Daughter is pregnant - at 15!

Person_one

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Yes of course, but by the same token my teenage children would be there for me in a crisis as well.

Well my friend, although not best pleased at the time tells me that she is glad that it happened that way that she had them so young, and that she is living her life to the full now that they are offhand.So although not ideal for everyone for some it can be a good thing and not just making the best of it.

I don't think this is a convincing argument in favour of teenage pregnancy though! You don't have to have your kids quite so young to have a life afterwards. My parents were in their twenties when they had their babies, had an empty nest while they were in their forties and grandchildren before 50, they have decades of unencumbered freedom to look forward to, hopefully.

If the OP's daughter doesn't become a parent now, it doesn't mean she has to wait till she's 34 to, she can go on to have children at 20 or 21, or 25 if she's in a position to and meets the right person to have them with.

Person_one

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I was answering another poster who said that your daughter must have " a good head on her shoulders". I'm sure she's absolutely delightful but you really cannot describe a girl of 15 (especially without a boyfriend) who has become pregnant in that way.

Even without bringing a moral dimension into things, you have to admit that she's behaved incredibly stupidly.

Of course, I wish you both well both this afternoon and in the future but don't get too carried away with thinking that she's sensible and mature because that obviously isn't the case.

Ok, I'll admit it, I was having sex at 15. I used contraception but it isn't foolproof and it takes a bit of getting used to anyway when its all brand new. In another universe, I could easily have been pregnant at 15 and I'm betting so could an awful lot of posters on here.

Can you honestly say you waited until you were in a financial and emotional position where you were ready for children before you had sex? Even if you can probably 80% of the population can't!

Its shockingly easy to get pregnant, its happening all over the world as we type, there's a multi-billion pound industry in preventing pregnancy its that darn easy to do. Being one of the unlucky ones does not automatically make you stupid, immature, reckless, immoral, mature, sensible, intelligent or anything else, apart from pregnant!

POPPYOSCAR

Person_one wrote: »

I don't think this is a convincing argument in favour of teenage pregnancy though! You don't have to have your kids quite so young to have a life afterwards. My parents were in their twenties when they had their babies, had an empty nest while they were in their forties and grandchildren before 50, they have decades of unencumbered freedom to look forward to, hopefully.

If the OP's daughter doesn't become a parent now, it doesn't mean she has to wait till she's 34 to, she can go on to have children at 20 or 21, or 25 if she's in a position to and meets the right person to have them with.

No I agree with you and I don't think teenage pregnancy is a good thing, I just don't agree with those that say it automatically ruins your life and your life is over from then on. I do not want my daughter to get pregnant as a teenager but if she did and she wanted to keep the baby it would not be the end of the world and I would do my utmost to support her and help her in anyway I could.

Oldernotwiser

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Who said it was?

We are older than our thirties and I think you would be very disappointed in us then!!!

I think that you would be very surprised if you knew what teenagers actually got up to and would not want to emulate them.

peachyprice

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I think that you would be very surprised if you knew what teenagers actually got up to and would not want to emulate them.

I remember, clear as day, that's what's so worrying

Bloomin_Freezing2

Person_one Ok, I'll admit it, I was having sex at 15.

Me too, what does that make us? lol

I wonder what comments would be if this thread was "my 15 yr old dd is having s*x' Would people say she is being raped, or she's silly and stupid? Or would they say they hope she was being careful? Maybe the op's dd was being careful but it failed for whatever reason.

POPPYOSCAR

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I think that you would be very surprised if you knew what teenagers actually got up to and would not want to emulate them.

I was a teenager once you know!!!!

Bloomin_Freezing2

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I was a teenager once you know!!!!

Maybe ONW was born an old fogey?

Oldernotwiser

Person_one wrote: »

Ok, I'll admit it, I was having sex at 15. I used contraception but it isn't foolproof and it takes a bit of getting used to anyway when its all brand new. In another universe, I could easily have been pregnant at 15 and I'm betting so could an awful lot of posters on here.

Can you honestly say you waited until you were in a financial and emotional position where you were ready for children before you had sex? Even if you can probably 80% of the population can't!

Its shockingly easy to get pregnant, its happening all over the world as we type, there's a multi-billion pound industry in preventing pregnancy its that darn easy to do. Being one of the unlucky ones does not automatically make you stupid, immature, reckless, immoral, mature, sensible, intelligent or anything else, apart from pregnant!

I wasn't having sex at this age, one of the reasons being that there was no really reliable method of contraception available before the pill came into use. Nowadays you have to go around with ears and eyes closed not be aware of how many methods there are, both before and after having sex.

The attitude that it's just a matter of luck not to get pregnant does a great disservice to women and particularly young single girls who may well decide not to bother if responsible adults tell them that it all comes down to luck!

Perhaps this viewpoint is one of the reasons that the UK has such a high rate of teenage pregnancy - perhaps they're all just "unlucky"!

peachyprice

Bloomin_Freezing2 wrote: »

I wonder what comments would be if this thread was "my 15 yr old dd is having s*x' Would people say she is being raped, or she's silly and stupid? Or would they say they hope she was being careful? Maybe the op's dd was being careful but it failed for whatever reason.

But that's the thing that is so worrying about OP's situation. Her DD sounds like a perfect teen, rarely going out, no boyfriend, studying, planning her future, spending time in her room listening to music, making sure her little sisters are happy. So just how did she manage to get pregnant?

If it had been a case of 'My DD and her BF of how ever many months have been having sex and have found themselves pregnant' it would be a completley different discussion.

OP must be going out of her mind with worry just when and with whom this has happened.