Daughter is pregnant - at 15!

mandi

viktory wrote: »

Oh don't be so soft! It was a genuine question; what did that 'supportive' post bring to the party?

This is not a " party" for the OP vicktory, and before you retaliate which no doubt you will. I refer you to this post

viktory wrote: »

I think you'll find my posts are generally considered, well received and intelligently written - especially the posts on this thread

Despite all the contradictions to the majority of your posts , you still are under some illusion that your posts are " constructive " the same applies for ONW.

Come on I don't want to slag off either of you , but why do you both continue when it is niether constructive or helpful to Poppy . ??

IMHO she is apologising when she has no need to .. Please give her a break.

[Deleted User]

Hi,

does this not go into the 'well that's not the answer I was wanting' so go away.

Poppy posted on an open forum so must be acceptable to all replies, whether she agrees with them or not.

viktory

I am not in the least bit surprised that the OP's daughter will be keeping the child; at this stage it is the easy decision to make as it requires no action. Again, I see Poppy mention her daughter continuing her schooling at home. I do hope that this will be possible; it strikes me that decisions are being taken without all the facts on the why and how.

I am really saddened by this thread; Welshdebtor said that one young Mum said she didn't regret missing out on going out when you turned 18, turned 21, and doing all those things young girls do - there are plenty that do. Later in life, when true maturity has arrived you realise what you have lost and it is too late to change it. There are still opportunities for very young Mum's but it is so much harder to take those opportunities and some things are lost forever. Of course no one regrets having their child young once that gorgeous, bouncing baby has arrived; but it takes courage and honesty to say 'You know what? I love my child, but boy, do I wish I had done things differently" I see so many young girls taking this decision without being fully aware of the implications of their decision - how can they know; they are still children themselves. Despite all their bluff and bravado they rely on the adults - their parents to steer them in the right direction and to help them make truly informed decisions - hard headed decisions, not those based entirely on emotion.

Poppy, I wish you and your daughter all the best. I really hope everything works out well for the whole family.

POPPYOSCAR

RacyRed wrote: »

What she should or shouldn't have done is irrelevant now. She did have underage sex and her pregnancy proves it. My suggestion was aimed at helping the OP to find out if her daughter, who has no obvious boyfriend or opportunity to have a relationship, had sex consensually or not. Direct questioning didn't work. Demanding answers is unlikely to work, so why not try other ways to get her daughter talking about such an important matter?

So some of you think it is "pervy" for a mother and daughter to discuss the physical and emotional dynamics of sex as well as the practicalities? No wonder so many teenagers go about finding the answers to their questions in other ways.

My daughter would run from the house screaming if I tried to discuss the 'dynamics' of sex with her!!!!!!

Oldernotwiser

Welshdebtor wrote: »

One young mum I knew was often asked "Don't you regret missing out on going out when you turned 18, turned 21, and doing all those things young girls do?" Her response "How can you miss something you have never experienced?"

I think that's one of the saddest things I've read on here.

Oldernotwiser

anothergymslipmum wrote: »

Poppyfield19, you are right not to try to force your opinion on her and to allow her to make her own decision. But, and this is the thing, she has not your experience nor wisdom of age to make the correct decision for herself without your help and advice. You know what it's like to bring a child into the world and to accept total responsibility for it but she doesn't. I think this is what oldernotwiser and others are saying to you.

Exactly.

Most parents of 15 year olds will have an input into even their simplest decisions, so it seems foolhardy to leave her to make one of the most difficult decisions of her life without some input.

Kimberley82

GlasweJen wrote: »

I'm also 24, at our school the girls who were sleeping with guys at 14/15 were the under achievers and were considered weird/dirty/attention seeking. Girls certainly weren't bullied for not having sex, it was the ones who were having sex/walking about with bumps who were shunned.

And I can't say that I went to a posh school, of my year group (8 classes of 33) only 13 went to uni.

I am 29 and was at a private school and nearly all the girls had sex before 16, it was a small school so we all knew each other well.

Oldernotwiser

Person_one wrote: »

I had sex because I wanted to, because I really liked my boyfriend (also 15), fancied him, and enjoyed the pleasurable sensations of sexual contact. Isn't that why most people have sex? Whether they're 15 year old schoolgirls or 50 year married couples?
.

You had a steady boyfriend; don't you think that's a major difference?

I cannot understand how you can believe that peer group pressure to have underage, promiscuous sex is a good thing, but that the opposite is is bad.

Bloomin_Freezing2

I hope your daughter is able to make a final decision soon as to whether to progress with the pregnancy or not. If she does decide to keep it I hope she realises what a really big thing this is and makes the mature decision to tell you who the father is so you can stop worrying on that part.

POPPYOSCAR

Kimberley82 wrote: »

I am 29 and was at a private school and nearly all the girls had sex before 16, it was a small school so we all knew each other well.

Wasn't a convent school was it?