Daughter is pregnant - at 15!

mum24boys

Fly_Baby wrote: »

Are there 15-year old boys who genuinely want to have a baby with their girlfriends, let alone have any realistic idea of what it takes to be a proper father? What makes it so valuable to be able to have an input?

Really don't mean it to sound harsh and unsensitive. Just, as a mother of a boy, I was a bit puzzled by your post.

Of course he should have an input. The lads parents should have an input. Im sure if someone rocked up to your house informed you that your son had got their daughter pregnant, the decision was made to keep the baby and then tell you how much they expect you to pay towards it would change your mind. What exactly are you trying to say. Boys don't need help and support. You are effectively forcing the boy into being a father and as a parent i would want to be fully consulted in this.

mum24boys

rachbc wrote: »

Yep a boy needs to remember the only time he has any say about a pregnancy is when deciding to put a johnny on it or not. Clearly the male involved here decided he was happy to take the chance of a pregnancy occuring so as far as I'm concerned he has no further say in what happens next.

That is a really stupid thing to say. I hope you have not got a son.

Plans_all_plans

I disagree mum24boys. While I see where you are coming from in that you want to protect your own child, the OP needs to protect HER own child. The OP has voiced concerns about the effect on her DD's mental health if she aborts - she would do her child a disservice if she took anyone else's views into consideration over her daughter's.

If the daughter decides to have the baby, then his parents should get used to the idea pretty quickly and not kick up a fuss about not being consulted over the decision, because at the end of the day it is their own grandchild and flesh and blood who'll miss out. And they as his parents could also miss out on having a grandchild in their lives if they make too many noises as to "you should have had an abortion".

facingthefuture

I hope she keeps it, I was a pregnant teen and cannot imagine what life would have been like without my son. Him and his two siblings (born over 12 years later) mean the world to me. You manage....I have had a good life because of all of my children.They make me laugh, cry and have love in my life. I feel sorry for you all, at the moment things will sound bleak and intolerable, in a year with a little tot you will be all looking forward to Santa!!!!!

POPPYOSCAR

poppyfield19 wrote: »

She is going to the one to one session tomorrow morning, hopefully that will help. Nothing much else today, just more talking. Thanks for asking.

Thats good that she is going,hope it goes well for her.

Also good that you are continuing to talk.I think you are handling this situation very well IMO.

Oldernotwiser

Cerisa wrote: »

Or women with low self esteem, uneducated women, women without easy access to contraception etc.

And just who would those women be and why would they, out of the whole female population of the UK, not have easy access to contraception?

WelshBluebird

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

As I explained in the post you quoted, child prostitution and the introduction of the age of consent are inextricably linked. I'm sorry you didn't read (or understand?) the reference I gave for this.

The reasoning for the law maybe linked, but:
1 - It has no relevance at all to the thread
2 - Anyway can see the huge difference between child prostitution and a 15 year old willingly having sex with someone of a similar age. They are nothing at all alike.

Pollycat

facingthefuture wrote: »

I hope she keeps it, I was a pregnant teen and cannot imagine what life would have been like without my son. Him and his two siblings (born over 12 years later) mean the world to me. You manage....I have had a good life because of all of my children.They make me laugh, cry and have love in my life. I feel sorry for you all, at the moment things will sound bleak and intolerable, in a year with a little tot you will be all looking forward to Santa!!!!!

Imho, that's a ridiculous thing to say.

Just because things worked out OK for you doesn't mean that the same will be true for the OP and her daughter.

I hope that they make the decision that is best for them - not what worked for other people.

Rather than 'looking forward to Santa with a little tot' they may be a family in crisis.

poppyfield19

Thank you, every so often it just hits me and it's still a big shock. I know she is far from alone in the situation but it's still.... shocking

POPPYOSCAR

mum24boys wrote: »

Of course he should have an input. The lads parents should have an input. Im sure if someone rocked up to your house informed you that your son had got their daughter pregnant, the decision was made to keep the baby and then tell you how much they expect you to pay towards it would change your mind. What exactly are you trying to say. Boys don't need help and support. You are effectively forcing the boy into being a father and as a parent i would want to be fully consulted in this.

In reality neither you nor your son would have any input, the girl does not have to have an abortion just because you or your son does not want him to be a father,something I have pointed out to my own son many times.

The law would be firmly on the girls side.