Daughter is pregnant - at 15!

poppyfield19

One of her friends has 2 older brothers - 17 and 19. I know the 19 year old quite well and have spoken to him a lot, don't know anything about the other son so much. She's babysat once - but over a year ago. No private lessons or anything but she's part of a reading club at school.

Edited to add - the doctor didn't ask about the father at all no.

looby75

poppyfield19 wrote: »

She said she didn't know to start with - her periods have always been irregular so that wasn't a great indication and she's very slim but 14 weeks is a long time isn't it.

it is but there is a very good chance she really didn't know. When I was pregnant with my daughter (at 17!) I didn't know I was expecting until I was 5 months. I was on the pill and had "periods" I had NO symptoms what so ever and it was only when I missed a period at what I later found out was 5 months that I took a test just to put my mind at rest.

It didn't lol My dd is 18 now

Plans_all_plans

It could just be that one of the mums is a bit more liberal than you think and lets them go out when they're round there etc.

My group of friends had a girl in it whose mum was (looking back) a shocking parent, but at the time we thought she was the best thing ever. She would act all responsible in front of the other parents, but the minute we were round at hers there were no rules and we could do anything we wanted, including drugs (harder than weed), and she turned a blind eye. It could be something like this and another mum will let them run riot when they're in her care. My mum would be shocked to find this out about my friend's mum, even now.

poppyfield19

They grow up so fast don't they looby?

The only place she ever goes with her friends (that I'm aware of) is walking their dog. Very confused and worried.

jackieb

I knew early but kept it to myself for 32 weeks. I'm glad your daughter hasn't done that.

abby1234519

poppyfield19 wrote: »

Hi all

Firstly sorry if I haven't responded to PMs, I know a couple of people sent a PM and I have read them just not had the chance to reply yet.

Lots of new posts to read through since I last signed on

We have been to the doctors. She is 14 weeks pregnant.

The doctor discussed it a lot with her. She spoke about continuing the pregnancy, and what would happen, abortion and how that works, and adoption. She gave us a few leaflets on all of the options my daughter has and gave us some information about a support group about an hour away that helps support teen mums - including teens that chose abortion/adoption.

She was very nervous about going to the doctor but was glad to get all of the information. I think it helps hearing it from someone else - and not me - someone that doesn't have any emotional ties to my daughter if that makes sense. Obviously the doctor just gave her all of the options, information on them all, in a way I couldn't - very glad we have been.

14 weeks is quite far on, I found out when I was 2 weeks and went for my scan at 11 with my mum. That was the moment where I stopped considering abortion just because the floating alien on the screen made it rather real. I think I made the right decision, I am looking forward to be a mother, albeit not in the best of circumstances but I think you just have to cope with what life throws at you! At the end of the day, she is only 15 but is still a young woman. She might rise to the occasion and be a natural mother or she might struggle and need your help. I don't think either option is the "right" option as the outcomes are very different!! People can say its too young (and well yes it is really) but if she goes ahead with it then one would hope she is a successful mother. If she doesn't well she will hopefully have a chance later in life. Only she can decide at the end of the day. Your doing the right thing by supporting her the way you are, I admire you for not being a pushy mother!

poppyfield19

Jackieb - that's a long time.

Sorry if my posts don't read very well right now. Although the doctors visit was good for the most part I'm worrying more about the whole father thing now.

Welshdebtor

I am male and have no children so excuse my question/lack of knowledge.

Am I right in thinking that she can legally have an abortion upto 24 weeks?If so, least she has some 10 weeks to decide I guess, that said I guess it is easier earlier if that choice is made. Sure I have heard that before being 14 weeks is easier than in the 14-24 weeks period. Is that true?

Errata

Poppy - I think you're going to have to ask her if she trusts you, and if she does she must tell you who the father is as a matter of some urgency. She really can't keep secrets from you like a 12 year old.

Welshdebtor

Errata wrote: »

Poppy - I think you're going to have to ask her if she trusts you, and if she does she must tell you who the father is as a matter of some urgency. She really can't keep secrets from you like a 12 year old.

If not a name, at least an age or something to put your mind at ease.