Daughter is pregnant - at 15!

Welshdebtor

Frugalista wrote: »

Ooh! The poor little loves !

Strange how other young mums can cope with being pregnant, carrying older babies/toddlers/shopping, etc, etc. Many expectant mums even hold down physical jobs as well as running a home!

The world has gone mad :eek:!!!

Alot of businesses now do the same restrictions/considerations with pregnant employees. Restricting/considering amount of time sat still at a desk or driving, time stood up is a big one in retail and etc.

It's down to duty of care mainly but I am sure there is a hint of "where there's blame, there's a claim".

janninew

Frugalista wrote: »

Ooh! The poor little loves !

Strange how other young mums can cope with being pregnant, carrying older babies/toddlers/shopping, etc, etc. Many expectant mums even hold down physical jobs as well as running a home!

The world has gone mad :eek:!!!

Maybe so, but the school has a responsibility to protect children when they are on the premises.

Not entirely sure the sarcasm was called for. I was just explaining how pregnant teens are helped at the school I work in.

janninew

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

Have you been in a school corridor recently when it's lesson changeover time? It is like a scene from a disaster film when everyone's trying to get onto the last boat leaving the harbour!

Come 2.55pm being in the main school corridor where I work is an overwhelming place to be, nearly 2000 children all pushing to get out the doors! Kids seem to be getting bigger and taller as well these days! Lots are bigger than me!

Not sure where you would experience that volume of people in a small space outside a school.

Plans_all_plans

I just think it shows consideration for employees and students. When I was pregnant, my employers used to let me come in late and leave early to avoid the rush hour on the tube, without a reduced pay cheque. I was grateful to them for this as I did not relish standing on a packed tube and train when hardly anyone bothered to give up their seat!

mountainofdebt

Having thought about this thread today, I was surprised to find myself getting annoyed (and yes a tad angry) with the OP's daughter.

Not at her getting pregnant (there for the grace of God etc) but for the way she's treating her mum, who tbh is being a saint.

Her mum hasn't gone off the deep end with her (even her father has taken it relatively calmly), has told her that she will support any decision she makes - and lets face facts at 14 weeks pregnant her options are now seriously disappearing rapidly, to the extent that in my opinion there is only 2 viable options left open to her - and yet the only question that her mum has asked her, she refuses to answer.

For what its worth I'm guessing that the father is an older brother of a friend and is perhaps doing A Levels at the mo.....she may be stalling so that he can get his exams out of the way and then the !!!! can hit the fan - at least then she will never be blamed for causing him to fail his exams. That doesn't mean she shouldn't be honest with the OP though now.

poppyfield19

Thanks for your replies. Art, that is a good point, it is very close to the holidays.

She'll be setting her exams in 2012.

I have spoken to her about homeschooling and she thinks that would be the best idea.

She just said to me, she wonders if getting an abortion would be the right thing to do, because she worries that if she has a baby, the baby will suffer, and she won't be a good mum. She doesn't want to rush into something but she said if she is getting an abortion she would rather it was sooner rather than later.

gordikin

The amount of guesswork going on this thread as to who the father is astonishes me. I don't think it's helpful IMHO.

postingalwaysposting

Poppy, I have been reading and following alone. I hope that whatever happens your daughter is happy with her decision. But I must say it shows what a great mother you are that your daughter turned to you in this situation. Keep positive

pigpen wrote: »

Teenage pregnancy is the norm here.. if you don't have a child or been pregnant at some point by the age of 20 there is usually something 'wrong with you' apparently!

Charming! What if it's your choice not to have children, are you then shunned into the 'abnormal' box? Oh how people judge other's

poppyfield19

Thanks for your kind words x

Plans_all_plans

At least she is talking to you about her thought processes. That is a good sign.

You will have a good idea yourself whether she will be able to rise to the challenges of motherhood and you will know exactly how much of a support system you are able to provide for her. It is important that she doesn't see abortion as her only option though, it seemed to me like it was my only sensible option too and I was 20!!

There are a few organisations (the one I will suggest here is pro-life) that may be able to help with regard to having a child young http://www.lifecharity.org.uk/at-school-and-pregnant and you could contact them for advice if you feel it sensible to do so.

I also think that her thoughts are entirely normal for pregnant women! Plenty of mums I know admit to being petrified as to whether they'd be any good at being a mum when they were pregnant.

It would be a big lifestyle change for a 15 year old to become a mum obviously, but if you are able and willing to help support her with childcare, housing etc, she wil be better able to cope. You need to tell her exactly what support you can give, before she makes her decision.

Best wishes.