Daughter is pregnant - at 15!

make_me_wise

Dave101t wrote: »

to find out who the father was you will need to get the names of all the kids who were in 'attendance'.

Explain yourself. Come on big man stop talking criptic and say what you really mean.

I cannot fathom how your brain works that you actually spent time reading a thread and then responded in that manner. There is no thought or wish to help the OP, just pure mindless indecency. What a sad perv you are.

It is a revolting thing to suggest to the mother of a 15 year old who has found herself pregnant. Lets all hope that this girl fell pregnant through consensual sex and that she didn't endure the horror of gang r*** as you seem to be suggesting.

Bloody nora another one for the ignore list

POPPYOSCAR

Poppyfield 19 just wanted to wish you all the best at this difficult time for you, your daughter and your family.

My daughter is coming up to 15 and I have thought about this scenario and have discussed it with my Oh as to what we would do and he has completely opposed views to me on the matter so that in itself would be a problem.


Whatever you decide, you will come through this and I am sure your daughter will as well, because she obviously has wonderful support from you and who could ask for more.

harrys_nan

You have had some good advice and some rubbish comments, what ever your daughter does has to be the right decision for her and I'm sure with the support you are giving her it WILL be the right one.Dont let the negative comments influence the decisions made.

Hugs for you both:grouphug:

Person_one

Make-it-3 wrote: »

Just because "he would be angry" doesn't mean its a married man, it could be an angry youth, or maybe he would be angry because she had told him she had contraception covered, or maybe he wouldn't be angry but she said it to avoid drawing him into the equation.

Let's not get too hooked up on speculating who the father is because its not going to help the OP.The young lady has chosen to make her decision without consulting him (whether we think that is right or wrong) its her choice.

What would involving the father in the decision achieve? They aren't in a relationship, there are no guarantees he would provide support even if he says he does, the OP's daughter has to decide this purely based on her own feelings as she's the one facing the consequences. So what if he's going to be financially on the hook? Does that give him any rights over her body or her baby? No.

Unfortunately, until men can get pregnant they don't get a vote on whether a pregnancy is continued or not. Its entirely the mother's decision.

poet123

You are in a hard place right now, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. It may seem like the end of the world now, but truly, there are worse things to have to deal with.

I have a friend whose daughter got pregnant at 14, she kept the baby (but not the father!) and has gone on to get married, have three more lovely children and at 27 now has a Masters degree as well. Her parents only found out she was pregnant on the day she gave birth!!but they supported her through all the ups and downs and let her continue with her education. Not easy, but it can be done.

That is only one path however, and your daughter must decide what path is right for her. Good luck today.

Person_one

Oh, and I just wanted to point out that you won't find 'Post Abortion Syndrome' mentioned in any reputable psychiatric texts or journals. Not that some women don't struggle and have some emotional issues after terminations, but IMO these were either present beforehand or they weren't making the right decision for whatever reason.

'PAS' is an invention of the anti movement, the vast majority of women who have abortions don't suffer any major side effects, either physical or emotional. Please don't let scaremongerers influence how you communicate with your daughter about this.

poet123

Person_one wrote: »

Oh, and I just wanted to point out that you won't find 'Post Abortion Syndrome' mentioned in any reputable psychiatric texts or journals. Not that some women don't struggle and have some emotional issues after terminations, but IMO these were either present beforehand or they weren't making the right decision for whatever reason.

'PAS' is an invention of the anti movement, the vast majority of women who have abortions don't suffer any major side effects, either physical or emotional. Please don't let scaremongerers influence how you communicate with your daughter about this.

Not the right thread for this, but since you bring it to the table.

I am sorry but that is a very simplistic and quite upsetting(to those who have been affected by the very real issues here) statement to make. For some women there is trauma caused by termination, whether it is referred to as PAS or PTSD it does exist, and cannot be attributed to other issues in all cases.

Person_one

poet123 wrote: »

Not the right thread for this, but since you bring it to the table.

I am sorry but that is a very simplistic and quite upsetting(to those who have been affected by the very real issues here) statement to make. For some women there is trauma caused by termination, whether it is referred to as PAS or PTSD it does exist, and cannot be attributed to other issues in all cases.

If you can produce one reference to 'PAS' from a reputable medical or psychiatric publication then I'll concede its existence. Of course, that's OT so if you do miraculously find one please PM me rather than replying on here.

Scaring the OP and her daughter with tales of post abortion horrors is not constructive or helpful. Some women get crippling post natal depression too, surely you wouldn't offer that as a reason not to continue a pregnancy if that was the mother's choice?

poet123

Person_one wrote: »

If you can produce one reference to 'PAS' from a reputable medical or psychiatric publication then I'll concede its existence. Of course, that's OT so if you do miraculously find one please PM me rather than replying on here.

Scaring the OP and her daughter with tales of post abortion horrors is not constructive or helpful. Some women get crippling post natal depression too, surely you wouldn't offer that as a reason not to continue a pregnancy if that was the mother's choice?

It may not have been referred to as PAS, but it is naive in the extreme to believe it doesn't exist. It is not scaremongering to make sure those who are most affected by these decisions think of all the issues involved.

With regard to your last sentence, again OT, but some women do not embark on subsequent pregnancies because of that very reason. So, whilst not a general or common reason, for some, as with trauma caused by abortion it is a very real issue.

For the record, I am not anti abortion.;)

POPPYOSCAR

Please do not turn this thread into an argument or debate, that is the last thing the OP needs right now.