Daughter is pregnant - at 15!

savingmummy

Dave101t wrote: »

id disown my daughter at 15. good luck with what you do about it, but if she has set the bar at that height...i guess ill be paying her benefits from now on...

Thats nice! Your children clearly are proud of you.

As for benefits a baby don`t stop career or education!

poppyfield19

Ah okay - thanks

rumdiddlyum

i had just turned 20 when i got pregnant with my first son and i know that is quite abit older but i was still living at home and found it awful telling my mum and dad my mum didnt speak to me for days and alot of people where very negative at my desicion to keep the baby abortion was never going to happen with me (but everyone is different) i really feel for her as i know what it was like for me and and she is so much younger make sure she knows that you are there for her thats what i would do i dont think there is any reason to get angry this is a situation that needs love and care to get through, being angry will just push her away and make her feel isolated you sound like a great and understanding mum and whatever happens as my 95 year old gran says everything always turns out alright in the end and she should know

poppyfield19

Thank you Glad things turned out okay for you. That is my worry - anger will just push her away, when she needs support, not pushed away.

Thanks savingmummy, my daughter has always worked very hard at school and a baby isn't going to stop her going on to do well for herself I'm sure.

poppyfield19

I'm signing off for a while now - thanks everyone that has been supportive.

poppyfield19

As I said above and as others said if she has this baby that doesn't mean she is going to spend her life on benifets. She's a hard working girl who is serious about school and has always wanted to do well at school and get a good job. Whatever she decides to do will be her decision.

Torry_Quine

poppyfield19 wrote: »

Thank you Glad things turned out okay for you. That is my worry - anger will just push her away, when she needs support, not pushed away.

Thanks savingmummy, my daughter has always worked very hard at school and a baby isn't going to stop her going on to do well for herself I'm sure.

It's perfectly understandable that you feel angry, just hold on to the fact that she felt able to share this with you. The anger will pass and I'm sure you'll be able to give her the support she needs. :A

AmandaD28

poppyfield19 wrote: »

Thanks - might go and get a takeaway (and pick up a pregnancy test too, so we can do that again in the morning) and try and relax a bit tonight.

I am so so glad that she has felt she could tell me about the pregnancy, even if it was by phone. I know that we can get through this together, whatever she decides to do.

Hi,

I have no practical advice to offer at all but I wanted to say how much of a lovely mum you sound, when I got pregnant at 18yrs both mum and dad gave me the disappointed speech I'd moved out and lived with my boyfriend at the time and I have never forgotten it I obviously wasn't as young as she is but I would have really loved my mum just to give me a hug and tell me she loved me and that everything would work out she did eventually but the first bit had already made me cry many tears.

Whatever she decides is best for her I feel certain you will support her she is a very lucky girl and she clearly knows that or she wouldn't have told you

Good luck OP I too would encourage her to come home she isn't the only preson to ever get pregnant young and she will survive with you at her side.

xx

Person_one

Try not to let your feelings about abortion be too obvious. She has to be able to make a completely free choice that is all about her, not about how her mum feels. Even if you're almost sure she'll keep the baby, don't make any assumptions and don't give the impression that any one option is the one you'd prefer or expect.

You sound really sensible and caring, so I'm sure you will do all that anyway, but its hard not to let our own feelings show through. You just have to be a solid supportive presence, whatever she decides.

Best of luck to both of you. x

meer53

Some good advice, i have a daughter and know that you must be feeling very anxious for her, i know i would. My advice would be to let her do what she wants for the next few days, when she comes home tomorrow, give her a huge hug and tell her you love her and that whatever she decides you'll be there for her. It's all you can do for now. A few days thinking about things will help, no need to rush into any decisions just yet. Ignore the nasty replies on here, they're not worth reading. Good luck xxxxxx