Daughter is pregnant - at 15!

Torry_Quine

It is good that she has felt able to tell you this. Obviously this has been a shock to both of you but once the initial shock is passed you will get over this. Whatever she decides she can go on from this to have a full life. All the best

System

Also have a look at this thread https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3182704 the Op went through a similar thing with his daughter and some replies might help you too x

poppyfield19

I think you're right mandi, she knew she was staying at her friends (in fact asked me quite a few times if she could this weekend). I'm about to call her and ask her if she wants to come home, and if she wants to she can. But I do think she will want to stay with her friend tonight which is okay - we can talk tomorrow. I'll definitely make sure she knows I love her very much...

poppyfield19

Thank you.

Messedup - thanks for the link, I'll have a look at it now

poppyfield19

Sorry to post 3 times in a row - my daughter has decided she would rather stay at her friends house and talk it through in the morning.

January20

meg72 wrote: »

Big Hugs, you have been given really good advice here andI cant think of anything to add except ignore the nasty they thrive onthe
attention,with a bit of luck they will get bored and go away.

The very very best of luck to you and your daughter in whatever
you decide.

I know have 5 posters on my ignore list. Dehanni is one of them. It's bliss to not have to read the hatred and stupidity in their posts.

OP, I have no advice, not much to say apart from agreeing with you that being angry is not going to help either your or your daughter.

jpwhittle

poppyfield19 wrote: »

Thanks - no it is really just me and my kids. She has 2 younger sisters who are at their aunts house tonight.

in that case i would go and get her tonight, if the house is quiet it means you can talk through everything wiht out any disturbaces. would be much easier for you both

ceebeeby

OP - sounds like a good idea as will give you both some thinking time.

Do you have a partner / husband sharing this with you. If not, could you ask a girlfriend over - you also need support at this time, even if it is a hanky / wine / chocolate session it may be useful for you to have someone to share your angst with in person.

(sorry, I'm so slow at typing it now looks as though I'm responding to JPW ... but I meant good that she was staying at friends - plus I see you've answered the bit about support too)

Little_Vics

I'm a youth worker, and have had to face this before.

Firstly, she needs to know that you love her and will support her, no matter what her choices have/will be and what the consequences are. She needs unconditional love and support from you.

Secondly, get her to a doctor. They are trained and qualified to deal with this. They may well refer her for some specialist counselling if she doesn't want to keep the baby. They'll also do all the usual medical stuff.

Thirdly - and this is the hardest - you need to talk to her and decide what to do legally. She is underage, so a crime has been committed.

Fourthly, you need to look after yourself too. Make sure you have someone you can talk to.

Fifthly, it's going to be very hard for her not to become the brunt of gossip. This will upset both of you, naturally. Talk to the school and any other organisations she's involved in - they need to know what she's going though, especially if she's in the middle of exams.

There are many many helplines both of you can call to get some advice. One that I refer my youth to is called Image - link here. http://www.careconfidential.com/Manchester-central/Default.aspx - they are brilliant.

Please pm me if you want to chat, or ask any questions.

LV x

MessyMare

I would agree with the poster who said about the STD test too...tricky one to bring up but it really is important. You seem to be dealing with a very difficult situation very well, I hope everything goes well in the end, whatever your daughter decides x