Daughter is pregnant - at 15!

peachyprice

anguk wrote: »

From the OP's description her daughter is a very quiet girl who hardly goes out, only to her friends (and she's dropped off there) or to reading club or school. Yet the fact remains that she's pregnant so that means at some point she has deceived her mum and hasn't been honest.

Agree 100%, everyone keep saying 'Oh, be patient, give her time, you must make sure she keeps your trust, well done for telling her mum' etc etc, but seem to be forgetting the fact that she decieved her mum BIG TIME to get into this predicament in the first place!

anderson8

just a thought....
everyone keeps saying that the DD didnt know she was that far along, and how that means it mustve happened more than once, if time when she fell pregnant was 12 weeks ago, that would put her at 14 weeks according to the medical profession.
this could make her think she was only 12 weeks when shes actually 14, so it might have happened only once.

peachyprice

anderson8 wrote: »

just a thought....
everyone keeps saying that the DD didnt know she was that far along, and how that means it mustve happened more than once, if time when she fell pregnant was 12 weeks ago, that would put her at 14 weeks according to the medical profession.
this could make her think she was only 12 weeks when shes actually 14, so it might have happened only once.

I was thinking the same, also I don't know how the doctor can be so sure she is 14 weeks without a scan, OP herself said that her DD's periods were very irregular.

Unless of course she told the doctor the date she had sex but hadn't realised that so many weeks has passed since. It's easy to lose track of time when your head is in the sand.

Rikki

As the daughter pregnancy starts to show the babies father will know whether they are happy about it or not. She said the father would be angry with her for getting pregnant, how is he going to react to his baby being born?

I'm worried if the daughter fell pregnant in unhappy circumstances a baby could be a constant reminder.

Frugalista

OP you have been asked a number of times if you work and you don't appear to have answered anywhere.

If you don't, have you asked your daughter who is going to pay to rear the (potential) baby? Does she realise that the father is going to have to be contacted regards maintenance?

Or, if you do work, does she think you're going to pay for everything? You say she is now leaning toward keeping it - does she have any idea of the costs involved? If not, she needs to be informed.

mum24boys

balletshoes wrote: »

but the thing is in that scenario, is that whether you as a potential grandparent are consulted or not, the situation would still be the same - your son would still be a parent (and I do agree with others who have said that if a teenager of either sex doesn't want to be a parent, keep it zipped up or protected), and would still need support.
I do agree it would be best if everyone were consulted and informed, but I honestly don't think it should have a major bearing on what decision the pregnant young lady makes for herself.

Its starting to sound like 15yr old girls need to be treated a lot better and with more support than boys. I'm quite shocked actually at the low opinion of boys and men in general from so many people. It takes two to tango and two to make a baby but when it comes to pregnancy boys and there feelings go to the bottom of the pile and the young lady should be cosseted and supported all the way. Why are boys treated so unfairly?
What if the boy and his family do want to be involved. Would they not be entitled to have a say, or just the girl and her family. Should he have to fight through court at 15/16 to get visitation. Should he give up his education to work full time in McDonalds to pay the CSA.

After reading this iv given my lad a huge lecture about safe sex and contraception. I'm going to show him this thread then he can read for himself how he can expect to be treated if he should find himself in this situation.

Sorry OP not directed at you at all. Mine is a general comment.

bambammy

I think it's worse nowadays. Housing is not the same as what it was many years ago. People also! Media pressure targeting young mothers. There's many topics on this forum, with a lot of people firing into single parents! The cost to the tax payer etc etc.

If OP's daughter likes school and wants an education, she should have been taking contraception. My two daughters are under no illusions. Get pregnant, outwith a stable relationship and you're on your own! ( financially ) And I would not be giving up work etc to watch baby so they can go to college. It's to easy for kids nowadays, everythings handed to them on a plate. They all think the grass is always greener and some will run home to mummy when reality kicks in.

taxi36 wrote: »

I can just imagine you sat at your keyboard reading posts on this subject with the look of displeasure on your face. Maybe in your day the idea of a teenage mother was something to be ashamed of . You really need to keep up , we are in the year 2011 and whilst I agree the situation of finding out that your teenage Daughter is pregnant is far from ideal it is NOT the "tragedy" it used to be.

bambammy

Because for a large majority of males, it's all to easy for a man to walk away. You only need to read womens magazines and see Jeremy Kyle to know that. By all means, females are far from innocent, but at the end of the day, it's the women that's left to deal with it.

mum24boys wrote: »

Its starting to sound like 15yr old girls need to be treated a lot better and with more support than boys. I'm quite shocked actually at the low opinion of boys and men in general from so many people.

Torry_Quine

poppyfield19 wrote: »

I think she will come to her definite decision tomorrow, obviously I can't say for definite but she can't spin it out for too long and hopefully the session and sitting down with me and her dad will help her a bit.

poppyfield19 wrote: »

It's been less than a week since she told me about the pregnancy, she isn't being rude or disrespectful on purpose I'm sure, and hopefully she will trust me with that information when she feels able to. It took her a month to tell me she was pregnant, so in time I'm sure she will feel able to tell me.

Glad to hear she's going to the session tomorrow, hopefully it will help her clarify things as it really is coming to the point where she needs to make a decision. Having both her parents should also help.


How are the other children, have they picked up that something is happenng?

pigpen

bambammy wrote: »

Because for a large majority of males, it's all to easy for a man to walk away. You only need to read womens magazines and see Jeremy Kyle to know that. By all means, females are far from innocent, but at the end of the day, it's the women that's left to deal with it.

Usually.. but I know a dad raising his 3 children on his own and my dad had custody of me when I was small so it isn't unheard of.

I feel it is too easy for one parent to walk away and leave the other with sole responsibility. That doesn't come down to the age though it comes down to whether the absent parent is a tool or not.