old daughter is pregnant and has no boyfriend, you should be calling the shots here and not her.



Thank heavens for such a sensible post!

Do you take everything so literally?