Daughter is pregnant - at 15!

Rikki

bambammy wrote: »

Because for a large majority of males, it's all to easy for a man to walk away. You only need to read womens magazines and see Jeremy Kyle to know that. By all means, females are far from innocent, but at the end of the day, it's the women that's left to deal with it.

The father of this child has no say as they are unaware to the pregnancy at present.

Maybe the op's daughters pregnancy was just waiting to happen?

I think allowing the daughter to stay off school for the week because she is pregnant is pandering to the daughter from day one. She's pregnant not unwell.

bambammy

I know what you're saying. There are some daft women out there, leaving the men to deal with, but it is small. 1.9 million single parent households. 8% are the fathers.

http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/content/365/Gingerbread-Factfile

pigpen wrote: »

Usually.. but I know a dad raising his 3 children on his own and my dad had custody of me when I was small so it isn't unheard of.

I feel it is too easy for one parent to walk away and leave the other with sole responsibility. That doesn't come down to the age though it comes down to whether the absent parent is a tool or not.

bambammy

I know that, I was commenting to poster mum24boys saying = I'm quite shocked actually at the low opinion of boys and men in general from so many people.

Rikki wrote: »

The father of this child has no say as they are unaware to the pregnancy at present.

Maybe the op's daughters pregnancy was just waiting to happen?

I think allowing the daughter to stay off school for the week because she is pregnant is pandering to the daughter from day one. She's pregnant not unwell.

anguk

Frugalista wrote: »

OP you have been asked a number of times if you work and you don't appear to have answered anywhere.

If you don't, have you asked your daughter who is going to pay to rear the (potential) baby? Does she realise that the father is going to have to be contacted regards maintenance?

Or, if you do work, does she think you're going to pay for everything? You say she is now leaning toward keeping it - does she have any idea of the costs involved? If not, she needs to be informed.

Actually that's a very good point, not just from a financial point of view but also who is actually going to look after this baby? The OP says education is very important to her daughter so if she has the baby and wants to continue with her education then someone is going to have to look after the baby.

The Op has two other children, is she going to be willing to raise her grandchild too? Or is the daughter going to put her own education on hold until the baby is older? What about when the father finds out about the baby (and he will) are the OP and her daughter prepared to let him and his family be involved?

I know some will say there is plenty of time to sort things like that out but I personally think that all options need to be fully explored now. Does the girl really realise just how much her life is going to change?

rachbc

care 2 learn will pay for the baby to be looked after whilst mum is at school/ college so op won't have to look after it

poppyfield19

Sorry - yes, I do work and usually from home (how I manage to be online throughout the day at different times).

Triker

Just wondered if your daughter is madly in love with the lad/man who is the father and has those romantic ideas of having a baby (if she intends to) meaning she has some connection with him...just a thought.

mumps

Errata wrote: »

My personal experience is of lives being ruined by a teenage pregnancy - mother's, father's, siblings, grandparents and not least of all that of the child itself. Lives that had to be patched up as best that could be managed after they were smashed.
Nature programs women to go aw at the thought and sight of a baby. Education and experience mediates that aw with knowledge. In many ways, the very worst time for a woman to make a decision about an unplanned pregnancy is when they're pregnant.

How awful, but not always that way. My grandmother and grandfather were thrilled at the thought of another baby in the family, my brother and sister were not particularly interested but quite liked him when he arrived. My mother was worried about me, a mother thing she was the same when my sister had her first baby at nearly 30. No-ones life was smashed, my husband went to work, I stayed at home with the baby for a few months and then went back to work and baby went to nursery. No drama at all.

To people who think it is awful for a teenager to "miss out" on going out can I just say not everyone thinks going out clubbing, drinking etc is great. I am still a non drinker, I went to a nightclub once and didn't like the noise. I just enjoy different things.

poppyfield19

The youngest 2 seem fine at the moment. My daughter is doing the usual things with them, playing with them, getting their baths and getting them into bed and reading them stories, watching TV with them.

poppyfield19

The only thing I worry about her missing out on if she has the baby would be her education. She isn't into parties and all of that, I don't think she would look back and think she had missed out. She isn't a very social person.

I'm sure she would try and continue her education as well as the baby - but I know that that's going to be easier said than done, and I know it's not as simple as that. I'm not sure if there is any way of showing her just how hard it would be.