Daughter is pregnant - at 15!

rachbc

Amanda65 wrote: »

I have two daughters and one son (aged 15 funnily enough!) and I can remember talking to a friend a few years ago about the girls and saying how as a mother of girls you had to deal with the consequences of an unwanted pregnancy. She quite rightly pointed out that my son was at the mercy of any choice a pregnant girl and her family made, whereas as the mother of the daughter I could at least have some input into the decision (and before I get flamed I am assuming that it takes two to tango and therefore, if consensual, they have equal responsibility for the situation). Very wise words that I have always remembered and as my DS is 15 and has a girlfriend, something I have (on several occasions and much to his embarrasment) spoken to him about.

Yep a boy needs to remember the only time he has any say about a pregnancy is when deciding to put a johnny on it or not. Clearly the male involved here decided he was happy to take the chance of a pregnancy occuring so as far as I'm concerned he has no further say in what happens next.

pimento

Fly_Baby wrote: »

Are there 15-year old boys who genuinely want to have a baby with their girlfriends, let alone have any realistic idea of what it takes to be a proper father? What makes it so valuable to be able to have an input?

Really don't mean it to sound harsh and unsensitive. Just, as a mother of a boy, I was a bit puzzled by your post.

What makes it so valuable is not having a say and just being sent a bill after the fact.

Fly_Baby

pimento wrote: »

What makes it so valuable is not having a say and just being sent a bill after the fact.

That will be the easiest and the cheapest way out for him, if you ask me.

pelirocco

Fly_Baby wrote: »

Does it matter? If used properly, contraception is as effective as it states. If it is not used properly there is emergency contraception.

When I started having sex (much later than at 15, FWIW) I was absolutely terrified of getting pregnant. And used double contraception just to be sure so it never failed me.

Erm didnt you post that you considered an abortion when you were pregnant?

Plans_all_plans

Pimento, if a man doesn't want to be a father, the only 100% foolproof way of not becoming one is abstinence. If he's not abstaining, then a baby is a real possibility!

the_cat

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

Pimento, if a man doesn't want to be a father, the only 100% foolproof way of not becoming one is abstinence. If he's not abstaining, then pregnancy is a consequence he may have to live with!

Likewise for a woman! (although at least she has the choice of whether to continue with the pregnancy or abort)

Fly_Baby

pelirocco wrote: »

Erm didnt you post that you considered an abortion when you were pregnant?

Yes, but I didn't say that my contraception had failed, did I?

peachyprice

jtr2803 wrote: »

I can't remember the name of the actual programmes but I do remember a series of TV shows were youngsters were asked to look after babies/dolls for a short period of time. Many of them simply could not cope and admitted that they would no longer be having unprotected sex and would actively look at preventing a pregnancy. No one can ever explain just how damn hard parenting can be.

They have these at my sons' high school. They 'behave' just like real babies, cry all night, need feeding, changing, entertaining etc etc. The children keep them for a week then take them back and the care they have given is analysed. The girls look knackered after just a few days with them.

Maybe that's why we don't have so many teen pregnancies

Pennylane

Haven't read all the posts but are you sure she IS pregnant?

15 is very young to have a baby (although plenty do) but YOU will also have to help out I'm sure. Is that what you want? Do you work or do you have time to help?

There's a young girl renting a house behind me (single Mum about 17 with a baby boy). In this hot weather she's sitting out in her garden effing & blinding on the phone to her boyfriend "I'm effing sitting here looking after your effing baby when I could be effing out with my mates and where the eff are you?" Poor baby cries for hours sometimes. It's just like the Jeremy Kyle Show.

Her mother comes every day at some point and I see her taking stuff away to wash and iron and bringing plates of food and shopping. She looks exhausted herself because she works full time as a pharmacy assistant at our GP surgery. I don't suppose she needs to be looking after a daughter and grandson as well to be honest!

Anyway, I hope you all get this sorted out.

peachyprice

KxMx wrote: »

If you are having periods, you are fertile, your body is ready for a baby. Quite simple i'm afraid.

Sorry,that is absolute bollox.

There is a 9yo girl in my DD's class, according to you she'd ready for a baby? Get a grip. There's far more to being ready for a baby than being fertile.