Daughter is pregnant - at 15!

gizmo111

Errata wrote: »

It may be if the foster carer(s) are members of the parents' extended family.

In which case social services will look for permenancy for this child and it will be most likely be Special Guardianship/Residence Order. Fostering a small baby for life is not an option that a court/social services will entertain family member or not.

Oldernotwiser

Bloomin_Freezing2 wrote: »

Seems to me that your daughter has a good head on her shoulders. I'm sure sh will make the best choice for herself and others concerned.

What on earth makes you think that - I would say quite the opposite!

peachyprice

viktory wrote: »

I am not 'banging on; as you so eloquently put it. I haven’t seen any posts like mine, actually outlining what the reality of life with a baby at the age of fifteen is going to be like. It is eminently possible that the OP is getting carried away with the emotion and romance of a new baby and I thought it important the other side of the coin is shown. While I fully appreciate the OP has *said* that the decision will be entirely her daughter’s own, I am not convinced she has given honest, hard headed, realistic information on the darker side of being a teenage, single parent. The OP may have been a single parent – but was she a teenage single parent?

Had the OP wished to only have posts where ((hugs)) and pats on the back are given, then perhaps she should have made it clear at the start. I had no idea one could only post if one was going to relentlessly congratulate the OP on what a wonderful mother she is. If this is the case, then please accept my apologies for trying to give a balanced view.

I actually agree with you. I find the idea of children having children deeply disturbing. But there do seem to be ALOT of people here who have been teenage mothers themselves and find nothing disturbing about it at all.

If any of my children are ever in this situation I will point out the facts exactly as you have stated and would sincerely hope they would consider not having the baby.

I guess we can all only go on our own experiences, if you were a teenage parent yourself you cannot understand the life your own child would be giving up if they follow in your footsteps. I lived my life to the full before having children at 30, in a way that would have been impossible with a child in tow. It's a life I would hope for for my own children.

As you say, it is so easy to get caught up in the 'romance' of a cute little baby, but when the mother is no more than a child herself there is no 'romance' IMO.

POPPYOSCAR

peachyprice wrote: »

I actually agree with you. I find the idea of children having children deeply disturbing. But there do seem to be ALOT of people here who have been teenage mothers themselves and find nothing disturbing about it at all.

If any of my children are ever in this situation I will point out the facts exactly as you have stated and would sincerely hope they would consider not having the baby.

I guess we can all only go on our own experiences, if you were a teenage parent yourself you cannot understand the life your own child would be giving up if they follow in your footsteps. I lived my life to the full before having children at 30, in a way that would have been impossible with a child in tow. It's a life I would hope for for my own children.

As you say, it is so easy to get caught up in the 'romance' of a cute little baby, but when the mother is no more than a child herself there is no 'romance' IMO.

But there is the other aspect to this as well that teenage mums will be still young enough when their kids are grown up to be able to 'live life to the full' as you put it, something that older mums may not be able to do.

I had my kids later in life first one at 34 but I have a friend who had her first child at 17 and when they were old enough was able to go on to have a good career, so there are advantages both ways in my eyes.

peachyprice

Yes, very true, but once you are a parent there is part of you that will always be thinking of your children. I don't think you can ever re-capture the carefree (and yes, selfish ) attitiude you have when you are young.

poppyfield19

Hi everyone.

Thanks for all of your responses once again. I don't think that abortion is the "only option". I have told her how hard it will be - whether she choses abortion, or if she continues with the pregnancy.

I'm not caught up in thinking how it's a cute little baby, keep it - not at all.

I don't have time to type a big post, we're going to the doctor this afternoon. They said on the phone that the doctor will discuss all of her options, including abortion. I don't want people to think I'm pushing her into keeping the baby, and she definitely hasn't made up her mind yet.

peachyprice

Good luck to you both this afternoon.

poppyfield19

peachyprice, I do agree with what you are saying. 15 to me is too young, although in a lot of ways she's a 'young woman', she is to me still my little girl in a lot of other ways.

I worry about how she'll cope with a baby - but I also worry about how she'd cope getting an abortion.

poppyfield19

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

What on earth makes you think that - I would say quite the opposite!

As I said before please don't 'judge' my daughter. Nobody knows the circumstances of the pregnancy yet, not even I do, so how can you say things like that.

vax2002

poppyfield19 wrote: »

As I said before please don't 'judge' my daughter. Nobody knows the circumstances of the pregnancy yet, not even I do, so how can you say things like that.

Dont you think it might form part of your parental responsibilities to find out what is going on, in case you need to stop it.