Daughter is pregnant - at 15!

Jesswithwings

shop-to-drop wrote: »

Sorry if Ive missed it but I haven't seen any mention of going to the doctor. I would have thought it crucial to go to asap. The doctor will be able to give you advice and support. I would also let the head at school know as soon as she goes back. I'd get an appointment and go to see him/her in person you can insist it is not to go any further than you and him/her and the school nurse but again they could be fantastic support for both you and your daughter at this time. Also in these health and safety obsessed days the school probably needs to know for insurance reasons.

They went to the docs yesterday :0)

shop-to-drop

looby75 wrote: »

Poppy took her daughter to the doctor yesterday, which is when she found out she was 14 weeks pg.

Thank you must have missed that post. I had wondered how they knew for sure it was 14 weeks.

2010

Amazing 70,000 views and nearly 800 posts for something that happens no end of times every day.

melancholly

poppyfield19 wrote: »

Thanks for your replies. I do feels as though I have rushed her into (tried to rush her into! ) telling me about the father.... mainly because I wanted to put my mind at rest. I still do, but I don't want to upset her, and to be honest I think that is all I am doing at the moment - upsetting her.

She could have sneaked off school yes, that's possible.

Thank you for the support x

i don't think you should 'worry' about rushing her. you have only had a few days to come to terms with this - she has an extra month on you with this information! i completely understand her being scared and her initial reaction seems entirely normal. however, she's going to need to make some very adult decisions very soon and pregnancy isn't something you can stick your head in the sand with for very long....

i'm not saying push too hard, but she's in a situation with difficult choices to make, and you simply can't protect her from being upset, no matter how much you want to. there is no easy solution right now. she must realise how many worst case scenarios you can have thought up.... i guess i hope she moves out of 'panic' mode soon as possible so you can start to move forward and plan.

POPPYOSCAR

Beki88 wrote: »

You may be surprised as well at how supportive school will be, especially in regards to absence, obviously they will want her to attend but will be sympathetic, and they may point you in the right directions.

School were fab with me when I was pregnant, especially when I was chucking up during my GCSE's!

That would depend very much on the school in question. I would very much doubt the response would be that good from my daughters school.
Some teachers do not seem to be able to put their personal beliefs and prejudices to one side.

Anyway, I am only saying what I would do in the circumstances, Poppyfield may well want to let the school know what is happening if her daughter returns to school before any decisions have been made, I am not saying she should not tell the school. Just my personal opinion.

savingmummy

poppyfield19 wrote: »

The only time she's out "alone" is when she walks the dogs. The reading club, it's not a friend she goes with, but I really don't think that's likely, considering there are always other pupils there.

I am puzzled as i`m sure you are as this has happened IF she is never out and about!
Did you go away 14-16weeks ago? any parties etc.

Did the GP not mention anything regarding STI check etc? I would of thought they would be going through that with her to rule out any `issues` regarding how the pregnancy happened.

poet123

Errata wrote: »

The school needs to know so it knows what to do if there is an accident or injury or the girl suddenly becomes ill. I doubt in an emergency the girl will want to let everyone dealing with it know that she's pregnant - she may not even be capable of telling them.

I don't agree. She is not ill, she is pregnant, just as she has been whilst in school for the last 14 weeks. I would simply say that there is a family issue and that if for any reason my daughter needs to come home then I should be contacted immediately. At this stage, and until a decision has been arrived at, they need know no more than that.

Person_one

bagginslover wrote: »

The school will also need to know due to her science lessons.

I work in a school science dept, so I know that many of the chemicals they use in experiments can be harmful to the unborn child exposure to these can result in miscarriage and foetal abnormalities, so it is imperative that they are told if she returns to school whilst still pregnant. Even if she has decided to terminate, she could change her mind, and that risk isn't worth taking for the little she will miss from sitting out of a few experiments.

The school do need to know.

Call the school nurse service and I'm sure they'll help you handle it.

As well as the above which is a very good point, if something did happen to her, such as a collapse, an injury, something wrong with the baby etc. then before they call you they would call an ambulance one would hope. Any medical staff treating your daughter need to know she's 14 weeks pregnant. Even if its something as simple as a broken ankle falling off the bus would your daughter know that special precautions are needed for x rays? Some drugs given in emergencies are harmful to pregnant women too.

Everything crossed that nothing bad will happen, but better safe than sorry, and you can guarantee this isn't the first time the school have dealt with this.

poppyfield19

The doctor said to us that they could help us with informing the school, but we had to as she's under 16 and if anything happened to her the school should know she's pregnant. I'm not going to phone them this week though. She isn't going back until next Monday at least, I've phoned the school and they know this.

Welshdebtor

Regarding telling the school now, using my experience of working with teens I think personally it may be best they are told asap regardless of her choice in the coming weeks.

There are times when a child may have medical aid without the parent(s) being told beforehand (unless there was a chance to ring). I have known children getting taken to hospital for x rays (I believe these are risky if pregnant, hence my choosing that as an example) due to their injuries, and their parents not being aware until such action has been taken (mostly through failing to get through to the emergency contact number, and it deemed serious enough for medical aid to be offered before that contact).

With the science lesson risks mentioned by a poster above, I understand the risks you mention, but wouldn't her "sitting out" experiments get her classmates suspicious?

The science lessens apart, maybe she could keep it to herself and if needed bring it up as and when.....i.e. taken to hospital/offered something risky to pregnant females, informs them she is pregnant. Though that of course still leaves the risk from science lessons which have been mentioned.

If the school is informed though, I think you would find it hard just to contain it to one teacher. As P.E teacher would have to know, science teacher, head of year, any First Aid Trained Staff etc etc.

Edit - I need to stop getting distracted because by the time I publish my post others have beaten me to it lol