Daughter is pregnant - at 15!

Oldernotwiser

poppyfield19 wrote: »

As I said before please don't 'judge' my daughter. Nobody knows the circumstances of the pregnancy yet, not even I do, so how can you say things like that.

I was answering another poster who said that your daughter must have " a good head on her shoulders". I'm sure she's absolutely delightful but you really cannot describe a girl of 15 (especially without a boyfriend) who has become pregnant in that way.

Even without bringing a moral dimension into things, you have to admit that she's behaved incredibly stupidly.

Of course, I wish you both well both this afternoon and in the future but don't get too carried away with thinking that she's sensible and mature because that obviously isn't the case.

no-oneknowsme

viktory wrote: »

I don’t think it can be emphasised strongly enough how hard it will be for this child to have a child herself. She will lose so much – and probably won’t even be aware of it until she is an adult. She’ll lose her entire teenage years to motherhood. She’ll not be able to go out with her friends in the some carefree manner as her mates, she’ll not be able to go on fun holidays with them, she’ll not be able to have a gap year. She will potentially miss out on rooming with friends. Even meeting men will be harder as every relationship will have to be scrutinised with the baby in mind. Everything will be so much harder and more expensive. Every decision she makes will have to focus on the baby first and foremost. She will not be able to waste money on make up, clothes, shoes and handbags. With the best will in the world her education will suffer and she will have to work so much harder.

None of that is what I would want for my daughter. Life is hard enough and there is plenty of time for children once true adulthood has been reached and every ounce of fun and enjoyment has been squeezed out of her teenage years.

It is a difficult situation, especially if you add into the mix a mother who does not agree with abortion and potentially views this child as her last chance to have a baby in the house. It is very easy to overlook the potential difficulties that might occur when one thinks of a cuddly, bouncing baby.

I had my first child young and at the end of the day every time my Daughter wrapped her cute , chubby little arms around me and said "I wuv you Mammy" all the negative points you mention above flew right out the window.

I fully understand that each individual is different and just because this is how I felt it is not how everyone will feel.....

The OP knows her Daughter better than anyone and between the two of them they are faced with making one of the most difficult decision in her short 15 years of life.

But , its not all bad , many young mums have went on to have a rewarding , fulfilling life , made all the more rewarding because of their child.

shellsuit

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

There's more to living life to the full than having a good career.

One would hope that most parents in their thirties don't go out and behave like teenagers!

I did a couple of weeks ago. I danced the night away, drank far too much, and came home when the sun was coming up!

Me & my husband had a fab time!! :dance::dance:

POPPYOSCAR

shellsuit wrote: »

I did a couple of weeks ago. I danced the night away, drank far too much, and came home when the sun was coming up!

Me & my husband had a fab time!! :dance::dance:

:T Loving it!!!

Our teenage children sometimes seem more grown up than we are!!

They often tell us we are mad and give us that 'look' of disgust!!

gizmo111

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

There's more to living life to the full than having a good career.

One would hope that most parents in their thirties don't go out and behave like teenagers!

Thats true - I had not much money in my thirties when they were small, but the forties have been great - I plan to continue behaving in this manner, drink their inheritance and grow old disgracefully.:beer:

POPPYOSCAR

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

There's more to living life to the full than having a good career.

One would hope that most parents in their thirties don't go out and behave like teenagers!

Who said it was?

We are older than our thirties and I think you would be very disappointed in us then!!!

poet123

Not quite sure that is what ONW meant though;)

POPPYOSCAR

poet123 wrote: »

Not quite sure that is what ONW meant though;)

Please tell more!!!!!

Bloomin_Freezing2

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

What on earth makes you think that - I would say quite the opposite!

I say that because the young girl has found the courage to talk to her mum, she is going to the dr's to discuss her options. She is behaving in a mature manner. She isn't hiding away.

The fact she is pregnant doesn't mean she is a 'silly little girl' or 'easy'. She may have been taking precautions and still fallen pregnant.

My saying she has a good head on her shoulders refers to how she is behaving now, I think your comment refers to the fact she is pregnant in the first place? There's no point going on about who, what, where and when. She is pregnant and that is what needs to be addressed.

DON79

All I can say OP is that you are doing brilliantly and doing it all right. When my daughter is grown up, I hope that I can deal with any situation like this as well as you have done.

Things happen no matter how brilliant a parent you are, you just can't stop it. You can only do so much to teach them about life and life choices... and then be there for support and encouragement if things go wrong.