Daughter is pregnant - at 15!

Beki88

Welshdebtor wrote: »

Social Services as said by others, will become involved/be made aware as she is under 16.

Not always true, it more often than not depends on if sexual abuse is present and there is no proof of this. Their budget is stretched so most likely wont consider "another teenage pregnancy" as high on the list. Especially given that her mum is being so supportive.

Poppy, I know it must be playing on your mind but I think you should give her some time, I know I am in the minority with that, but I am speaking from my own experience. The first week after finding out and telling my mum was such a blur I didn't have time to think about anything. Maybe she just needs a few days to get her head settled.
Your continuous support will be reassuring her that when the time comes that she is ready she will be able to talk to you. *hugs*

Molly41

nicter wrote: »

I would have thought if OPs daughter had been a victim to unwanted sexual attention she would want to terminae the pregnancy asap so hopefuly this was a youngster. Hugs to you poppy x

I once looked after a young girl who turned up in labour via A and E who had been the subject of an unwanted encounter and who had totally wiped out any details of who the father was because she was so traumatised. I agree with Jackie G - she will tell you in her own time. Often going over the whys and wherefores is like living the incident over again and can be very traumatising.

Welshdebtor

Beki88 wrote: »

Not always true, it more often than not depends on if sexual abuse is present and there is no proof of this. Their budget is stretched so most likely wont consider "another teenage pregnancy" as high on the list. Especially given that her mum is being so supportive.

Poppy, I know it must be playing on your mind but I think you should give her some time, I know I am in the minority with that, but I am speaking from my own experience. The first week after finding out and telling my mum was such a blur I didn't have time to think about anything. Maybe she just needs a few days to get her head settled.
Your continuous support will be reassuring her that when the time comes that she is ready she will be able to talk to you. *hugs*

They are always informed though. But as you said (and I hope my post highlighted) they rarely take it forward.

adouglasmhor

Poppyfield19 - I hope you take a little time for yourself in the middle of all this, you are obviously handling this with a lot of dignity but you have to let some stress go as well.

POPPYOSCAR

I don't think the school etc. need to know about her pregnancy until decisions have been made if it is to continue or not.It is bound to get around and her life may be made hell.

I would not tell my daughters school if she was about to have an abortion ,only if she were going to continue with the pregnancy.

She only has to say to her friends when she goes back that she had a bug, there is so much of it around at the moment(my daughter was recently off school for a week with one)

poppyfield19

Thanks for your replies. I do feels as though I have rushed her into (tried to rush her into! ) telling me about the father.... mainly because I wanted to put my mind at rest. I still do, but I don't want to upset her, and to be honest I think that is all I am doing at the moment - upsetting her.

She could have sneaked off school yes, that's possible.

Thank you for the support x

Make-it-3

Sorry if someone else has said something similar, but this thread is moving too fast for me to keep up, so I'm just reading Pollyfield's updates. Pollyfield, you didn't say what you put in your letter, but have you been able to voice to her that by not giving even a tiny clue as to the father, that she is causing you to think the worse and this is eating you up with worry when you just want to be able to give her the support she needs going forward. I don't think you should play detective and start guessing or asking around, it may make your daughter lose her trust in you. I would be reassuring her that whatever the circumstances that brought about the pregnancy, that you will totally respect her wishes on how she wants to deal with it.

Beki88

Welshdebtor wrote: »

They are always informed though. But as you said (and I hope my post highlighted) they rarely take it forward.

Yes it did sorry I was just in a bit of a rush reading through everything, seems as I get to the bottom of one page there is another new one! Sorry if I seemed a bit ignorant

poppyfield19

Make-it-3 wrote: »

Sorry if someone else has said something similar, but this thread is moving too fast for me to keep up, so I'm just reading Pollyfield's updates. Pollyfield, you didn't say what you put in your letter, but have you been able to voice to her that by not giving even a tiny clue as to the father, that she is causing you to think the worse and this is eating you up with worry when you just want to be able to give her the support she needs going forward. I don't think you should play detective and start guessing or asking around, it may make your daughter lose her trust in you. I would be reassuring her that whatever the circumstances that brought about the pregnancy, that you will totally respect her wishes on how she wants to deal with it.

My letter was just how worried I was, and if it was easier for her to write back rather than talk etc. I tried to not ask any questions as such. She ended up just giving me the letter back and said she 'couldn't reply' to it right now.

POPPYOSCAR

adouglasmhor wrote: »

Poppyfield19 - I hope you take a little time for yourself in the middle of all this, you are obviously handling this with a lot of dignity but you have to let some stress go as well.

Yes, this is a good point.

I hope you have someone that can support you as well.