Daughter is pregnant - at 15!

Plans_all_plans

If I were you, I'd be putting pressure on her to tell you now.

She might not even know who he is if she only just met him and is saying he'll be angry cos she's embarrassed she doesn't know him properly.

I don't think you're a bad parent for not getting it out of her, but you can't go on much longer without knowing, for your own peace of mind.

ETA: maybe you could ask her "do you know 100% for sure who the father is?" Make sure she knows you won't love her any less whatever she answers.

ladybez

Poppy, I have followed this from the beginning and think you are being a fantastic Mum. I also have a 15 year old daughter and I'm sure I would not deal so well with it if she became pregnant. I have to say I am also hearing alarm bells ringing about her reluctance to say who the dad is. I wonder if there is any way of approaching her school along the lines of "I have noticed my daughters behaviour changing recently, has anything been noticed about her "hanging out" with any different pupils?"
Love and <hugs>

poppyfield19

I'm just not sure how to make her tell me to be honest.

It can't be the 19 year old brother as he is rarely at home, as I said earlier there's definitely a 17 year old and I don't know anything about him but he does live at home. That could explain her not telling her friends, I might ask her why she hasn't. She always speaks to them about personal issues, so I was a bit suprised she hadn't told any of them. She does still see that friend/go to her house.

She's still having a think about the support group, I think she will probably go along to that, and they have one-to-one sessions.

Over half term we went away for a week and then she spent almost all of her time looking after one of ours dogs who was sick Really wasn't out at all during half term.

ladybez

Poppy, sorry don't type as fast as some. When/if she attends her booking appointment, she does not have to give any details about the father.

poppyfield19

Thank you. I was wondering if I should speak to the school, or even, her friends mum(s). Do you think that's a bad or good idea?

Jo.1981

Hi Poppy

I've been following since you first posted and please don't feel that you are being a bad parent. I think you are doing the best you can in the situation.

She opened up eventually about the pregnancy, she may open up in her own time about the father. I'm just wondering if one of the concerns your daughter has is if she tells you who the father is, that you'll contact his family.

shellsuit

poppyfield19 wrote: »

I'm just not sure how to make her tell me to be honest.

It can't be the 19 year old brother as he is rarely at home, as I said earlier there's definitely a 17 year old and I don't know anything about him but he does live at home. That could explain her not telling her friends, I might ask her why she hasn't. She always speaks to them about personal issues, so I was a bit suprised she hadn't told any of them. She does still see that friend/go to her house.

She's still having a think about the support group, I think she will probably go along to that, and they have one-to-one sessions.

Over half term we went away for a week and then she spent almost all of her time looking after one of ours dogs who was sick Really wasn't out at all during half term.

It's a puzzle, but one that does need solving ASAP.

Why not try something like "sweetheart, I know you don't want to say who the Dad is, but you are going to have to tell someone, so wouldn't you rather that person was me? I love you and I am here for you no matter what, so please trust me and tell me, as I won't think bad of you at all. I just need to know so I know so I can help you"?

shellsuit

poppyfield19 wrote: »

Thank you. I was wondering if I should speak to the school, or even, her friends mum(s). Do you think that's a bad or good idea?

You could speak to the school, after all, if she continues with the pregnancy, they will need to know.

I'd be wary of contacting her friends Mum's incase they let it slip to her friends, you don't want to fall out with your daughter at this stage. But saying that, if it did slip to her friends, maybe one of them could shed some light on the situation.

Maybe you could tell your daughter that is what you're planning to do, see if she opens up a bit more?

poppyfield19

Will try something along those lines. I'm getting upset over this now, I don't know why she won't just say. It's worrying - very.

poppyfield19

Yes I thought that after I typed it, might not be best spreading it around to her friends mums when she decided against telling her friends to start with. I might say to her I'm considering talking to the school and see what she says.