Daughter is pregnant - at 15!

POPPYOSCAR

When I look back I was quite a well behaved teenager when I think about it - It took me until my 20s to start being naughty!!

Person_one

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Not a student of Sociology I see.:rotfl:

A whole academic discipline written off as "stereotyping" - how silly!

Don't ber so ridiculous. Sociology is great but I'm pretty sure no sociologist (and I know several although I'm not one myself!) would claim that the study of it enables one to make judgements about every single person of a certain age group. Don't hide your prejudices behind it.

adouglasmhor

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Is that actually a medical fact or do we just talk a lot more openly about such things now?

No aids, no hepC, I had never heard of chlamydia, (unless it was lumped in with NSU).
According to stats in 1 American in 47 got an STD in the 70s now it's 1 in 4, I will try and track down some UK stats.

Violetta_2

Ladies & Gent's sorry to but in but this is of no help at all to the OP. Might be better to take your debate to DT.

Person_one

Violetta wrote: »

Ladies sorry to but in but this is of no help at all to the OP. Might be better to take your debate to DT.

You're right, I keep telling myself I won't get drawn in by ONW and always do! I'll stop there though.

adouglasmhor

Violetta wrote: »

Ladies sorry to but in but this is of no help at all to the OP. Might be better to take your debate to DT.

Sorry you are right but please put another d in that for me please - I am a Laddie not a Lady

WelshBluebird

I think all I can say is well done to the OP for being such a brilliant mother. I certainly doubt my girlfriends mother would be so understanding (and my gf is nearly 18 - I'm 21). You are going about it all the right way, making sure her health is ok is the first priority and making sure it is her decision what happens is the second. Forcing or persuading her to choose an option will not help anyone, and could lead to her resenting you. So I am glad you letting her think about it, and perhaps some people suggesting things should think about that too.

As for the father, its a difficult one. If he is someone her age and it was consensual, then I would argue he has every right to know about it before any action is taken. I would be furious if my gf had an abortion behind my back (note - if she told me, I would support whatever decision she wanted to make, but doing it behind the fathers back is just wrong IMO). As others have said, I'd try to figure out, if not who the father is, what he is (aka if he is just someone her age from school, or if something else has gone on). But that is for later.

vax2002 wrote: »

who this "nasty" man is who has made her pregnant.

How do you know he is nasty? The OP never mentioned that.
They said the daughter said he would be angry, but there are many reasons for that. One of which is that the daughter could have lied about being on the pill (I am not saying that is the case, but it is a possibility).

vax2002 wrote: »

I would be making sure that fact was established at the earliest opportunity for three reasons.

Only after the daughters health has been taken care of, and after the daughter has decided she wants to say. Scaring and bullying a child is no way to act as a parent.

vax2002 wrote: »

Firstly it may be a much older man who has well we are not using the "r" word

But if may not be a older man. It may be someone her age. In which case it certainly is not rape (you have to be under 13 for that).
Making assumptions like yours that may be false is of no help to anyone at this stage. Right now, the important things are the daughters (and the babies) health, and what is decided about the future.

tom9980

Violetta wrote: »

Ladies & Gent's sorry to but in but this is of no help at all to the OP. Might be better to take your debate to DT.

fully agree this thread is huge already! debate in DT!

As far as im concerned the OP is here for advice and seems pretty sensible about things too. The thread is here for her to vent a bit and ask questions its then up to us to give her our opinions. Varied opinions are welcome but dont debate with each other endlessly and speculate please its not a Jeremy kyle show.

Naturally opinions will vary from "left" to "right" and i can see that the OP is using them to form her own opinions and work out her approach to tackling the issues and problems they will both face. Shes doing well i think considering the circumstances and i hope she will know everything by the end of this week.

bagginslover

WelshBluebird wrote: »

But if may not be a older man. It may be someone her age. In which case it certainly is not rape (you have to be under 13 for that).
Making assumptions like yours that may be false is of no help to anyone at this stage. Right now, the important things are the daughters (and the babies) health, and what is decided about the future.

So no one over the age of 13 can be considered to have been raped?! I think you'll find anyone being forced into having intercourse against their will, regardless of their, or the rapists ages, is being raped. the rapist doesn't have to be older than them, you hear horrible things about poor old ladies being raped by burgalers (sp?) who are hardly going to be their senior in years are they?!!

Also, most teenagers take drugs,abuse alcohol and are promiscuous?! I'm not that far out of my teenage years, and my friends and I certainly never took drugs of any kind, we'd drink yes, but not til falling down drunk, and if we were sleeping with anyone,it was in steady relationships, not one night stands!

OP, I wish you and your daughter luck with whatever decision your daughter comes to. Any decision will be life changing, but I have no doubt you will be there to support her what ever she chooses.
(((hugs)))

WelshBluebird

bagginslover wrote: »

So no one over the age of 13 can be considered to have been raped?! I think you'll find anyone being forced into having intercourse against their will, regardless of their, or the rapists ages, is being raped. the rapist doesn't have to be older than them, you hear horrible things about poor old ladies being raped by burgalers (sp?) who are hardly going to be their senior in years are they?!!

That is a bit of a misrepresentation of what I was talking about.
Vax2002 was going on about how it was rape just because the OP's daughter is under 16. That is not the case. Sex with under 16's is illegal, but it is not always considered rape. What Vax2002 was thinking about is statutory rape, and in this country that only applies if the girl is under 13. If two 15 year olds have consensuel sex, then despite the fact both are underage, it is not rape. Now, it could very well have been rape, but it is not automatically rape just because of the daughers age.

Of course, anyone can be raped. Age doesn't matter. But that is not what I was talking about.

(And I apologise to the OP, I am sure they do not want to here strangers talking about if their daughter was raped or not).