Daughter is pregnant - at 15!

2gorgeousgirls

Dehanni

I agree that parents need to be decent role models. However, I do not agree with you slagging off the OP.

She obviously cares enough about her daughter to come on here and ask for help. She hasn't ranted and raved at her and demanded she come home. She hasn't thrown her out on the street. She wants to find a way to help her daughter through this. To me that is being a decent role model.

Having the best parents in the world is no guarantee that your child will stay on the straight and narrow. As a parent, your job is to bring your children up to be the best possible person they can be and to trust that they will make the right choices in life.

However you also have to realise that you, as their parent, are not the only influence in their life. They are influenced by their peers and as teenagers by their hormones!

You teach them right from wrong, but they have their own minds and will, as they get older, go their own way.

Edited to add: Please also remember that most single parents are not single through choice. Having two children of my own, and relying on my husband for help and support, I can't imagine that anyone would take the decision to raise children on their own lightly. We don't know why the OP is a single parent and, quite frankly, I don't see that it is any of our business.

Misstress

poppyfield19 wrote: »

As I said above and as others said if she has this baby that doesn't mean she is going to spend her life on benifets. She's a hard working girl who is serious about school and has always wanted to do well at school and get a good job. Whatever she decides to do will be her decision.

Your daughter is very lucky to have you as a mother. I'm sure whatever she decides she will go on to have a successful life as she has you and your support to do just that :T

There_Goes_Trouble

poppyfield19 wrote: »

As I said above and as others said if she has this baby that doesn't mean she is going to spend her life on benifets. She's a hard working girl who is serious about school and has always wanted to do well at school and get a good job. Whatever she decides to do will be her decision.

If it helps, I have a friend who turns 40 this month. She did well at A-levels and got a good degree at university. She has held down various jobs ever since.

She was pregnant at 15, was 16 when her daughter was born.

He daughter went with her every step of the way including to university (although she went to day care, not lectures!) and has turned into a fine, well educated beautiful young woman who is now 24 years old and is also doing very well for herself.

There are some happy endings.

Oldernotwiser

poppyfield19 wrote: »

I don't see what being angry with my daughter is going to gain, I don't know the full situation yet so getting angry with her seems unfair and pointless.

Surely it's not a question of there being anything to gain by a perfectly normal reaction? Most parents would be angry in this situation, even if they were to keep their feelings in check.

Person_one

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Surely it's not a question of there being anything to gain by a perfectly normal reaction? Most parents would be angry in this situation, even if they were to keep their feelings in check.

If the OP can cope with this without anger, surely that's a good thing? Not everybody has the same reaction to a situation.

Oldernotwiser

Person_one wrote: »

If the OP can cope with this without anger, surely that's a good thing? Not everybody has the same reaction to a situation.

Of course people react differently but that doesn't mean that the OP has to pretend that she's happy about the situation. After all, there's the two younger daughters to be taken into consideration.

Torry_Quine

Person_one wrote: »

If the OP can cope with this without anger, surely that's a good thing? Not everybody has the same reaction to a situation.

Obviously on-going anger is very unhelpful but initial anger is understandable and I would think the reaction of many in this situation.

DON79

dehaan wrote: »

Hi I've got some practical advice but I'll PM it to you due to the sensitive nature of the subject.

Emmmm! shouldn't this be you?? lol! just going to report you again


dehaani
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pigpen

My sons GF a pg a 15 .. a few weeks after her birthday to be exact.

Support her. Love her and respect her decisions.. and don't for Gods sake try convincing her to have a termination.. she will resent you forever and not forgive you.

The best thing you can say is.. I love you I respect whatever decision you make and will be here to support and help whatever you decide.

negative emotions are so futile.. anger more than others.

DON79

dehaan wrote: »

What are you asking?

Why do you think that MSE or we are so stupid as to know exactly what you are trying? Doh! even I would not be so obvious as to go from being "dehaani" to "dehaan", it is just totally laughable.