Daughter is pregnant - at 15!

poppyfield19

Hi all

Firstly sorry if I haven't responded to PMs, I know a couple of people sent a PM and I have read them just not had the chance to reply yet.

Lots of new posts to read through since I last signed on

We have been to the doctors. She is 14 weeks pregnant.

The doctor discussed it a lot with her. She spoke about continuing the pregnancy, and what would happen, abortion and how that works, and adoption. She gave us a few leaflets on all of the options my daughter has and gave us some information about a support group about an hour away that helps support teen mums - including teens that chose abortion/adoption.

She was very nervous about going to the doctor but was glad to get all of the information. I think it helps hearing it from someone else - and not me - someone that doesn't have any emotional ties to my daughter if that makes sense. Obviously the doctor just gave her all of the options, information on them all, in a way I couldn't - very glad we have been.

peachyprice

jackieb wrote: »

Cathy Come Home. Glad it's not like that anymore.

Well done Jackie! I've been trying to think of the name of that programme for weeks. I keep seeing a poor girl trudging down the road with her two children when I'm on my may to work, she looks just like Cathy.

poppyfield19

paddy's_mum wrote: »

I'm probably going to get well and truly flamed for this but ...

I just have a niggling, uneasy feeling that the identity of the father is going to open up the most awful can of worms. The girl doesn't seem to be behaving like a giddy girl - eg same age boyfriend, endless primping in the bathroom, acting moonstruck etc.

I so hope that there is nothing sinister going on but feel obliged to say that I found the girl's choice of word to describe the putative father's reaction as "angry" to be deeply worrying. A wet-behind-the-ears immature boy might well be described as shocked, oh-my-gawd or even couldn't-care-less but angry ...?

Might this be a teacher, relative, internet 'friend' ... the ramifications are obviously appalling to even contemplate but I find myself reluctantly agreeing with a previous poster who suggested that the girl might even be in physical danger if someone is desperate to shut her up.

I don't believe that there is some wicked, ungodly bloke every six houses all over the country but unfortunately, there are enough of them out there to make any parent worry. In the OP's shoes, I'd go on doing all the right things (exactly as she is doing) but I'd also make it very much my business to find out just who and, perhaps more importantly, what the father is.

No reason for you to be flamed for this post at all.

This is exactly what I am worrying about. My daughter doesn't ever go out at night, I drop her off at her friends houses, they come to our house, and I know all of their mums. She's never done drugs/drink or anything. In fact, she has said since she started academy that she doesn't 'get' the girls her age with her fake tan, their makeup, their boyfriends. She always works hard, she's a smart girl, a great sister.

That's why I am so worried about exactly how she has got pregnant.
I hope nobody thinks I am going to just let it lie - I'll definitely be finding out who the 'father' is - I know that she's healthy now, she knows all of her options.... she's healthy, but I don't know if she's safe. Sorry to ramble on, I'm really worried and if anything has happened to her.....

peachyprice

poppyfield19 wrote: »

We have been to the doctors. She is 14 weeks pregnant.

Oh, poor little lamb, keeping it to herself all this time.:(

Plans_all_plans

I am curious as to whether your daughter has given you any indication of what she wants to do? Of course she will be confused, but has she given anything away to you at all? Has she asked what you would do in her shoes?

Best wishes.

Torry_Quine

poppyfield19 wrote: »

Hi all

Firstly sorry if I haven't responded to PMs, I know a couple of people sent a PM and I have read them just not had the chance to reply yet.

Lots of new posts to read through since I last signed on

We have been to the doctors. She is 14 weeks pregnant.

The doctor discussed it a lot with her. She spoke about continuing the pregnancy, and what would happen, abortion and how that works, and adoption. She gave us a few leaflets on all of the options my daughter has and gave us some information about a support group about an hour away that helps support teen mums - including teens that chose abortion/adoption.

She was very nervous about going to the doctor but was glad to get all of the information. I think it helps hearing it from someone else - and not me - someone that doesn't have any emotional ties to my daughter if that makes sense. Obviously the doctor just gave her all of the options, information on them all, in a way I couldn't - very glad we have been.

Glad to hear that your GP took time with you and was able to tell you of a local group. Having someone removed from the situation means that she has nothing invested in any option.

Good for you and your daughter and let us know what happens next

poppyfield19

peachyprice wrote: »

Oh, poor little lamb, keeping it to herself all this time.:(

She said she didn't know to start with - her periods have always been irregular so that wasn't a great indication and she's very slim but 14 weeks is a long time isn't it.

peachyprice

poppyfield19 wrote: »

No reason for you to be flamed for this post at all.

This is exactly what I am worrying about. My daughter doesn't ever go out at night, I drop her off at her friends houses, they come to our house, and I know all of their mums. She's never done drugs/drink or anything. In fact, she has said since she started academy that she doesn't 'get' the girls her age with her fake tan, their makeup, their boyfriends. She always works hard, she's a smart girl, a great sister.

That's why I am so worried about exactly how she has got pregnant.
I hope nobody thinks I am going to just let it lie - I'll definitely be finding out who the 'father' is - I know that she's healthy now, she knows all of her options.... she's healthy, but I don't know if she's safe. Sorry to ramble on, I'm really worried and if anything has happened to her.....

Does she babysit for anyone? Have a tutor or private lessons for anything? Or get the school bus?

Did the doctor ask about the 'father'?

looby75

poppyfield19 wrote: »

No reason for you to be flamed for this post at all.

This is exactly what I am worrying about. My daughter doesn't ever go out at night, I drop her off at her friends houses, they come to our house, and I know all of their mums. She's never done drugs/drink or anything. In fact, she has said since she started academy that she doesn't 'get' the girls her age with her fake tan, their makeup, their boyfriends. She always works hard, she's a smart girl, a great sister.

That's why I am so worried about exactly how she has got pregnant.
I hope nobody thinks I am going to just let it lie - I'll definitely be finding out who the 'father' is - I know that she's healthy now, she knows all of her options.... she's healthy, but I don't know if she's safe. Sorry to ramble on, I'm really worried and if anything has happened to her.....

Have any of her friends got got older brothers???? Just a long shot but could explain why she's not keen on saying who the dad is???

poppyfield19

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

I am curious as to whether your daughter has given you any indication of what she wants to do? Of course she will be confused, but has she given anything away to you at all? Has she asked what you would do in her shoes?

Best wishes.

She hasn't asked me that, and I don't think she knows. She keeps saying maybe it would be best to have an abortion, or maybe best to keep the baby, she's just confused right now I think. She said she was glad she'd spoken to the doctor, and glad she told me. She's on the couch reading some of the information the doctor gave her right now.