Daughter is pregnant - at 15!

poppyfield19

Thanks Torry - I hope so too.

Welshdebtor

poppyfield19 wrote: »

Beki please don't apologise at all. I really appreciate that so many people have shared their experiences and stories - I've not been in the situation myself so it's good to hear from people that have if that makes sense.

The doctor did stress to her that abortion shouldn't be thought of as an easy way out. The baby might be gone but that doesn't mean it's over, and you have to think carefully before you do something like that.

How common is adoption nowadays? The doctor mentioned it, gave her a leaflet, but didn't talk as much about it. I just don't know if that would be really... worse for her, having a baby and then handing it over. I'm not sure that is the right thing for her and she hasn't mentioned it so I'm assuming she thinks the same.

I'm quite confident that if she does keep the baby she will still go on to do well even with a baby.

1in 5 pregnancies result in an abortion.

See here for further stats - http://www.fpa.org.uk/professionals/factsheets/abortion#england-wales

edit - misread lol you said adoption.........oops

gizmo111

poppyfield19 wrote: »

Beki please don't apologise at all. I really appreciate that so many people have shared their experiences and stories - I've not been in the situation myself so it's good to hear from people that have if that makes sense.

The doctor did stress to her that abortion shouldn't be thought of as an easy way out. The baby might be gone but that doesn't mean it's over, and you have to think carefully before you do something like that.

How common is adoption nowadays? The doctor mentioned it, gave her a leaflet, but didn't talk as much about it. I just don't know if that would be really... worse for her, having a baby and then handing it over. I'm not sure that is the right thing for her and she hasn't mentioned it so I'm assuming she thinks the same.

I'm quite confident that if she does keep the baby she will still go on to do well even with a baby.

Social Services as said by others, will become involved/be made aware as she is under 16.

Unless there are CP issues we will not be the slightest bit interested.

Adoption is hardest option as she will get to meet her baby, most likely bond with it and then decide to give it away, I suspect most of these planned in this way never happen as the emotional ties would be too strong.

I'm wondering if this was a fling because she was hurt by your husband leaving - did it all happen around the same time?

LadyMorticia

Poppyfield - Just want to say that I think you and your DD's dad are being wonderful and supportive parents and I wish you all well no matter what your DD decides to do.:grouphug:

poppyfield19

No her dad left us just over a year ago - doesn't feel like that long ago.

poppyfield19

LadyMorticia wrote: »

Poppyfield - Just want to say that I think you and your DD's dad are being wonderful and supportive parents and I wish you all well no matter what your DD decides to do.:grouphug:

Thank you. :A

savingmummy

We had a pregnant girl in my year at school (she was 15) and she continued with school right up to the birth literally lol! Waters broke during maths gcse exam.
The school allowed her to leave class 5 mins early to get safely to the next class, she was exempt from PE apart form that she was treated the same.
She obviously couldnt wear the school skirt so just wore a black maternity one with a white blouse.

She suffered no problems at school just general staring and asking of questions but apart from that she was fine! Depending on the school it can be fine for her to continue schooling with friends and teachers she know well.

lizzie_b

I just wanted to say I hope when I get pregnant my parents take the news as well as you have OP (and I'm very nearly 26!!) you should be so proud and your daughter is so lucky to have a fantastic mum
One of my good friends at school got pregnant at 15 (in fact she may still have been 14) she stayed in school right up to the end of the summer term (July) had her son in the August, then returned to school the following January and sat her GCSE's that summer with the rest of us, and she wasnt ever the best of students. It sounds to me like whatever your daughter decides she wont lose her passion for her studies. xxx

gizmo111

poppyfield19 wrote: »

No her dad left us just over a year ago - doesn't feel like that long ago.

And I guess you are still hurting from that as well.

I wouldn't approach the school until you have to which may well be not until end of year, on the other hand it may be never if she chooses termination.

Re the father there is so much speculation on here if it was my daughter I think I'd have been so spooked Id have alerted the FBI, CIA, Special Branch and Serious and Organised Squad to analyse the situation for me but it is just speculation and nasty minds in some cases, you know your daughter best and I suspect from expereince working with kids/teens that she is so embarrased she won't tell you till after she has checked out dad (hers) reaction at the weekend. Also bear in mind she will be worried about how you will react and that you are alone as well.
Is the aunty someone she would talk to?

Take Care

Tish_P

The common theme in this thread seems to be that the women with regrets and guilt - whether that's about adoption, abortion or early motherhood - are the ones who were pushed into a decision that wasn't the one their heart would have taken. Your daughter won't be like that as you have kept the pressure off her and are encouraging her to take her own choice. So don't stress about what-ifs: whatever she chooses will be the right course of action long-term, pretty much by definition.