Daughter is pregnant - at 15!

taxi36

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

You might want to give me an example of where I've abused anyone; it will take you a considerable time to find something.

Time which I wouldnt waste on the likes of you! You appear to be a harsh "old school" type looking down your nose at teen mums. Not worth another second of my time.

viktory

taxi36 wrote: »

Yawn...next you will be telling us that you really are that big fat pink thing with the green spots!

Taxi, let me tell you - I, for one, am so glad you have joined the discussion. Your intelligent input has undoubtedly been invaluable for the OP. Your thoughtful comments, perceptive remarks, kindness and consideration for others really puts the rest of us in the shade. Do you really drive a taxi? I bet your customers love you and seek out your taxi so they can engage in deep, meaningful discourse with you.

poppyfield19

Hi everyone,

It's taken me a while to read through all of the new posts

I don't think she did plan on keeping the baby, she actually seemed to be edging towards an abortion. She said she didn't want to see anything during any scans.

She's said tonight she thinks she might keep the baby. She said 14 weeks was quite far along, longer than she thought - genuinely don't think that she has known for longer than she has). She said a lot of it is that she is scared of an abortion. The actual procedure, but after it, how would she cope with the guilt. She said she knows it's technically not a baby right now but still, she thinks she might really regret it if she gets an abortion, and that maybe she would be doing it so she can just forget about it, it seemed to start with like the easy thing to do, before she'd told me, but now she sees that it wouldn't be as simple as get the abortion and that's it all over.

She spoke to her dad again on the phone tonight. He didn't really know what to say to her I don't think, but I think she found it easy to talk to him, she hasn't spoken to him properly since he left and to just be able to talk and have someone listen I think helped her a bit, she just spoke to him reasons why she considered abortion/continuing pregnancy etc.

So nothing definite yet - but from what she has said today, I think she will continue the pregnancy. She is looking forward to talking to her dad 'in person' on Friday I think, when she can sit down with him and myself and talk about it and make a proper decision.

I did think she seemed 'different' but since her dad left, I've been worried about her on and off quite a lot, but not been able to help her a great deal, not as much as I'd have liked to. I do feel bad, guilty, that I didn't notice anything more than usual though. She is very slim so you can't "see" anything at all. She hasn't actually had any sickness, she's felt a bit sicky sometimes.

Also regarding the father, I just want her to make a decision on what she wants to do and then we can get around to him. It was only 5 days ago that she told me, and today she came to me and spoke to me about what she wanted to do, good and bad things about the options she had.

She also mentioned adoption, she said she might look into that more and find out more about how it works - to be honest, as I said earlier in the thread, I don't know a great deal about how it works I just think that she might find it harder if she had the baby, and had to let it go.

Sorry if I'm rambling and if this doesn't make much sense - thank you all for the replies again x

MrsAtobe

Poppyfield, I hope you had a constructive day today and that you are bearing up.

poppyfield19

I just read what I posted, not very well written at all.

mumps

mum2one wrote: »

I did one of my preganacy tests in McDonalds toilets...

Snap. There was a queue by the time I came out.

Oldernotwiser

taxi36 wrote: »

Time which I wouldnt waste on the likes of you! You appear to be a harsh "old school" type looking down your nose at teen mums. Not worth another second of my time.

As I said, you couldn't find anything.

mountainofdebt

taxi36 wrote: »

Time which I wouldnt waste on the likes of you! You appear to be a harsh "old school" type looking down your nose at teen mums. Not worth another second of my time.

Taxi - before your daughter got pregnant what was your take on teen mums?

There is a huge difference between the situation that your daughter finds herself in and the OP's daughter, not only because of the difference in ages but more importantly your daughter was in a relationship and the OP's daughter apparently wasn't.

For every success story, I bet there's many more where the girl failed to reach her potential in life becuase she became pregnant when a teen.

LittleMissMPB

Can I just say, that at 14 weeks it does look like a 'baby' - ok a very small one, but bigger than you would think, but all fingers/toes etc are there. Just a suggestion - if she does go for a termination, in my opinion, it would be less traumatic to have a surgical one rather than a medical one if at all possible. At my local hospital they only allow medical terminations after 12weeks, which involves basically being induced into labour. The contractions are 'mild', just like a take-your-breath-away period pain, they give you pain releif, but you have to deliver the feotus and placenta, and chances are she may see something of the feotus (I was left alone long enough to know mine was a little girl, although was a little further along and that image and guilt has never left me, it's been 2.5yrs now, they tell you not to look but it's a reaction to - don't judge me for my decision about that baby though as I still believe I made the right choice)

poppyfield19

Thanks LittleMissMPB, I have to say that although I have nothing against abortion and know it's often the right thing to do, it does worry me that she is 14 weeks pregnant. Maybe not technically a baby, but it does 'look' like a small version of one at that point if that makes sense. It's not for me I'm worried, it is my daughter, I'm not sure she'd be able to cope with that. I hope I don't sound selfish and people assume I've tried to put her off an abortion, it just worries me.