Daughter is pregnant - at 15!

poppyfield19

I think she will come to her definite decision tomorrow, obviously I can't say for definite but she can't spin it out for too long and hopefully the session and sitting down with me and her dad will help her a bit.

WelshBluebird

rachbc wrote: »

Yep a boy needs to remember the only time he has any say about a pregnancy is when deciding to put a johnny on it or not. Clearly the male involved here decided he was happy to take the chance of a pregnancy occuring.

Surely you can say the same about the girl in this situation though. You can easily change your words to say:

"Yep a girl needs to remember the only time she has any say about a pregnancy is when deciding to have sex / take the pill or not. Clearly the female involved here decided she was happy to take the chance of a pregnancy occuring".

Now, I don't believe what I just wrote. But you can see my point? At the end of the day BOTH parties are equally responsible for the pregnancy (unless she was forced). Yes he could have used a condom, but she could have taken the pill, or said no.

fairydiamond

poppyfield19 wrote: »

I think she will come to her definite decision tomorrow, obviously I can't say for definite but she can't spin it out for too long and hopefully the session and sitting down with me and her dad will help her a bit.

This is good. At least once she's made the decision, she can move forward either way.

Plans_all_plans

Pollycat wrote: »

Imho, that's a ridiculous thing to say.

Just because things worked out OK for you doesn't mean that the same will be true for the OP and her daughter.

I hope that they make the decision that is best for them - not what worked for other people.

Of course it doesn't mean things will work out ok just because it did for one poster. On the other side of the coin, there are a few on here saying they regret their teenage pregnancy. Just cos they do, it doesn't mean everyone will.

People will share their own stories as it is what happens on open forums, but the last part of your post is the only part of any relevance in this situation.

poppyfield19

I appreciate everyones stories/experiences - it does help to hear from different people, different situations, different opinions.

Oldernotwiser

Person_one wrote: »

Teenagers have been getting pregnant forever. In the halcyon days of ONW's youth they would have been either forced to give up their babies for adoption, had them raised by the grandparents as much younger siblings, been pushed into young marriages (like one of my family members at 16, to a 29 year old man!) or risked their lives and their health procuring illegal abortions. People wearing rose tinted glasses shouldn't throw stones, or something!

You have a very strange historical perspective, I'm afraid.

Abortion was legalised when I was in my teens, the two girls of my year group (out of 100) who became pregnant whilst at school reared their babies themselves and it started to become quite trendy (if frowned on by the DM brigade) for celebrities to have a child out outside marriage.

There were enormous changes to society in the 60s, although you don't seem to realise that.

mum24boys

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

I disagree mum24boys. While I see where you are coming from in that you want to protect your own child, the OP needs to protect HER own child. The OP has voiced concerns about the effect on her DD's mental health if she aborts - she would do her child a disservice if she took anyone else's views into consideration over her daughter's.

If the daughter decides to have the baby, then his parents should get used to the idea pretty quickly and not kick up a fuss about not being consulted over the decision, because at the end of the day it is their own grandchild and flesh and blood who'll miss out. And they as his parents would also miss out on having a grandchild in their lives.

I understand that completely but to suggest that he and his parents should not be involved in the decision making process is ludicrous. All anybody wants is to protect their child all party's should be able to sort this between themselves as the best course of action. If they are old enough to be having sex then they should be old enough to take the flak that comes with it. I'm not saying that if they want a termination then she should have one but to be consulted is a must. I cant believe that anybody would think that treating a potential 15yr old boy in this way is good. I have regular chats with my son about this and he knows where he stands and the options he would have. I.e. None. He is a child himself (potentially).
I really hope this is not a position i find myself in. I would still want to be consulted if i was to become a granny.

POPPYOSCAR

poppyfield19 wrote: »

Thank you, every so often it just hits me and it's still a big shock. I know she is far from alone in the situation but it's still.... shocking

Of course it is a shock and I completely understand that. I don't think any of us here would not be shocked if this happened to us(and to some it has).

Life has a habit of throwing these things at us when we least expect it
and most people have unexpected and difficult things to deal with in their lives, some times it makes us all the stronger for it.

Pollycat

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

Of course it doesn't mean things will work out ok just because it did for one poster. On the other side of the coin, there are a few on here saying they regret their teenage pregnancy. Just cos they do, it doesn't mean everyone will.

People will share their own stories as it is what happens on open forums, but the last part of your post is the only part of any relevance in this situation.

And there's other posters on here saying they regret not having a termination (which shows a fair amount of honesty and bravery, imho).

I just thought it silly for a poster who doesn't know the OP, doesn't know the girl involved, doesn't know the financial circumstances of the family to say 'she hopes she keeps it'.

POPPYOSCAR

Pollycat wrote: »

And there's other posters on here saying they regret not having a termination (which shows a fair amount of honesty and bravery, imho).

I just thought it silly for a poster who doesn't know the OP, doesn't know the girl involved, doesn't know the financial circumstances of the family to say 'she hopes she keeps it'.

No more silly than those proclaiming keeping it to be all doom and gloom.