Daughter is pregnant - at 15!

Errata

JTR - I remember that series, they were clueless.
There's many a post from a dishevelled parent going loopy because their baby won't sleep, sleep through, or behave in a civilised fashion throughout the night. And that's when they have a partner. Doing it solo must feel like the seventh circle of hell.

KxMx

Errata wrote: »

She is still a little girl. Her body, brain and intellect haven't reached anything like maturity at 15.
In your shoes I'd be dragging her to a one-to-one session by her hair if I needed to. She isn't too sure because she doesn't have the cognitive ability to make a decision. Make it for her.

If you are having periods, you are fertile, your body is ready for a baby. Quite simple i'm afraid.

You don't know OP's daughter; she is the only one capable of deciding how mature she is. 15 does not automatically qualify you as a child. For some maybe but not all.

pigpen

KxMx wrote: »

If you are having periods, you are fertile, your body is ready for a baby. Quite simple i'm afraid.

A girl at our primary started periods at 8.. does that apply there too? she played with Barbies and dollies and a tea set.. a body being ready doesn't mean the mind is!

Another had precocious puberty and had periods at 2..

Errata

KxMx wrote: »

If you are having periods, you are fertile, your body is ready for a baby. Quite simple i'm afraid.

A very reductive view when nowadays some girls start their periods at nine.

KxMx

pigpen wrote: »

A girl at our primary started periods at 8.. does that apply there too? she played with Barbies and dollies and a tea set.. a body being ready doesn't mean the mind is!

Another had precocious puberty and had periods at 2..

Obviously there are exceptions to the norm, there are medical reasons etc, I myself started at 11.

But a 15 year old is quite capable in my view. A few exceptions doesn't discount what is normal for the majority.

You can disagree if you like, but nature has a way of doing things we just don't/ can't understand.

I'd be interested to find out when some on here would consider a girl/ boy goes from a child to a young adult? Forever? 30? Does it happen overnight or is it different for everybody hmmm like I was saying earlier?

Fly_Baby

KxMx wrote: »

If you are having periods, you are fertile, your body is ready for a baby. Quite simple i'm afraid.

You don't know OP's daughter; she is the only one capable of deciding how mature she is. 15 does not automatically qualify you as a child. For some maybe but not all.

Wouldn't using contraception be the best proof of her maturity?

KxMx

Fly_Baby wrote: »

Wouldn't using contraception be the best proof of her maturity?

Not even the OP knows the circumstances yet as I understand.

mum24boys

Iv been following this thread but have stayed quiet until now.

How many of you are mothers of sons. Iv got four boys and my eldest is 15. Its more than possible that the father is also a young lad.

I would be hopping mad at such a decision being made without mine or my sons input. Some on here don't really see that as important and are disregarding him. If it was my 15 yr old i would be extremely concerned. My eldest cant get out of bed in a morning for school never mind become a father and i think that his views and needs should be considered too. The lad will need some support too and seems to be vilified and blamed. It would probably help if he knew.

The OP daughter needs to get a grip really and realise this does not just effect her but effects a whole other family out there and they should have input on the situation.

How many of you with sons would be happy at being the last to know, when the decision has been made about your boy, which will impact hugely on his life forever.

I was also a teen mum (19) and completely agree with Viktory. I missed out on so much. I found being a single teen mum frighting, isolating and in hindsight would never do it again.
OP of course your daughter will want to go out clubbing and partying when she is old enough. All her friends will be and she wont want to be left out. Its not the same when your older.
I think you are !!!!! footing around her for some reason instead of dealing with the issues. You need to know who the father is so he and his family can be told asap. Stroppy refusals to name him need to be dealt with, this is not a game, its a complete mess and if she chooses to continue with her pregnancy then you need to reinforce to her that this behaviour cannot continue. Time to grow up and face the reality of what is actually happening.

My sister had a baby at 16. She now has 5 kids by 4 different men and lives on benefits. She is 33 now and her life is down the toilet. She has made bad choice after bad choice and blames it all on her kids and wishes half the time she never had them. She also takes no responsibility for her own life which is probably the reason its so carp. She wont change now even though she knows the affect her lifestyle is having on her eldest. She does not seem to care much. Its such a shame.

Fly_Baby

KxMx wrote: »

So we know that it was no contraception and not a failure? Does OP even know at this stage?

Does it matter? If used properly, contraception is as effective as it states. If it is not used properly there is emergency contraception.

When I started having sex (much later than at 15, FWIW) I was absolutely terrified of getting pregnant. And used double contraception just to be sure so it never failed me.

pigpen

KxMx wrote: »

Obviously there are exceptions to the norm, there are medical reasons etc, I myself started at 11.

But a 15 year old is quite capable in my view. A few exceptions doesn't discount what is normal for the majority.

You can disagree if you like, but nature has a way of doing things we just don't/ can't understand.

I think the majority of 15 y/o's are quite capable too and I aso get the impression the OP's daughter needs a kick to get a decision from her.. she wants to keep the baby but she is too scared or pressured or nagged to say exactly what she wants for whatever reason, real or perceived. (she is 15 being asked the same question twice in 3 months is nagging!)

OP.. have you asked about how her clothes are fitting? Would she like to go shopping for something more roomy? .. it may seem unrelated but if she has no intention of continuing she won't want bigger clothes reminding her.. If she didn't want it you'd have known immediately most likely.. everyone I know who has had a termination knew what they wanted before they got those 2 lines!.. at all ages!