Daughter is pregnant - at 15!

paddy's_mum

Do the parents of the friend know, do you think? If they do, perhaps they'll be able to offer dispassionate support while you talk to your daughter over the phone (assuming she is willing) to get the answers that you yourself need in order to make sense of the whole situation.

She may be happy to answer you over the phone (as the lesser of two evils, as it were) especially as she has herself already indicated that facing you in person is terrifying.

What a pickle. Good luck.

savingmummy

Firstly it is great she confided in you and has told you. That must of been so hard for her to do even if it was a phone call!
Can you imagine being 15 and having to do that?!
I would praise her for telling you and have a good chat with her, without being hot headed or too pushy. She will tell you the hows whats and whys once she knows your on her side and being a support!

Once you know what happened and what is going to be her plan then you can start to go from there.

poppyfield19

Thank you so much summerday. I'm going to let her stay at her friends tonight mainly so I can try and think it through a bit more, you're right though, she must be in real shock herself. She's just a child herself really.

mishkanorman

I would give her a call and just let her know you are freaking out but will be there for a big hug in the morning and you will talk to her about it all then, poor little mite must be in a total spin.

poppyfield19

Thanks McKneff, I didn't know if I should say anything in reply to those posts but they really aren't helping, especially not now.

No the parents there definitely don't know, she begged me on the phone to not tell anybody and she was phoning from the garden. I don't know if any friends know but I think it's just me, and her.

Thanks again for all of the replies x

HRV

Whilst Im sure it's a complete shock I want to share a positive story.
My best friend at school got pregnant at 16 (before her GCSEs) she did have a boyfirend.
She decided to keep her baby- baby's dad stood by her and her parents were supportive (once her dad got over the shock- he didnt speak for some days- they are a christian family and so was difficult for them to deal with)
She remained living at home whilst she did her a levels (achieving an A and 2 Bs) decided not to go to uni but got a traineeship with accountancy firm- her and baby's dad got a house and moved in. Things didnt work out with baby's dad but she completed her accountancy exams etc
She's now 29- happily married with another little boy and obviously her first son (shared residency with dad), working in a very successful career, well paid and has a very positive relationship her sons dad too.

Just thought Id share a positive story where the support of a family and very hard work can mean a really successful outcome- it doesnt have to be the end of the world.

Oldernotwiser

By the way, I don't think that there's anything wrong with being angry.

poppyfield19

Thank you for posting HRV It's good to hear a positive story x

Poppy9

I'm so sorry for the situation you find yourself in. I have a 16 year old DD and if she told me this my instinct would be to go get her, bring her home and hold her. She must be so scared and upset. Upset at herself, upset at letting you down etc. She's made a mistake, but it's a mistake that thousands of people make.

If she doesn't have a regular boyfriend then she might be beating herself up for having a one night stand, especially if drink was involved. Whatever, I'd want my DD home with me, just so I could be with her, cry with her etc.

This is not the end of the world but it is a time for difficult choices and they have to be her choices. As she is now realising, she is growing up and having to take responsibilities for her actions.

Stay apart tonight and you will both spend a sleepless night, bring her home and talk. She needs you now.

I hope you all reach the right decision and things work out.

poppyfield19

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

By the way, I don't think that there's anything wrong with being angry.

I don't see what being angry with my daughter is going to gain, I don't know the full situation yet so getting angry with her seems unfair and pointless.